NERTHUS
“I have everything! I can pay for everything!” I empty my stupidly small wallet, letting drop all the cards and my small change onto the counter. “Just save him! I can pay for everything he needs!”
The nurse behind the counter lays her hand on mine, stopping my panicky rambling. “Ma’am, please. You were injured as well. We checked your credit score, we received your upfront payment, and I can assure you that he is treated by our best surgeons. Now please let this nice nurse take you to your operation room as well.”
Gesturing to me to wait by lifting a finger, she picks up the phone. “No! No! I don’t need any surgery. I need to know that my baby is being operated on by the best surgeon in the country! Fly him in if possible.”
“Ma’am! Ma’am!” The nurse standing next to me gets my attention on her, allowing her colleague to talk on the phone in peace. “He is already in surgery. Flying in another surgeon won’t help him. Now please, sit down in that wheelchair, and let us treat you as well. Also, wouldn’t you like to get something fresh to wear? Maybe we can call someone for you while you freshen up?”
I look down at my shaking hands that are covered in blood and move them to my stomach, clenching my blouse. “I don’t need to freshen up. I need you to send in more surgeons.”
“Ma’am,” she says again, staring me down. “More surgeons wouldn’t help him. They are doing everything to save him.”
Another nurse comes to stand next to me. He towers over me as he crosses his hand before his lap, and I decide to give in to the nice nurse. I sob, letting myself slump into the wheelchair devastated. I’m already biting the gel off my nails as she leans in. “We also have gotten hold of his guardian. And he is a lucky boy with you two. He is getting la creme de la creme of surgeons already. Believe me! Even the heads of the department have been torn out of bed to be in the operation room.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, my body feeling heavy from exhaustion.
***
I can’t think of a moment in my life when I cried so much.
As the doctors were trying to start my treatment and came to put me under anesthesia, I totally freaked out.
I didn’t want to miss a second of the next hours as I feared that I could miss his last moments.
What if he woke up, all alone and I was still passed out, recovering from the anesthesia?
“Ma’am, listen, we are going to do an X-ray to see if we can put you through an MRI, so if it looks fine, we can go through with local anesthesia and you will be with us all the time. But you have to let us treat your wounds.” A young doctor crouches down to me desperately.
I nod, wiping the tears out of my face.
“I know that it is difficult, but you have to be treated as well. I’ll do everything as quickly as possible, okay?” He smiles encouragingly, and I nod again.
After getting through an insane amount of tests, scans, and taking blood samples, I finally get clearance to get my wounds stitched under local anesthesia.
Danny is in surgery during all this time and I feel every second as if it was an hour, my heart crumpling more and more in my chest.
After my doctor has patched me up, I ask to be discharged immediately, already slipping back into my blood-stained leather jacket.
“Okay, okay.” The doctor sighs, signing a receipt for painkillers for me on his clipboard before ripping it off to hand it to me. “You were very lucky. But please promise that you’ll come back in case you feel unwell.”
“Yeah, sure,” I say, collecting my things hastily. “Thank you for everything, doc.”
Clenching my jaw at the pain stinging in my arm, I burst out of the room. I halt in my tracks as my eyes fall on Arawn who is standing at the end of the hallway.
He is talking to another distressed doctor as he spots me. His eyes are glassy, his features distorted from anger, and his hair is ruffled as if he spent his time passing his hands through his hair.
My heart hurts so much at seeing him, and at the same time, I feel happy about finally getting to see him. My legs start moving automatically, reaching him even if fear risks strangling me.
I fear the moment of his wrath as I disregarded his rules, putting everyone in danger.
But as I started walking, he tears himself from his conversation too, walking towards me to meet me halfway.
“I’m so sorry,” I breathe out as I’m finally standing in front of him, bracing myself for whatever he wants to shout at me.
But he doesn’t talk, and just wraps his arms around me, engulfing me with his warmth.
He sighs deeply as he hugs me closer, and I ignore the pain in my shoulder to hold his strong arms. “God, I’m so glad you’re okay. They wouldn’t let me in to see you.”
“I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault! They were hurt because of me… Danny… He…” He catches me as I slump in his arms, finally giving in to my exhaustion.
***
I feel incredibly light as I step into the sterile hospital room.
Danny is smiling brightly as I near the bed, clenching the cold metal of its frame. “How are you feeling?”
“Awesomely,” he chuckles, his feet moving under the blanket. “How are you feeling?”
I nod, grimacing as I try to hold back my tears. “I’m fine.”
He spreads his arms, wiggling with his fingers as his smile gets brighter. “Come here! Everything is alright!”
Stepping next to his bed, I walk into his embrace, shedding a few tears as he rocks me from one side to the other. “I’m fine, really!”
Breaking out of his hold, I wipe my eyes, freeing them from my tears as I nod happily. “I’m so sorry. If we had stayed in that stupid house.”
He shakes his head, “Nah, they were waiting for us. It wouldn’t have helped a bit. Maybe they just would have gotten a better aim at you. So, I’m happy it happened this way.”
I sob, burying my face into my hands, and he reaches out, caressing my arm soothingly. “Don’t be sad, Nerthus. I’m not feeling any pain.”
“But it is just…” I stop abruptly, looking up as he is still smiling at me. “How did you just call me?”
He shakes his head without losing his smile, “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m just sorry that I caused you so much sorrow.”
“What?” I ask breathlessly as a constant ringing takes over in my ears. Clawing down on his bed, I try to blink against the light that takes over the room, blinding me.
I jolt up, inhaling deeply as I sit up in my hospital bed.
Pain shoots through me, not able to overpower the pain streaming from my heart.
“Nerthus,” I hear Arawn call my name decisively, making my thrashing stop to look up at him. “I’m here. You are safe.”
He looks horrible, his eyes are red, and his skin is so pale that it is nearly gray. I sob, reaching out to touch his arms, not caring about the tugging of the tubes against my skin or the stinging pain at the movement of my shoulder. “Where is my baby?”
My raspy throat produces a sound that makes my voice seem as if it were someone else who spoke, and he caresses a strand of hair out of my face. “Still in surgery. Sleep. When you wake up tomorrow morning, we can go see him. Okay?”
I shake my head, clawing down on him as my panic rises again. “You have to go check on him. Arawn! Please go check on him.”
Suddenly, a nurse bursts into the room, pushing me back into my bed.
I start sobbing and screaming again, pleading with them to check on Danny as he obviously came to say goodbye.
“I’ll give you something to make you feel better,” she says in an angelic voice as Arawn keeps me pushed into my pillow.
“My baby! Please, not my baby,” I whimper just as my consciousness slips away from me.