Ivan’s POV
Two hours before I left for Norway I was in my home office, trying to finalise some documents. I needed to get some things done. The door swung open as Maxim barged in, I ignored him, tapping on my keyboards.
“I found out you are fucking Smith’s daughter,” he spat.
I ignored his insolence, “Congratulations on your new findings Sherlock Holmes, but I didn’t think I needed to discuss my sex life with you.”
He swallowed thickly, “That’s not what this is about, Ivan. I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about who you decided to stick your cock in.”
“I still don’t see how that is any of your business.”
“You’re unbelievable! I found out a few days back and I thought it was a one-time thing, but you were with her again last night, why would you do that?”
“Are you asking me to explain myself to you, Maxim?” I asked calmly.
“That’s not the point, Ivan. I”
“Are you fucking trying to tell me how to live?!” I barked
Maxim flinched. “You’ve been acting differently, you’ve not done anything about Smith, and you haven’t even used the captive for our plan! I’ve never seen you attached to someone, you don’t even care about using her anymore.”
“So you think I’m enamored because I fuck her? I wanted her and went for it, that’s all. This means nothing and you have two seconds to get out,” I growled.
“Ivan, I’m sorry”
“Get the fuck out if you don’t want a bullet wound to your head!”
He nodded and left quietly.
Was I attached to her? I didn’t think so. We are just attracted to each other.
We just have sex. Very hot, steamy sex.
MOTHER’S BIRTHDAY
There’s laughter, loud music, drinks, and a variety of meals.
The birthday celebration was going pretty well, save for the fact that Mother didn’t stop nagging me with questions like;
“Have you started seeing anyone? Vera’s second daughter is beautiful and single, should I link you up? I’d love to see your children before I die.” She’s just sixty and I don’t think I want marriage or children.
“Ivan, my boy, when will you quit?” I’m not even a boy anymore. I love her, but she can be annoying. Her friends took her attention from me, giving me a chance to escape. I took out my phone to keep myself entertained, ’cause I was already bored.
“Ivan.” A hand slaps my upper arm, pulling my attention from my phone to Sasha and her husband, Elio. We shook each other’s hands.
He left to attend to some guests and Sasha turned to me, “Hey big brother, why are you in the corner looking like a kicked puppy? Not enjoying the party?” She brings her glass to her lips, taking a sip of her champagne.
“It’s fine,” I answered. I pointed across the room at Ania, “Ania, looks more like a kicked puppy than myself, why aren’t bothering her ?”
She waved her hands dismissively, “Oh, she’ll live, she just had a fight with her best friend, and right now I’m talking about you.”
“And what about me?”
“You look bored out of your mind, like you’d rather be anywhere but here. It’s mum’s birthday, you need to cheer up,” Her tone turned serious.
I felt bad, it was my mother’s sixtieth birthday, and she had made it this far, I should be grateful, “Fine, I’m sorry. I had a lot on my mind.”
“Don’t worry, we are good. You know, Mother wants to set you up with Liliya, Vera’s daughter,” she snickers.
“No!” I said firmly.
She studies me, “You’re seeing someone?”
“I’m not interested in relationships,” I said defensively.
She lets her eyes scan my face, squinting a bit, then smiles. “I think you do have someone you like.”
“Sasha don’t-”
“Oh God! Someone help!” I heard Ania scream, causing Sasha and me to turn in her direction. My heart dropped.
Mother was on the floor, I moved toward her with the speed of lightning. “Someone fucking call her doctor or an ambulance!” I shouted.
I, Sasha, and Ania, who was freaking out so much, were waiting outside Mother’s room for the doctor to tell us what had happened.
A few minutes later, he came out and we rushed to him. “Dr. Khan, what’s wrong with her? How is she?” Sasha asked.
“She just needed rest, she’s been given IV she should be fine by tomorrow morning,” Dr. Khan said calmly. “Although with her condition, she needs family-”
“Condition?” I asked.
His lips formed a shape of O, “She didn’t inform you guys?”
He got his answer by our confused expression.
“Please speak to her about it, it’s not my place to tell you.” He excused himself out.
We all rushed to her room. She looked better, but pale and weak.
“Hey, I’m fine, I promise,” she said, her voice is the type of chipper that I know is forced.
“Is there something you need to tell us, mum?” Ania asked.
“What do you mean dear?”
“Stop, mother, cut the shit. Tell us the truth, please,” Sasha was the one who spoke this time while I observed Mother. My gut tells me what I needed to know but my wishful thinking gives me hope that I maybe overthinking.
She inhales sharply, “Okay, fine,” she dejects. “There’s something I need to tell you guys, something that I’ve been putting off.”
“No…” Sasha gasped.
My heart dropped to my stomach. There’s only one thing she’d need to tell us that would make her sound so gloomy.
“It’s back.” Her voice cracks.
Pressure builds behind my eyes as I try to put together what she’s saying. The blood roars in my ears, making it hard for me to concentrate.
“W-what do you mean?” Ania sobbed.
“The cancer, it’s back.” Tears rolled down my mother’s cheeks.
“How bad?” I ask, trying to be the reasonable and brave one for my sisters.
“Stage four,” she whispers, emotion thick on her tongue.
Each word is another blow to the chest. My throat constricts against the lump forming, making it impossible to swallow.
Sasha and Ania break down, crying. “Are there any options?” I ask, trying desperately to hold on to hope, but the feeling in my gut kept telling me there was none.
“Ivan…”
“Fine! How long have you known about this, mum?” My tone is harsher than I mean.
A sob works its way up her throat, the sound a dagger to my heart. A single tear spills over, falling down my face as I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from breaking down.
“How long?”
“About six weeks,” she chokes out, making my heart stutter.
Godfuckingdamnit!
“For fuck’s sake, Mother!” Sasha exclaimed.
“Why?” My voice sounds panicked. It’s foreign to my ears. “Why wouldn’t you tell us the moment you found out, mother? Why?”
“Because I thought I could beat this without having to worry you! I’ve worried you enough, Ivan.” She sighs, her breath shaky as she continues. “It’s spread into my lymph nodes. Before we could fully treat it, it had spread throughout the rest of my body. It’s everywhere, Ivan, and there is nothing that can be done.”
How can this be happening again? How many times does she have to fight for her fucking life before she can get to live?
“What can they do?” I ask again.
“There’s nothing they can-”
“That’s bullshit!” I bellow. “Of course, there’s something they can do! We can take you to another doctor; a better one. Get a second opinion.”
“Ivan, stop.” Her tone is the steadiest it’s been for this entire conversation. “I’ve gotten a second opinion already. Hell, I’ve gotten a third. I’ve seen the best oncologist in the country. There’s nothing they can do.” She enunciates the words, like if she speaks clearer, it’ll force me to accept them. But I don’t.
“I’m sorry.”
“No Mum, you can’t abandon us again, and forever this time!” Ania pleaded.
“Ania, baby, I’m sorry. I know I’ve wronged you and your siblings, if I could go back in time, I would.” She paused and she broke down in quiet sobs, “Maybe this is it, my punishment for what I had done.”
A burn builds inside my chest. I’ve never felt as helpless as I do right now. My muscles ache with tension as I fight the urge to upend this entire room. Break everything in its entirety. Burn the fucking world down.
“How…” My voice cracks. I clear my throat. “How long do they think?”
“It’s hard to say,” she sniffs. “I have another appointment scheduled for next week where they’ll take some more scans and make a plan.
The remaining two days passed in a blur. Soon I was heading home, there I could let myself go and grieve properly and not bother to be strong for anyone.