JUNIPER’S POV:
My eyes remain wide for a moment as I stare at Troy, then I feel his hands around my body, jerking me back to reality, and I stare at him.
“Are you sure you want this?” he asks me, and I inhale deeply as I realize what happened was only in my mind.
This makes it clear to me I still have feelings for Hiram
, and I am only going to hurt Troy. He has been a great friend, and I have the chance to not allow it to happen.
“I… I…” I pause, inhaling deeply. “Troy, you are a great guy,” I say, then he pulls away from me with his brows drawn down.
“So, I’m getting another rejection?” he questions, then I keep mute.
I finally speak. “I’m sorry, Troy, but I am only trying to protect you. You have been great to me, and I cannot ruin what we have.”
He shakes his head, cupping my face with his hands.
“You are not ruining anything, June. The moment I saw you that day at the bakery, I have longed to be with you. If you are not ready to get intimate, then we shouldn’t rush it. I can wait until you are ready, but I want you,” he says, and I inhale sharply, reaching for his hands, pulling them away from my face.
I feel something in my heart which I cannot quite place. He is a nice guy, and I hate what I am about to do to him, but it is better than leading him on for no reason.
“Troy, it’s not you. I do not want you to ever feel that you have done anything wrong. Everything is on me, and I am trying to do the right thing because I cannot hurt you.”
His face falls, and it claws at my chest, but I let the words leave my mouth.
“I just realized I still love Hiram, and having anything with you is just me leading you on. I do not want to use you as a rebound, please.”
I take a step back.
“You deserve better, Troy, and you should be with someone who loves you completely. You are one of the best people I have met, and you have never given up on me.”
“Then do not give up on us,” he says, and I swallow the lump in my throat threatening to suffocate me. Then I shake my head.
“I cannot do that because I know it will not last. I do not trust myself not to go back to Hiram if he walks through that door. It’s been weeks, and all I can think of is him.” He walks away, sitting on the bed.
“I’m really sorry, and I’ll do anything to make your life better. If you want me to be scarce, then I’ll do that. Just mention it, and I’ll be gone.” I say to him.
He looks up at me.
“I’ll never wish that, and if anything, I would love to see you more. Thank you for being honest with me, June.” He forces a smile on his face, which makes the burden on my chest feel a bit lighter as I walk toward him, sitting on the bed.
“A man can be successful and still not have everything he wants,” he says, glancing at me, then he reaches for my hand, bringing it to his lips. “I’d still love you, June. I fell in love with you, and I’ll choose what to do with that.” He adds, then he plants a kiss on my cheek.
**
It’s been a day since the incident between Troy and me, and I can’t help but beat myself up for what went down between us. I feel terrible, but I know it is for the best.
“It’s good you let him know how you feel, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up,” Rhea says to me as she strokes my head gently.
I lie there with my eyes shut. I am tired of going through this loop, and I keep wondering when everything is going to end. It’s almost as though I cannot get over Hiram.
“What if I never get over him, and I keep thinking of him when I get intimate with my future partners?” I question Rhea, who lets out a sigh as I raise my head slightly. “He is like everywhere in my head, and it really scares me. I didn’t ask for any of this… this werewolf bs. It is eating me alive, and I can feel it.”
Rhea keeps stroking my head for a while before she speaks.
“Maybe you should see him,” she says, and I glance at her. “If you cannot get over him, then you should speak with him. I’m not saying you should forgive him, because he obviously hurt you a lot, but he also protected you as his mate, and he loved you to the best of my knowledge, even though his character was questionable.”
“Just see him, and talk things out, then maybe break the mate bond,” she says, and I shake my head.
“It will hurt him,” I say in a low tone.
“If you care so much about that, then you are still very much in love with Hiram, and you should find him at once,” she says, lifting my head up from her lap. “We could find his best friend, and she can direct you on how to get to his world.”
Her words give me a flicker of hope, but fear begins to creep in, and I wonder if he has moved on. What if he is with someone now? I question myself.
“Do not think of it too much, just act.” Rhea flicks my forehead with her fingers and I wince in pain.
I rub my forehead, trying to soothe it and erase my ill thoughts.
At that moment, we hear a knock on the door, and we both get to our feet. Rhea gets to the door, and Alex walks in…