“If you’re going to the club dressed like that, then I’m coming with you.”
I turn to him sharply. “You will go with me, Logan, as what?”
He falls silent, not saying anything. “Answer me, Logan. You will go with me as what?” I hate being in this mood, especially with him. I know he’s as stubborn as a goat and won’t back down unless I give in to his demands.
But giving in is the least of my worries. I hope he understands if I choose a different approach-talking to him like the adult he is.
I swallow hard and close my eyes, my hands forming fists as I try to suppress the anger bubbling inside me. I need to stay sane to get away from Logan.
Slowly, I open my eyes and find him staring back at me. I can see regret in his eyes, along with emotions I can’t quite name.
I search his gaze, trying to understand the pain underneath his familiar eyes. Is he feeling guilt for how he’s treated me, or is it something deeper?
Taking a deep breath, I try to ground myself. This isn’t just about us anymore; it’s about Shawn, too. I can’t let our unresolved issues affect him.
I know he regrets putting me through that contract. It’s the reason we’re in this mess in the first place.
Stepping closer, I place my hand on his shoulder. I notice him tense, and sparks of familiarity erupt through me. I can’t help but feel tingling all over as I close my eyes, struggling to compose myself against the swell of emotions.
“Logan, you’ve been a constant presence in my life for years, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
I take a shaky breath. “I won’t regret knowing you, and I won’t regret entering that contract because if I did, I would have to regret Shawn.”
Tears begin to drip down my cheeks, and I don’t care about the makeup that will stain.
I wipe my eyes, trying to regain my composure. “I just want us to figure this out. For Shawn’s sake.” My voice trembles, but I push on. “We can’t keep pretending everything is fine when it’s not.”
“Logan, it’s time we go our separate ways and explore other people,” I continue, with a racing heart. “We’ve been going in circles without any real progress. Let me be free to date other men while you meet other women.”
I take a deep breath, searching his face for understanding. “Go out, have adventures, and do daring things-but not with me. If we both still feel that void after exploring, we can find our way back to each other. But for now, let me be me, and you be you.”
I manage a small smile, hoping he can see the sincerity in my words.
I can almost see the gears turning in his mind. I want him to grasp that this isn’t about pushing him away; it’s about giving us both the space to discover who we are outside of each other.
“I just…” he finally says, with a low voice. “I don’t want to lose you.”
A tightness grips my chest at his words, but I know this is part of the process. I search his eyes for a feeling of understanding. I need him to see that this is about growth, not goodbye.
“But I need to be myself again,” I say, with a steady voice. “I want to find my footing and return to what I love, without looking back at you.”
Logan sighs loudly, his shoulders relaxing just a bit. “Nadine, for how long? I can’t stand the thought of you with another man.”
He looks away, frustration on his face. “I can’t stand not being able to see you. It tears me apart knowing I should have you all to myself while you’re in someone else’s hands. Nadine, it will break me. I don’t know how I’ll manage.”
I take a deep breath, weighing his words. “Logan, I need you to trust me on this. It’s not easy for either of us, but holding on too tightly will only push us further apart.”
He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes flickering with conflict. “But what if we lose everything? What if you forget about me? Do you have any idea how crazy it was for me while you were in Canada? I know I’m paying for my mistakes, but it was hell.”
“Please, Logan, let’s do this for my sake and my sanity. It feels like I’m losing my mind.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel this way,” he says, his voice softening. “I want to make things right. That’s why I let go of the contract. It was a tough decision. I want to woo you like I should have all those years ago, instead of taking the easy way out.” he says with sincerity.
I look at him, searching for understanding. “Please, Logan.”
“For how long?” he asks with hope in his voice.
“For as long as it takes for me to find my sanity back,” I reply, with a heavy heart. “But I promise I’ll be cordial for Shawn’s sake.”
He looks at me one last time and shakes his head. “I can’t take it, Nadine, but I’ll try.” He steps closer and plants a soft kiss on my forehead before stepping back and heading to his car.
I stand there, my heart tugging in my chest as I watch him. He slides into the driver’s seat, resting his head against the steering wheel, staring into space. I don’t know how long I will remain there, but I can’t look away until he finally drives off.
As his car disappears, my thoughts spiral into a jumbled mess. I struggle to make sense of everything, and a headache begins to throb at my temples. The urge to go to the club flew off the air.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Why does it feel like I’m standing at a crossroads, torn between what I want and what I know I need? The kiss lingers on my forehead, but it also feels like a goodbye.
What if this is the right choice? I want to grow, to reclaim the parts of myself that have faded. Yet, the thought of Logan slipping away is unsettling. Can I truly move forward while he’s still in my heart?
I can’t ignore the heaviness in my mind as I realize how much I’ve lost sight of myself.
I slowly turn around and head inside the house, surprised to find Rosa standing in the hallway. She hasn’t moved from the spot where I left her.
She opens her mouth as if to say something, but I’m not in the mood to listen. I brush past her, annoyance bubbling up inside me, and make my way to my room.
Once there, I collapse onto my bed and cry my eyes out. My heart feels like it’s about to burst from my chest, heavy and constricted, making it hard to breathe. I feel myself drowning in an abyss of darkness, and it seems like there’s nowhere to turn.
I don’t know how long I cry, but eventually, I drift off to sleep. In my dreams, Logan appears at every turn.
I’ve never felt this way before-like I’m releasing something deep within me. The tension between us had always been palpable, but the last sex we had in his room awakened everything I thought was buried about Logan in my heart.
In my dreams, his smile is magnetic, drawing me in like a moth to a flame. I can see the way his eyes light up when he laughs; each moment feels vivid as if I’m reliving the best parts of us.
But then the dreams shift, turning bittersweet. I watch the distance grow between us, shadows creeping in. I wake up, my heart racing as reality hits.
Sitting up in bed, I take in the dim, silent room. The more I try to push him away, the more I feel him tugging at my heartstrings.
Suddenly, a message notification pops up on my phone: “I am on a mission to win you back, and I won’t back down until you’re mine again.”