“Marry me,” I stare at him, stunned, my mind reeling in shock. I didn’t see this coming, not at all.
Oh my goodness, have I led him on? Was it when I called him my boyfriend in front of Logan? Or when I casually mentioned we’ve been together for four years?
I slowly move away from him. Ethan’s eyes suddenly change, his expression changing to something I can’t quite put into words.
His gaze follows me, but I don’t know what to say. I try to wrap my head around this unexpected proposal.
“Fuck, I don’t know,” Ethan’s face looks frustrated.
“I know I’ve dreamt about marriage with you, but I didn’t mean to rush you by asking you to marry me all of a sudden when we haven’t even put a name to what we have. I know what I feel about you, but it hurts me when I see you lost in your thoughts whenever we’re together.”
I’m startled by his outburst, but I quickly regain my composure. I slowly place my finger on his lips to silence him, and he takes it into his mouth, sucking gently.
The sensation sends shivers down my spine as I look into his eyes. His gaze is intense, and I feel my heart skip a beat.
I take a deep breath, stating the facts. “Ethan, I know you’ve stayed with me for four years, and I’m honestly grateful for that. But this marriage thing… it’s a no-go area for me. I feel something for you, but it’s not strong enough to make me want to marry you.”
I watch his face, seeing the hope fade from him. But I need to be honest, I can’t lead him on, not when it comes to something as big as marriage.
Ethan’s eyes bore into mine. “You still love him, right?” he asks, in a low and husky voice, forcing me to answer the question I’ve been avoiding.
I hesitate, unsure of how to respond. But before I can answer, Ethan’s demeanor changes.
“Fucking answer my question!” he exclaims, his outburst startling me.
I take a step back, but he steps closer, his eyes blazing.
I can feel my heart racing, my pulse pounding in my ears. Ethan’s sudden aggression takes me aback, and I struggle to find my voice.
“Tell me, you still love him, right?” Ethan’s voice out again. “So I can stop having this illusion in my head about my future with you.”
He takes a step closer, his eyes blazing with anger.
“I’ve stuck around for so long because of you, Nadine, because I fucking care about you.
But all you’ve been doing is building a wall between us because of him.” He points towards the door as if Logan might walk in at any moment.
“I’ve been patient, I’ve been understanding, but it’s always about him. So I’ll ask you one more time, do you still fucking love him?”
His voice booms through the flower shop, making me flinch. I’m scared because I’ve never seen Ethan like this before. He’s always been gentle with me, kind and caring, but now his anger is aimed directly at me.
“I’ve had enough of you pushing me into a corner, asking me if I still love him,” I say with a low, fierce voice, my teeth grinding hard as my emotions reach a boiling point.
“Yes, I love him. Happy now?” I spit out the words, my heart tightening in my chest as I admit the truth.
“He was my fucking husband, and we shared many nights, we have a son together.” I feel a lump form in my throat as I speak, my eyes welling up with tears.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but my emotions are in full bloom. “I want to move on, I do,” I say.
“But Logan is always there, in my head, haunting me. He won’t let me move on. Many times, I wish I could feel even the tiniest spark of love for you,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.
“But every time I try, it falls flat. I’m sorry, Ethan. I’m so sorry.”
I see Ethan’s eyes widen in shock, his face twisted in anger. And he wasn’t expecting me to admit my true feelings. He knows I still love Logan, but hearing me say it out loud is a different story.
For a moment, we locked eyes. Then, without a word, Ethan turns and walks out the door, leaving me standing alone in the flower shop.
One minute, I was admiring the flower shop and laughing with Ethan; the next, we were lost in a passionate kiss.
But then Logan appeared, and everything fell apart. He has a way of ruining things, and I know it won’t be the same with Ethan anymore.
Yet, I feel a sense of relief. I’ve finally let go of the lie I’ve been telling myself for years, and it’s liberating.
I take a deep breath, the scent of flowers filling my lungs, and try to process the chaos that just erupted.
As I step out of the flower shop, a lone tear rolls down my cheek, and I feel my mind spinning with a jumble of thoughts.
The cool air hits me, and I’m caught off guard by the sight of Logan standing on the walkway. The sky has darkened, and rain begins to fall.
Logan’s eyes lock on mine, and he slowly raises an umbrella, holding it out for me as I approach. I don’t bother to hide from the rain, letting the droplets fall on my face, mingling with my tears.
For a moment, we just stare at each other, the only sound is the raindrops on the umbrella.
His familiar cologne wafts up and sends a shiver down my spine. My legs tremble, threatening to give way at the mere sight of him.
He’s got a smile on his face, and I’m caught off guard by the warmth in his eyes, and my mind starts racing with possibilities.
Why is he smiling at me like that? Does he know something I don’t? My conversation with Ethan replays in my head, and I wonder if Logan overheard us.
That smug smile on his face suggests he might have.
“Move away,” I say, trying to step back from him, but my feet feel rooted to the spot.
My gaze drifts to his lips, and I’m instantly transported back to yesterday’s kiss at my house.
The memory of his lips crashing against mine, stealing my senses, makes my heart race. I shake my head, trying to dispel the thoughts.
“It’s raining, and you have no umbrella,” he says.
“Fuck you, Logan. Move away, right this minute.” I’m angry, but he just smirks.
All I want to do is slap that smirk off his face. His gaze holds me captive, and I feel like he’s enjoying my discomfort.
“Logan, seriously,” I say, trying to sound firm, but my voice cracks. “Move away.” But he just takes a step closer, his smile growing wider, and I feel my resolve crumbling.
“Please, Nadine, I have so much to tell you,” Logan says, his eyes begging me to listen.
“For the sake of our son, please just hear me out.” His words tug at my heartstrings, but I’m not ready to forgive him yet.
Am I ready to hear what he has to say? Am I ready to hear about how he’s moved on from me and is just trying to find closure? I’m not sure.
I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. “Let’s head to the station,” I say instead. “I need to see the chief. Isn’t that the reason you interrupted my moment?”