“Oh, I agree,” Cassie said, shining her smile on all of us. “There’s so much we didn’t get a chance to do.”
“I guess it could be fun,” Allison said, “We’d have to agree on some things.”
“Oh definitely,” Cassie said.
“For sure,” Mike said. Though I doubted either was thinking of the same things Allison was.
“We’ll have to see where we’re at,” Emily said, cautiously. She’d grabbed my hand again. “You know, with stuff.”
“Of course,” Cassie said, “Whatever you need.”
“Paul?” Allison asked, “What do you think?”
What did I think? The last five days flew past me.
Allison’s boob in the hot tub. Mike kissing Cassie on Slinky Dog. Stripping each other down in the bungalow. Jack with Emily on the couch. Allison and me in bed. Coupling in our Halloween costumes. Mike and Emily on the lounge chair. Me and Cassie in the pool. Arguing in front of Cinderella Castle. Allison making out with Cassie. Jack, then Mike, then Jack again — eagerly ripping my wife to pieces. Then Cassie and I, one last time.
All of us, together. And apart.
I caught Emily’s eyes, and I couldn’t read her expression — searching and supplicant. Our friends all watched me, too. Eagerly waiting for my response. The next step, our future, it seemed clear.
Mike and Allison would make amends. Cassie would go back home with Jack and get back to their lives. Emily and I would form a family. This weekend would be a one-time thing. This weird, wonderful storm. It had changed us in so many ways, but it was over.
Yet something about that picture made my skin prickle. I couldn’t shake the sense of something. On the edge of the horizon. Past the fluffy clouds and the bright beams of sunlight. Like seeing the peak of Cinderella Castle poking through the treeline. A different place that promised of a far less certain future. Where everything kept going.
And everything stopped.
*
They called our flight and we started to board. The four of us got out of our seats and walked over to get in line at the gate. Cassie stayed to the side. I caught the beautiful blonde’s eye. She gave me an odd, sad smile. A short, little nod.
It was early morning again and we were back in the bungalow. I was naked in Cassie’s bed. We’d both just woken up. Cassie’s golden blonde hair ran rivulets down her shoulders. Her full breasts hung wonderfully. Her blonde little pussy so casually exposed.
“Last night,” Cassie said, “I said some things.”
“I know,” I replied immediately, “Just dirty talk. Not to worry.”
“I meant every word of it,” Cassie said, “I’m yours, Paul. If you’ll have me.”
I couldn’t hold back my surprise. Of all the unexpected things this trip, Cassie catching feelings was maybe the most shocking of all. The calm, perfectly coiffed woman letting herself be so vulnerable. It might have been the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. And the scariest.
“Hear me out,” Cassie said, “Please. I know you and Emily are… I see how much you care for her. Hell, it’s one of the reasons I — I feel the way I do for you. But I’ve been in this place before. I’ve seen other couples go through this. Emily’s going to tell you she’s over it. She’s going to sit you down as soon as she sees you and tell you that she’s done with Jack. That it was all some weird fever dream and now she’s yours forever.”
I nodded. But honestly, in that moment, I thought Cassie didn’t know what she was talking about. It just seemed like such an unlikely thing.
“Maybe Emily will even mean it,” Cassie continued, “But I’ve seen this so many times. Now that she’s tasted it, she won’t stop. She can’t. It’ll never go away. She’s going to keep doing this. And maybe that’s the life for her. But I know that isn’t what you want.”
Cassie grabbed my shoulders. She made sure she had my eyes locked on hers.
“You deserve someone who sees you for the wonderful man that you are,” Cassie said, “Who knows how lucky she is to have you in her life and will do anything she can for you. Because you’ll do the same for her.”
“Cassie I…”
“I can be that for you, Paul,” Cassie said, “I’ll be whoever you want me to be.”
“I would want you to be you,” I said.
Cassie’s eyes filled with tears.
“But I can’t,” I said.
I looked down at the comforter. Something about the pattern of it, purple and orange sewn slightly askew. Even now, years later, I can see it exactly in my mind.
Despite everything that had happened on that trip, I was still promised to Emily. I knew that Cassie wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t ready for her to be right, either. Sometimes, even when we know we have to drop things, we hold on. Not because of feelings or logic or anything like that. Just because we’ve gotten so used to gripping that we can’t let go.
“I’m sorry Cassie, I can’t.”
“I know,” Cassie said, with a sniffle. She straightened, then grabbed my attention again. “I wouldn’t feel this way if you could. But you owe me a favor. You know, from Buzz Lightyear. When I beat you.”
A guilty little tweak formed on her lips. My stomach twisted. I don’t know why I thought Cassie was going to ask for the impossible. It was a silly response, but I had it.
“Cassie…”
“I want you to call me,” Cassie said, shushing me with her finger. “Not all the time. Just every once in a while. And talk. Talk to me. About anything you want. Your job, your life. Whatever. Let me hear that deep, sexy voice. Every now and then. OK?”
“I’d like that,” I said, meaning it.
And Cassie smiled. Her real smile. One I’d swear I’d never seen before. Kind of crooked with too many teeth. Her cheeks crinkled, lopsided. Her eyes shone. It was maybe the least perfect I’d ever seen her.
And it was beautiful.
“Paul?”
There was a rush in my ears. Reality rolled over me. We were standing in line to get on our flight. Allison gave my shoulder a little shove.
“Paul,” she repeated it.
“Sorry,” I said, “What’s up?”
Mike, Allison, and Emily all pointed to the gate, where the attendant was waiting to scan my ticket. I looked over to Cassie, standing to the side. She was staring straight at me. Like she knew exactly where my mind had been.
“I guess I was off in my own world,” I said
I walked forward. They scanned our tickets and we stepped onto the jetway. Emily clung to my arm. Mike and Allison stood right behind us.
“It’s sad, all of this ending,” Emily said, “But I’m also so happy to be moving on.”
“Agreed,” Allison said.
“But we have so much to look forward to,” Mike said, “Disney in March 2020. It’s going to be amazing.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded. I supposed that, by then, all my questions would be answered.