CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
ALEX DAVALO
To love or not to?
My mother had sent for me that evening. I was a bit scared. I thought she had summoned me to make her death wish. Her sickness was already at the point where whatever hope we were holding on to was already falling off… I knew that kind of illness wouldn’t just fade away; it was going to eat her up until there was nothing left of her. It whispered the truth in every tearful moment. I felt the weight of the coming conversation pressing in on me as the cool evening air pried at the door of our home. As I stepped inside, I could feel a sense of dread creeping up my spine.
As I approached her chamber, I took a deep breath, letting the familiar scents of our pack fill my lungs. The old wood, the smell of cedar and earth, all mixed with burnt leaves-proof of the healer’s crude efforts to cure her. I entered the room hesitantly. An old man with gray hair and wrinkles deeper than the forest’s shadows stood by her bedside, frowning at the remains of herbs that lined the table.
“Alex,” my mother’s voice was weak but still held the strength of a leader. “Could you please ask the healer to leave?”
I frowned slightly. “Are you sure, Mother? He might-”
“I want to speak to you alone,” she interjected, her tone leaving no room for argument.
The healer looked between us, doubt clinging to the air like smoke. He bowed his head and slowly gathered his things. “If you need anything, I’ll be right outside,” he said, his voice gravelly.
Another healer who had failed to work his magic on her!
I’ve lost count of the number!
As he stepped out, I felt the heavy silence settle around us like a thick fog. The walls felt too close as if they were absorbing the tension in the room. I walked over to her bed, where she lay nestled under thick blankets, her once-vibrant face now pale.
I sat beside her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder. “Mother, are you okay?” I asked, anxiety bubbling inside me like a caged beast.
It doesn’t make any sense to ask her if she was!
But I was just trying to stay positive!
You can’t blame me too much!
She smiled weakly, that same smile I had known all my life, even when it held a trace of sadness. “I feel good,” she said softly, but I could see her frail body struggling against her disease.
“You sent for me,” I reminded her, hoping to switch the topic. It felt safer than the punishing reminder that time was the one thing I didn’t have much with her.
“I did,” she acknowledged, her eyes drifting to the ceiling as if seeking answers in the cracks above. She turned her gaze back to me, and in that moment, worry surged through me like a storm. My mother only looked at me that way when something important was about to be said…
Or if I had crossed the line!
“Is this about your health, mother?” I asked, breaking the silence that felt sharper than any blade.
She shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening with something heavier than tears. Her voice trembled a bit as she spoke again. “I’m worried about you and your brother, Alex.”
My heart sank. It was going to be about that. I shifted uncomfortably, the weight of her gaze forcing me to lower mine. “What do you mean?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I called you alone,” she said, “because I believe you are more mature than Sandro. I need you to tell me the truth, my son.”
“About what, Mother?” I felt my stomach twist. I was already too aware of the truth we had been hiding.
“The truth about your supposed mates, Bethany and Lara.” Her voice was firm now, yet kind. “I know you have been lying to your father and me. But don’t worry, I’m not mad at any of you; I won’t tell him anything until you both are ready to. I will take it with me to my grave. I just want the truth, Alex.”
Her words hit me like a slap across the face. I suddenly felt trapped between two painful choices. I wanted to deny it, to feign ignorance and say I knew nothing about what she was saying, but a part of me didn’t want my mother to die believing in a lie we had told her.
I hesitated, my throat dry. “How did you find out, Mother?” My curiosity overpowered my fear.
“Sandro does better at lying,” she said with a hint of disappointment. “But you, Alex, you have never been a good liar; you are nowhere near one. I noticed it the second day you brought Bethany home. There was something wrong about the way you behaved, the way she responded to our questions. Your father was too excited to see through her words.”
I felt the heat flush my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, ashamed.
“Why?” she asked. “Why did you lie to us that they were your mates?” The pain in her voice cut deeper than I expected.
I took a deep breath, the truth spilling out before I could think too much. “Sandro and I… we’re scared, Mother. We’re scared about finding our true mates. Imagining being bound to one person for the rest of our lives makes us feel trapped. It’s not a journey we think we can embark on, really”
“Is that what you think?” she asked, looking like she wasn’t bought over by my carefully crafted words.
“It’s what we know.”
She laughed softly, the kind of laugh that surprised me. It felt strange like she was amused by my confession, yet I felt foolish. “It’s not funny, Mother,” I said, my voice rising just a bit. I couldn’t let her think I didn’t know what I was saying.
“I know, Alex. I know it’s not,” she replied, still smiling. The dim light caught her eyes, making them sparkle, even in such a somber moment.
“There’s something I want to teach you,” she said suddenly, her voice steady as a mountain. “Hold my hand.”
I extended my hand, feeling her warmth as she grasped it tightly. There was a glow in her eyes that spoke of hope. “When you find the one you truly love,” she began slowly, “no one else will matter. Not the fear of being trapped, not the worries about the future. Love, Alex, is powerful. It is stronger than a wolf’s bite. It can heal, even though my fate is pretty much sealed”
“Can someone like me, a ruthless wolf, really love and be loved in return?” I questioned, feeling vulnerable. Her words had caught me cold.
“There is no alpha as ruthless as your father,” she replied, reminding me what I already knew, “yet he fell in love with me. Love does not judge, Alex. It takes you the way you are”
As she spoke, I felt my chest tighten, and a tear slipped down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting her to see me cry, yet her eyes didn’t miss the gesture.
“Even the strongest cry, Alex,” she said gently, reading my heart like an open book. “Let it drop; you’re not weak.”
I looked away, trying to compose myself, but my heart ached with a mixture of fear and understanding. “I don’t want to lose you,” I admitted, my voice trembling.
She squeezed my hand tighter, her pulse steady. “Then live honestly. Don’t hide from the truth. When the time comes and you find your mate, don’t let fear drive you away from her, for you may never find her again. You will feel a connection so deep that you will understand what I’m saying.”
I nodded, trying to absorb her words even as my doubts threatened to drown me. “What if I’m not ready?” I asked.
“It will never feel like the perfect moment. Just like life, love has its timing.” Her voice was soft, but each word struck like a chisel, carving its way into my heart.
“I’ll try,” I said. “For you.”
She smiled softly. “That’s all I can ask, Alex. Just remember, my son, you are stronger than you think, and love is worth every fear. Trust your heart.”
I melted at her words, determined to make her proud. I reached out, unsure if I could embrace the idea of love, but willing to try. Just for her. As I looked into her eyes, I silently promised myself that when the time came for Sandro and me to find our true mates, I would not hide again.
In that moment, I realized what I wanted even more than anything: to honor my mother’s legacy and love with all my heart.
But will there ever be a time I’ll be ready?