Marvin was completely shocked to know about my past. He was left speechless when I told him everything about my first meeting with Ansell, William’s fake death rumor, my auction Ansell’s treatment, the truth and me leaving him at the end.
H just listened to me intently without questing anything but he was all ears to me.
I felt relieved to tell him all this because it was like a burden on my heart especially when he was thinking about his life with me.
Along with a mentor, he is my good friend as well and I could share things with him without the fear of getting judged.
“Since then I have shut the doors to my heart, not allowing anyone to make its way inside”
A long silence followed my words. He seems lost in my story, his mind replying things I said.
“Do you still love Ansell?” He asked finally breaking his silence.
He was silent while I was telling him the whole story of my life but his one question was enough to make me go silent.
Drawing a deep breath, I gulped down.
“I do”
My answer froze him for a second but he blinked multiple times and composed himself as if he was expecting it.
“From the day I understood the meaning of love and attraction, Ansell became my everything. I always used to imagine him as my life partner be in reality or in dreams. He was in my mind every second. I wanted to spend every day of my life only with him and because of that I never even looked at any other male no matter how much he cared for me” I gulped. “And when I got Ansell he tortured me so much that I stopped believing in love”
I saw a very subtle change in his expression as if he understood what i wanted to say even without saying everything.
“The only man whom I have loved my teenage and young age is Ansell. No one before him and no one after him”
I sighed.
“No matter how bad he has done to me, still I have a soft corner for the old Ansell for whom I fell so hard that I became blind to see other boys. I am not sure about him but it was my true love and I still can’t see him getting hurt. While giving the punishment to him, I myself have also burnt in the first of separation ”
I learned back.
“I have never told this to anyone but as you have put forward the offer of marriage that’s why I am opening up to you. I don’t want any filters in between us. And I know that no man can accept a partner whose heart belongs to someone else ”
He cocked his head.
“I have told you everything about my past, about my heart. Now the decision is yours whether you want to accept me with all this or not. Jayden is asking for a father and this is what is forcing me to decide on marriage ”
I know that after listening to my story he would surely take his steps back.
“So you are marrying me for the sake of Jayden?” He asked.
“I will not lie to you Marvin but I would have never thought of even marrying if Jayden hadn’t asked for a father and I didn’t need someone to give him a good and secure future. I already planned to stay alone but the circumstances are not as such. And I am not forcing me and Jayden over you ”
“I already told you that if we get married I will give all the love of the father to Jayden but what about this marriage?”
I blinked up at him. I thought that he would take his offer back.
“If I marry you then I promise that I have I’ll fulfill all my duties as a wife” I said.
“I don’t want a partner only to fulfill physical desires. I would have married anyone if that was the case”
I closed my eyes and nodded my head.
“I understand Marvin. You put forward the offer of marriage in front of me and I have told you everything about my past and what I could of you in exchange for this marriage. I am not forcing you for anything. It is completely your wish what you want to do” I said in a soft tone, understanding his side as well.
I don’t want to become selfish. I don’t want him to think that I ruined his life in the future.
“Nara, I didn’t come to know when I fell so hard for you. I could do anything for your happiness. You smile rarely but whenever you do and that’s because of a compliment”
He sighed.
“My offer is still open and I really want you to accept it but…”
My forehead frowned.
“But only if you are ready to forget your past and move on”
I gulped.
“You cannot stay at a point. You either have to go back or move forward. If you want to move forward, I am here for you but you have to promise that you will try your best to forget about Ansell and try to open your heart to me”
That’s like an an impossible task for me. But I have already promised Jayden to give him a father, my family would never accept Ansell. For Jayden, I would have to do it as well.
Without thinking much, I nodded.
I need to move forward in my life or my past would only make me hollow from inside.
“Order something” he passed the menu towards me.
“Umm, I would have but Jayden is waiting for me” I said.
His eyes were telling me that didn’t want to just let me go but for the sake of Jayden, he nodded his head.
Waving a small bye to him, I picked my clutch and came out of the cafe.
I had made such a big decision in my life and I should be happy about it but I don’t know why I am feeling a heavy weight on my heart. It seems like I am leaving something at my back.
Jayden…
I need to reach Jayden.
He is my only source of relief and happiness.
I was about to open the door to my car when a hand rested on mine. Zaps of electricity ran through my body when it felt familiar. I don’t need to look up to know who it was.
“You made your decision?” He spoke from behind.
I didn’t turn around to look at him but he knows that I have sensed him.
,”Yes” I stated.
“What is it?’ he was standing so close that I could hear his heartbeat as his chest was near to my ear.
“I am grateful to you for saving my son’s life. You were my past and I don’t think it necessary to tell you everything about my future”
I was about to swat away his hand when he suddenly grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. He pushed my back against the car and pressed his palms on both the side of my body. It gets difficult for me every time he comes close.
My eyes snapped up at him as his green orbs stared directly into my soul. They held pure pain and anger which he was trying to hide and suppress.
He must be pissed off that I went to meet Marvin in private but it was not for the first time that I was alone with Marvin. It hand happened multiple times in the office and this is where I developed trust in him.
“Don’t be grateful for saving Jayden’s life because you accept it or not, he is my son. I haven’t done any favour to you and is about your past. Yes, I am your past but I also want to be your future ”
Suddenly his eyes softened as his hands reached out to cup my face.
“A beautiful future”
His touch was shooting and I had to keep my back strong to not lean into him. My heart is saying that he has changed but my brain is still afraid that he might repeat the past.
I know the old Ansell is back but the devil Ansell could come anytime as well.
“I imagine a beautiful future with you and it turned out so ugly, I don’t want to go through that again” I spoke.
Ansell drew a deep breath.
“I understand your anger towards me, but please Nara, give me one chance ”
. Closing my eyes, I turned my head away. I just don’t want to get drawn away.
“Look into my eyes and tell me that you are not doing it under pressure ”
He grabbed my chin as he forced me to open my eyes but I couldn’t.
“If you are doing this with your own will and your happiness lies in this then I will not come it between your happiness”
My eyes opened.
“I will leave you and go so far that not even my shadow will fall on you ”
I blinked. In his eyes, I could see that he meant every word he said.
“But first I want to make sure that you are happy”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as tried his hardest to control his emotions.
Even after enduring all the pain and torture, it feels like I am the one who is doing wrong with him. It seems like he has changed and my heart is asking me to give him one last chance.
“I f you decide so I will come to attend your wedding with Marvin to wish you a happy married life and after that, I will never show my face to you ever again ”
My eyes closed on their own. As much as I want him to disappear from my life but now he is back, the thought of him going away hurts me.
“I hope you will forgive me then”
Suddenly his touch was gone and when I opened my eyes, he was not there..