This time he didn’t need to push me inside the car, as I myself settled inside when he opened the door.
The journey home was silent as I kept looking outside the window, my brother’s condition traumatizing me, especially when I knew he was not guilty.
I thought he would not let me sit silently but he gave me space, at least by the time we reached home.
When the car stopped in front of his house I stepped down and went straight to the room because I knew there was no escaping.
“”I am giving you ten minutes. Go and wash your face and use this time to prepare yourself for what is coming next. I don’t want to have you in this condition and feel like I am raping you!” He stated before disappearing from the room.
But I knew that he would be back exactly after ten minutes.
He is not going to leave me today. Alone in the bathroom, I splashed water on my face, looking at my reflection in the mirror. The person staring back at me seemed foreign as if the incident had transformed me into someone unrecognisable.
My eyes were red and hollow, drained of the determination and defiance I once held. I didn’t want to surrender to him, but the fear for my brother’s life had shattered my strength. I am not sure if I would be able to get my pride back or not.
Taking deep breaths, I prepared myself for what was coming next. That’s something that is inevitable and I was have to hold on to the little strength left in me to face that because I myself have agreed to it. There is no turning around now.
As I stepped out of the bathroom, he was not in the room. My legs had already given up and my body barely had any energy so I sat on the edge of the bed.
Then suddenly I heard the locking sound of the door which was followed by footsteps and without turning back I was sure that he was back. I could hear my heart thumping in my chest as he sat beside me and his face dipped into the crook of my neck.
Goosebumps rose on my skin when he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his body.
“Why are you angry with me?” His words brushed against my ear, his breath sending a tingle across my skin. “You should be relieved that your brother is alive”
I had been suppressing my tears, but his mention of my shoulder conjured his image in my mind, and my emotions threatened to break free. Tears welled up, my eyes stinging and my nose tingling with the sensation.
A low sob escaped my throat and the tear slipped down my eye while my head was still turned to the other side.
“Why are you crying?” His fingers turned my face to meet his gaze, pinching my cheeks gently. “You got ready for this on your own. Right?” He asked.
I nodded because I knew that he was expecting an answer from me. Suddenly, he leaned forward and sucked the tears from my cheek.
“I don’t want to feel like I am forcing you. One more year from you eye and I will make your brother cry ten tears. He will pay for every year that spills down your eyes ” his warning only shuddered my heart. His voice was calm and low but it held enough of a threat.
As if the damage that he has already done is not enough that he wants to inflict more pain upon us.
His words silenced my sob but didn’t help with the storms of emotions whirling inside me. His lips reached out to the other cheek and he sucked the tears from that cheek as well.
“I want you to cry in pain and pleasure only when I am inside you” he murmured against my skin before moving back and brushing his nose against me. “You get me?”
When I didn’t respond, he grabbed my chin painfully.
“You got me?” He asked again and his eyes held so much terror that I nodded my head.
“Words, Tereso, words. I want you to reply to me in words.” His eyes word was dripping with warnings and threats.
“Tes-tes” I spoke softly and the word was barely audible.
His hold on my chin loosened and his finger lifted it slightly up, making me look deep into his eyes. For the first time, I was scared of those pairs of green orbs.
“For the last time, I am giving you a chance to rethink your decision, you know” he kicked his lips, “If you want, we can go back to your brother and…”
“No please” I wiped my cheeks from the back of my palm as I gulped down the emotions forming in my throat. “I am here with my own consent. I want you ” I spoke the words that he wanted to hear.
“Good, because I have been warning for this moment for years. And I don’t want you to spoil it for me” now he was talking so softly as if nothing had happened a few minutes ago.
“I want you to love me just the way you used to imagine when I used to visit your home” he said, speaking against my lips with amusement in his eyes.
“I got willingly to give you my body but I can never give you that love again. You strangled it with your own hands” I stated the fact.
He drew a deep breath, placing his forehead against mine. At that moment, it seemed like I saw a flick of vulnerability passing through his eyes as if he regretted the things that happened between us in the wrong way but his next words proved my assumption wrong.
“It’s ok, one day, when you will understand that there is no one for you except me, that day you will accept me with your whole heart” he said. “But for now, I am content that you are here in my arms, completely mine. And tonight, I will finally claim you” the side of his lip twitched. “And do everything to you that I have imagined”
I could hear the excitement in his voice. He placed a kiss on my cheek while his fingers worked to unbotton my shirt. I didn’t stop him this time.
His lips crashed over mine as his hands worked to take my shirt off my body. His tongue traced my lower lip, asking for entrance, and when I didn’t part my lips, he harshly squeezed my bosom. I let out a painful moal and his tongue pushed inside my mouth, dominating the kiss.
I am not sure when he will be done with me or whether I will be alive or not.
He moaned loudly as his tongue explored my mouth with hunger and possession. I was trying my best to keep my tears under control.
“Kiss me back” he growled, pulling his head back for a second.
I tried moving my lips against him, not out of desire or will but out of fear and his order. I didn’t want to arouse his beast, which could kill me with his brutality.
After a few minutes, he pulled back. He was panting heavily but he didn’t stop even for a second to catch his breath. Standing up, he picked me up in his arms and made me lay in the middle of the bed; my shirt was already long gone.
Standing beside the bed, he unbuttoned his shirt slowly without moving his gaze away from me. And then, with one swift move, he removed his shirt, giving me a good view of his bare chest. The budge of his muscles and the way his shoulder moved and twisted would have made any girl fall for him but right now all I wanted was for him to leave me alone.
But I know tonight God is not going to listen to me.
Next, he unbuttoned his belt, allowing his pants to drop to the floor. With a swift movement, he kicked them aside as he joined me on the bed. He crawled and hovered above me.
He was moving slowly, as if relishing every moment, while I was dying from inside.
I always wanted my first time to be with him, but definitely not in this way. I imagined such a beautiful life for us but he ruined everything. He had shattered me in ways I couldn’t fathom, leaving me wia deep-seated distrust that I doubted I would ever overcome. If I managed to get free from him, I don’t think that I would ever be able to trust any other man.
Suddenly, the expression on his face shifted from that of softness to anger. He grabbed the bedsheets tightly, his eyes bored into mine with chilling intensity.
“Don’t think about any other male when I am with you! Only I possess your thoughts, your soul, your heart, your eyes, your breath, your body, everything”
He breathed.
“You are my possession, my Tereso”
He surely has obsessive compulsive disorder and I am scared of that.
Unable to stand the wrath that was emanating from his body, I tilted my head away from him, not wanting to see him anymore. He reminds me of the pain of my brother.
Suddenly he grabbed my jaw in painful grip and turned my head with so much force that for a second I thought that I had a sprain.
A small yelp left my lips but he didn’t give me even a second to react.
“Look at me” he settled, his face just an inch away from mine. “When I am with you, your eyes should only look at me, your lips should take only my name and your brain should think only about me”
It seems like I was with a complete stranger. He was never like this. I was practically shivering inside, wanting to hide somewhere but still, I tried to stay still.
After a few seconds, his grip on my jaw loosened and my body relaxed a bit.
“Do you remember Ricky from your class?” He asked all of a sudden, taking me by surprise.
Ricky?
My mind was so occupied with my own thoughts that I struggled to remember any such name or boy.
“It’s nice because I don’t want you to remember any boy from your past, but still, let me give you a hint about him” he smiled, his expression shifting from angry to devilish. “The one who got hit by a volleyball on his head back and got injured badly” his face was just above me as he spoke.
“Yes”
I wasn’t getting why he was dragging him here. What’s the meaning of that?
“It was me who hit him”? he confessed.
My eyes widened at the revelation, and there was not even one percent of regret in his voice while telling me about this crime.
“Wh-why?” I stuttered.
As far as I remember, Ricky was a nice guy. Why did he do something like that to him?
But the thing he told me left me completely stunned.