He attempted to walk away, but I held his arm, blocking his path. “We can’t leave this conversation unfinished,” I said, my tone serious and filled with curiosity. “Is there something I don’t know?”
Gently, he dislodged himself from my grip; his eyes had lost their sparkle, dulling to a serious gaze. “Sarah, there are things that are too painful to talk about…” he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
I felt a pang in my chest, sensing the depth of his emotional turmoil. His words hung in the air like a challenge, beckoning me to probe further.
“What happened?” I asked, my voice softer.
He hesitated, his eyes scanning the surrounding area as if searching for an escape route. “Some wounds never heal,” he whispered, his gaze drifting back to mine.
I held his gaze, determined to uncover the truth. “Share it with me,” I urged, my tone gentle yet persistent.
He sighed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of his words. “I can’t right now, or do you want to see the dejected side of me?” he said, his voice laced with caution. “Don’t press further, okay?”
My mind began racing with possibilities. Is there something bigger than what I already knew? Perhaps is it related to Nicole or… I don’t know… I can’t keep guessing; I need answers.
I snapped out of my thoughts and met his gaze, attempting to hurl another question, but he silenced me. His eyes returned to their usual warm shade as he stroked my shoulders.
“You have a lot of questions, I know, but you will get them eventually,” he flashed me a wry smile, his hands sliding down my shoulders. “I’ll be back soon with Mom; please make breakfast for her… light meal, okay?” he instructed, backing away slowly.
I gave a curt nod, his ambiguous words still weighing on my mind. They lingered, probing me to delve deeper to find out everything about him. But the hint of evasiveness in his eyes only made it difficult to probe further.
I’ve noticed something unsettling in his gaze from the moment I moved in; there was a hint of secrecy lurking in his eyes, but he masked it with a gentle smile and sometimes a stern face, yet it was still obvious.
I let out a sigh and strode to the kitchen, brushing off the daunting thoughts, as I knew I wouldn’t get answers until he gave them willingly, and I wanted to respect his boundaries.
*****
“Miss Ross!” I exclaimed, my arms spread apart as I sprinted across the room. With a wide smile, I enveloped her in a warm embrace, my eyes crinkling at the corners as I swayed my body, rocking her gently.
She hugged me back with equal fervor, swaying her body along with me, letting out a soft chuckle.
“Oh, Sarah…” she said, her voice barely audible.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” I pulled away as my eyes wandered all over her.
She smiled back as her eyes sparkled with warmth. We stood there for a moment, basking in the warmth of our reunion while Mr. Clinton had his hand dipped in his pocket, watching us with a slight smile.
“I was so worried about you,” I confessed, my voice filled with emotion.
Miss Ross’s smile softened, her eyes misting over. “I know you must have been scared to death, just like Xavier.” She chuckled in between her words, glancing at Mr. Clinton.
As he met his mother’s gaze, he looked away, masking his face with a serious expression.
I shook my head, my smile still firmly in place. “Yeah, he panicked. It was actually the first time I saw him like that.” I chuckled, tossing him a mocking glance.
His lips twitched as he avoided my gaze, yet amidst that facade, a small smile tugged at his lips.
What a man…
I smirked, my eyes piercing into him as if willing him to admit to his fears of yesterday.
“Stop staring at me,” he spat, his voice low and playful, but his eyes still avoided mine.
I grinned mischievously. “Can’t help it. You’re too hilarious when you’re flustered.”
Miss Ross chuckled, her eyes shining with amusement. “Xavier doesn’t like being teased.”
He shot her a mock-glare, but his lips curled into a smile. “Mother, please don’t push it, okay? You already have an idea of how scared I was.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I even had to calm him down. But he still couldn’t stop worrying,” I chuckled, throwing my hand over my mouth.
His gaze met mine, a spark of amusement dancing in his eyes. “What a liar.”
Miss Ross and I burst into laughter, our giggles filling the room as Mr. Clinton just walked away, his eyes narrowing in mock annoyance.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that…” I said softly, breaking the humor. “It’s partly my fault because Erin was trying to get back at me for…”
“It’s alright, dear,” she cut me off, her smile gentle. “Xavier briefed me on everything.”
We hugged again, this time more gently, the tension and worry of the past few days melting away.
As we pulled back, I noticed the faint lines of exhaustion etched on her face. “You must be tired,” I said, concern creeping into my voice.
Miss Ross nodded, her eyes drooping slightly. “A bit. It’s been a long day.”
I took her hand, leading her to the couch. “Sit down, rest. I’ll get you some tea.”
As I busied myself in the kitchen, Mr. Clinton burst in, his face softening into a gentle expression.
“Sarah, about our conversation from earlier,” he began, his voice warm and inviting. “I didn’t mean to shut you down. It’s just… some memories are hard to confront.”
I nodded in understanding, meeting his gaze. “It’s okay if you want to keep it to yourself, but you should remember that I still need to clarify the main reason among the many why you couldn’t allow yourself to move on… with me,” I replied, my hands instinctively reaching for his.
His gaze fell to our intertwined hands as his fingers clung to mine, his touch warm and reassuring, elevating my hopes. “Let me clarify…” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes locked on mine. “I’m more afraid of myself… of losing control again.” His voice cracked, his eyes haunted. “It isn’t just about your father and… Nicole. I can learn to forget her, but…” He paused, swallowing hard. “The memories of that night still haunt me.”
My eyes narrowed as my curiosity piqued. “What nig-”
He immediately interrupted me. “I know you’re going to ask, but I’m not ready to recount that event, but I’ll tell you this… it was my fault that Nicole and I divorced. I did… something terrible… very terrible…” he said, his eyes flashing with guilt as his voice subtly trembled.
Then his gaze drifted, his mind clearly elsewhere. My heart ached as I sensed the weight of his guilt. What the hell happened? I really want to know, but he was clearly afraid to narrate his experience to me, and it felt wrong to push his limits.