Emotions

Chapter Twenty
Hunter’s POV
As the door slammed shut behind Caleb, I stood there, fists clenched, struggling to maintain my anger.
His defiance irritated me, but there was something else that ate at me… a feeling I refused to acknowledge.
He had no right to interfere, especially not when it came to my business. And yet, I couldn’t shake off the anger that continued to boil inside me, not just at him, but at myself.
I turned my gaze back to Faelen, who was standing there, trembling slightly, the handkerchief clutched tightly in her hand.
Her long red hair covered most of her face, and those gorgeous wide eyes of hers… always so full of fear, always making me feel… something I didn’t want to feel.
Her presence there weakened me, more than I cared to admit. “Why do you have to make things so difficult, huh?” I muttered under my breath, more to myself than to her.
My words came out louder than I intended, but I didn’t care. I needed to regain control, to stamp back my dominance and remind myself and everyone else that I was the Alpha… and Faelen was just a mere servant.
Faelen didn’t respond. She stood there silently, her eyes looking down, but I could see the tears almost spilling from her eyes all over again.
Damn Caleb. He had no business getting involved, no business giving her that stupid handkerchief, making this harder than it needed to be.
I took a step toward her, my frustration bubbling to the surface. “Look at me,” I commanded, my voice cold and sharp.
She hesitated, but then slowly lifted her gaze to meet mine. There it was again… that vulnerability, that softness that seemed to haunt my mind.
It made me furious, made me want to break her just to prove I could. But as I stared into her eyes, something inside me shifted.
I could see her fear, her pain, and the confusion in her, and it struck a chord in me that I didn’t want to admit.
Why did she have this much effect on me? No ever did. Why did I feel this unbearable pull toward her, this need to take her and destroy her all at once?
“You think you can just walk around wherever you please, huh?” I sneered, my voice dripping with the cruelty in my words. “And you think I wouldn’t notice? I don’t believe your little stupid story about gathering herbs for a second!”
Faelen’s eyes widened, and she shook her head slightly, as if to protest, but no words came out. Her silence only increased my anger, my need to assert control over this situation, over her.
“Answer me!” I snapped, stepping closer, my presence hovering over her. She flinched but finally found her voice, though it was barely more than a whisper.
“I… I’m sorry, Alpha,” she stammered. “I swear, I was only doing what I was told. I didn’t mean to…”
“Didn’t mean to what?!” I cut her off, my patience fading. “To snoop around where you don’t belong? To lie to my face?!” I yelled.
Her lips trembled, and for a brief moment, I saw the hurt in her eyes. It made my chest tighten in a way I didn’t understand, and I hated it.
I hated that she made me feel this way every time, no matter how hard I ignored it. She made me question myself, made me feel… weak.
“No, Alpha, I…” she started again, but I waved her off, not wanting to hear any more of her excuses.
“Enough,” I said, with a low voice. “You’re going to stay here until I decide what to do with you. Don’t think for a second that you can play games with me and get away with it.”
She nodded quickly, her tears finally spilling and flowing over her cheeks, and for a brief moment, I wanted to reach out, to wipe them away, to tell her not to cry… But no. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
I turned my back on her, trying to steady my breathing, trying to push down the storm of emotions that were threatening to suffocate me within.
Oh God. Why did she have to be so… so damn beautiful? She felt… so much more than just a servant.
I heard her sobs behind me, and it took everything in me not to turn back, not to become soft. But I couldn’t afford that.
I was the ruthless Alpha, who didn’t accept weakness in any way. I couldn’t now show weakness, not to her or to anyone.
Caleb’s words sounded in my mind as I thought about what he’d said. A reminder of what I was doing, of how far I’d strayed from the man I should be.
I shoved those thoughts aside, burying them deep down where they couldn’t reach me. “Stay here,” I then ordered. “And don’t try anything stupid.”
Without waiting for a response, I walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. As I walked down the hallway, my anger still beneath the surface, I couldn’t shake the image of her teary face from my head.
“Shit!” I cursed under my breath, knowing that no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, Faelen was getting under my skin in a way I couldn’t ignore.
And it terrified me.
I turned and returned to the room, my heart still pounding from the argument with Caleb. I pushed the door open and stepped inside, letting it close behind me with a heavy thud.
The sight of Faelen, trembling in the corner, greeted me. Her eyes were wide, her body tense as if she were preparing herself for whatever torment she thought I had in store for her.
I wanted to scream, to lash out at her, hit her or do something…. just to rid myself of the growing conflict inside me. But instead, I walked over to the table, poured myself a drink, and downed it in one go.
The burn of the liquor did little to calm the storm inside me though. Pouring a second glass, I sipped it, then placed it down. I then let out a deep sigh.
Turning around, I reached for a grape from the pile of fruits on the table and tossed it into my mouth as if it could somehow distract me from the reality of what was happening now.
I glanced over at where Faelen stood again. She was still shivering, still looking at me with those fearful eyes. Even in her disheveled state, with tear-soaked cheeks and hair falling over her face, she was stunning.
Easily the prettiest woman I had ever seen in terms of physical beauty, without a doubt. And I’d seen more than my share of beautiful women.
But that was the problem, wasn’t it? No matter how much I tried to deny it, tried to convince myself that she was nothing more than a servant girl… something inside me refused to let it go.
I was drawn to her, and the pull was getting stronger by the day. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to focus on something else. Anything else.
No way I would let her see how much she was affecting me. I couldn’t let anyone see. Standing up, I walked over to the bed, keeping my back to her as I tried to gather my thoughts.
After sitting down, I pointed at the food and fruits on the table, not bothering to look at her. “Eat,” I said, my voice coming out calmer than I intended.
She didn’t move. I could sense her hesitation, her fear, and it only added to my frustration. Did she think this was some kind of trick? That I was testing her, waiting for her to slip up so I could punish her?
Turning to face her, “Eat!” I barked, louder this time and meaning it.
Faelen flinched, the fear in her eyes intensifying, and it made me hate myself just a little bit more. Slowly, as if she were afraid I might strike her at any moment, she approached the table.
Her hands shook as she reached for a piece of bread, tearing off a small chunk and nibbling on it like a frightened animal.
I watched her, feeling a strange mix of emotions that I couldn’t even begin to understand. Now there was something about the way she ate… so carefully, but so desperately… that struck a chord within me.
She was starving, and not just for food. For something else. Safety, maybe. Or kindness. But that wasn’t something I could give her. Or maybe I could, but it wasn’t something I was willing to give.
That would make me look weak, vulnerable. And having such strong reputation, I couldn’t afford to be either of those things. Not with everything that was at stake.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. This was ridiculous. She was a servant girl, nothing more.
I needed to stop letting her get under my skin, stop letting her make me question myself. I was the Alpha, for God’s sake!