Alyssa’s POV
I don’t know how we ended up here. How I ended up at the very edge of my resolve, standing in the dimly lit hallway of a dilapidated building, my heart pounding in my chest.
Ethan stood at the end of the hall, leaning against the cracked brick wall with his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face. The moment I saw him, something in me broke and stitched itself back together all at once.
“Ethan,” I said, my voice tight, trembling even though I tried to keep my composure. “We need to talk.”
His eyes flicked up from the floor, meeting mine with a look that sent a ripple of warning straight through me. “You shouldn’t have come.”
“You think?” I snapped, a flash of anger rushing to my throat. “What the hell are you thinking, Ethan? You’re planning to do this alone. Are you insane?”
His jaw tightened, and he pushed himself off the wall, taking a few steps toward me. “I’m not giving Xavier the chance to destroy everything we’ve fought for.”
I took a step forward, determined not to let him get away with this. “And what about us, Ethan? What about me?” My breath caught. “If you do this, you’re signing our death warrant. Do you understand that?”
“I understand exactly what I’m doing,” he said, his voice low, but there was a sharp edge to it, a finality that cut through the air. “I’m ending this. One way or another.”
I stared at him, my pulse quickening with every word. “You don’t get it. If you go after Xavier alone, you’ll never make it. He has too many people, too many resources. And I-” My throat closed up, but I pushed through. “And I can’t lose you, Ethan. I won’t let you throw your life away.”
His eyes softened for a fraction of a second, then hardened again. “I’m not doing it for you, Alyssa.” His voice was strained, as if the words were as much of a burden as they were a truth. “I’m doing it because it’s the only thing I have left to give.”
I frowned, something deep inside me twisting painfully as I took a step closer. “What the hell does that mean? What are you saying, Ethan?”
His eyes flickered away for just a second, and I caught the subtle signs-the way his muscles tensed, the way his lips pressed together tightly. “It means that I’ve lost everything. I don’t have anything left to fight for.”
“No,” I said, my voice a whisper, my heart squeezing in my chest. “You have me. You have us. I-”
But he shook his head, cutting me off. “No, Alyssa. It’s too late for that.” His eyes met mine again, but this time, there was a distance in them that I hadn’t seen before. “I can’t be the man you want me to be. Not anymore.”
My heart slammed in my chest, and the air around us thickened with the weight of his words. “You’re wrong. You don’t get to just decide that. You don’t get to shut me out.”
“I’m not shutting you out.” His voice was hoarse now, and I could see the battle raging behind his eyes. “I’m trying to save you from the truth.” He stepped closer, closing the distance between us in two swift strides, his hand brushing mine almost absently. “You don’t understand what’s at stake here, Alyssa. I don’t have anything left to lose.”
My breath caught in my throat. “What do you mean by that?” My voice was barely a whisper as I reached out, my fingers trembling as I touched his arm, trying to make him look at me. “What are you not telling me, Ethan?”
His eyes softened for a second, but then he pulled back, a sharp, almost pained expression crossing his face. “If I tell you now, it changes everything.” He clenched his fists, the tension in his body palpable. “And I can’t change what’s already happened. I can’t undo the past, Alyssa.”
I could feel my mind racing, my thoughts tumbling over each other, trying to piece together the puzzle he was so desperately trying to hide. “You think this is the answer?” I said, my voice breaking as I fought to keep the emotion from spilling over. “You think running headfirst into this fight, this war, is going to fix things? You’re wrong. You’re so wrong, Ethan.”
He stared at me, his gaze unwavering, but the walls between us were rising higher with every word, every breath. “You don’t understand. There’s no happy ending for me. There never was. I’m a monster, Alyssa.” His voice cracked, the raw pain in it nearly sending me to my knees. “I always have been. And no matter how hard I try to fight it, it’s who I am.”
I shook my head, the tears welling in my eyes threatening to spill over. “No. Ethan, no. You’re not a monster. You’re… you’re human. You feel. You care. You fight for the people you love. You fight for me.”
I stepped closer, placing my hand over his chest, right over his heart, trying to feel the beat of it beneath my palm. “You don’t have to do this alone. Not anymore.”
He pulled away from me, turning toward the door. “I have to. It’s the only way to make sure Xavier pays for everything he’s done. For everything he’s taken from us.”
“From me,” I corrected, a stab of anger jolting through me. “This isn’t just about revenge, Ethan. This is about survival. If you go through with this, you’re not just risking your life-you’re risking mine, and everyone else who’s gotten tangled in this mess.”
He didn’t look at me as he took a step toward the door. “Then maybe you should’ve stayed out of it from the start.” His voice was cold, distant, and it cut through me like a knife. “Maybe then you wouldn’t have to worry about losing me.”
I recoiled at his words, my throat closing up. Stay out of it? How could he say that to me? How could he think I would just walk away, leave him to do this on his own?
“Stop,” I said, my voice raw, pleading. “Please, Ethan. Don’t do this.” My chest constricted, and I could feel the tears stinging at the edges of my eyes. “I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
For the first time, Ethan hesitated. He stood there for a moment, his hand resting on the doorframe, his body tense as if fighting a battle only he could see. Finally, he turned to face me again, his eyes empty, haunted.
“I don’t have anything left to give, Alyssa,” he whispered. “I’m already dead inside. This is the only way out.”
I took a step toward him, my heart pounding in my ears. “No. Ethan, please. Talk to me. You don’t have to do this. You’re not alone. You never were.”
For a split second, I saw a flicker of something in his eyes-something that resembled the man I knew, the man I loved. But just as quickly, it disappeared. He turned away from me once again.
Before I could say another word, his voice came, low and broken. “I’m sorry. But it’s too late.”
And with that, he walked out the door, leaving me standing there, alone, the echo of his footsteps fading into the night.
As I stood there, the weight of his words crashing down on me, I realized something. Something that chilled me to the core. Ethan wasn’t just pushing me away to protect me.
He was pushing me away because he believed there was no way back for him.
But why? Why would he think that?
What happened to Ethan? And what secret was he hiding?
I was running out of time. The clock was ticking, and I was losing him, piece by painful piece.
And I couldn’t-no, I wouldn’t-let him slip away without understanding why.
The question echoed in my mind: What was Ethan not telling me?
And more importantly, why did he believe he had nothing left to lose?