“Do you want to go for shopping after this?” Kylee asked me, holding my hand and giving it a squeeze.
Perhaps, it was her way of trying to soothe the calm that was now stuffing the waiting room. Christian on the other hand was a ghost, his hands were in his pocket and he was leaning on the wall and gazing out of the window. Thankfully, there was a window there, or I wouldn’t know how else he would contain the emotions coursing through his vein.
He was looking outside, to indulge his mind in something else and to distract it from the moment at hand. He was watching other people, without a smile or frown. I remember the last time we had come for a test, how he had been disappointed but had acted as if he didn’t feel crushed.
If this one turned out to be a negative, I would not go for a pregnancy test untill I was certain, untill my belly was beginning to have a bump. I wouldn’t want to pass through the waiting, the hoping and the crushing.
I wanted this too, I did not know it had come to this but, I wanted a baby. I wanted a baby so bad my throat was clogged with fear that the results would come out negative.
Kylee gave my hand a squeeze again and I remembered that she had asked me something.
“I don’t..” before I could turn down her request, the doctor strolled in. His eyes were hard and intelligent.
The corners of his lips lifted in a small smile. He strolled inside and didn’t bother to close the door behind him. His eyes went to Christian and me and then Kylee.
He did as he was told he just handed the envelope to me and headed out, without another word.
Christian took in breath sharply and he turned away from the window and faced me fully. I could feel the heat of his stare. I handed it to Kylee sharply.
“Open it” I told her, my voice was sharp and it was like an order and I didn’t mean any of it. But, Kylee still tore open the envelope. Whether she heard my tone and made a great effort to push it aside, or she was too excitement to pay any mind to my tone.
Christian stood beside me now, his hand was on my shoulder, I did not look up at him but I held his hand.
Kylee’s face went pale.
“What does it say?” I asked her and she still froze, staring open mouthed at the piece of paper. I took it from her hand and looked at it.
My breath caught in my throat.
“It’s positive Jenna… You’re pregnant”
*****
I was leaning against the kitchen island, watching Christian and Kylee make some pastries. The both of them had not exchanged a single word, not even one.
The house was too and both of them offered to make something, certainly because they could no longer stand the silence and they wanted to keep themselves busy.
I rubbed my knuckles on my dress and I walked towards them.
“I should help” I said.
Christian turned to me, his eyes still shone.
We had not spoken a word about it. I could feel the happiness surging from him. I could almost taste it, it was overwhelming.
“No, stay back” Kylee’s said, her voice was hard, she just gave me an order.
I shook my head.
“Both of you are practically covered in flour and you two seem to be enjoying it very much seeing the way you’re smiling”
Christian turned away from me, a small smile was tugging on his lips but he said nothing, I wondered if he could even talk.
I joined them and even though I didn’t do much, I had flour covering my clothes by the time we were done.
Kylee waved us goodbye, she gave me a wink and then she disappeared. I turned to Christian, he was watching me, that happiness still dancing around him like a fog and his bedroom eyes were now calm and alluring.
“I can’t ___” he trailed off because he had no words. “This can’t be a dream, I’ll never forgive reality”