I realized that Cassie had taken us all the way back to Tomorrowland. We’d crisscrossed the park entirely. Despite all that walking, my legs weren’t hurting, and I wondered if it was the adrenaline or hardcore denial.
This time, instead of leading me to the back towards Space Mountain, Cassie turned into a green and purple building with Buzz Lightyear on the front. This turned out to be another video game style ride, like the one we’d gone on that first day in Hollywood Studios. The one where Allison had lost and forced us to play again until she won
Competing with Cassie was different, though. She was playful about it. She didn’t need to win like Allison, but she didn’t opt out of the competition the way that Emily would have. Instead, Cassie made it fun as we fired our space lasers at two-dimensional aliens. Playfully teasing when I did well, yet also pumping me up when things went poorly.
After the ride, the machine tallied up our points and I saw that she’d beaten me pretty soundly, but she didn’t make me feel badly for it.
“You owe me,” Cassie said, “I won so now you have to give me my prize.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“You have to do something for me,” she said, “Just once. Whatever I want.”
I nodded my agreement. I hadn’t agreed to such terms, but I doubted that Cassie would be too mean about it. At least, I hoped not.
Since we were back in Tomorrowland, Cassie insisted that we get on the Peoplemover across from Buzz. We rode the flat escalator up and climbed into one of the blue, open cars. The benches were tight, so we sat facing each other. Our vehicle moved off at a comfortable clip.
I looked down at the land beneath us. The view was lovely in the electric light. Small crowds of people wandered around the park. The light breeze caused by the movement of our car tempered the heat of the evening. I sat back and sighed. Sometimes, a ride doesn’t need speed or drops to be thrilling.
Then I saw them. I noticed Mike first, of course, because of his height. I saw Emily was with him. Neither of them noticed us above them on the ride, of course. As I watched, the tall blonde man turned to my wife, tipped her face to his, and kissed her on the lips.
It hit me in the chest, hard. Like the percussive thump of a cannonball.
I don’t know why it bothered me. That afternoon, I’d overheard Emily in the shower getting epically fucked by Jack. I’d kissed Allison, Emily’s best friend, loads of times. And in places far more inappropriate and intimate. Why did a quick smooch on the lips from Allison’s husband seem so wrong to me?
Some of it, I think, was my lack of anticipation. Unlike most of these Disney days, I hadn’t been thinking about Emily this whole time. Having her shoved back into my focus like that made everything feel sharper. I thought about all the things my wife might have been doing that evening. Were she and Mike spending the whole time engaging with each other?
There was some jealousy mixed in, too. The stupid kind that thought about how I’d spent my evening with Cassie and how little we’d done. I hadn’t kissed the blonde woman at all; we’d barely even held hands. Meanwhile my wife was apparently making out with another man all over the Magic Kingdom.
Cassie caught my eye, then noticed what I’d seen. Her near-permanent smile shifted to a tight frown. She reached across the little car and grabbed my hands. It was strange with the Beast gloves on, almost silly, but the gesture was meaningful, nonetheless.
“It’s fine,” I said, more to myself than to my companion. “Nothing we haven’t been doing all along.”
I expected Cassie to agree. To lecture me on letting go, or trusting my wife, or all the other stuff she’d said that week. But the beautiful blonde didn’t say a word. She just squeezed my furry hands and let my eyes rest on hers.
We sped around a corner, leaving Mike and Emily to whatever they were up to. It was a blessing not to see, a curse to have to imagine. Why did this get to me so much? Again, I couldn’t rationalize it.
The Peoplemover whisked us into the surrounding blackness of the Space Mountain building. We heard the echoing screams of people on the ride, loud metallic clanks as their cars raced around the tracks. Our car rumbled along, then slowed. And stopped.
It was so dark, we couldn’t see anything. I could feel Cassie’s hands on mine, but I couldn’t make out much more than that. A voice came on and told us to stay in the car, that we’d be moving shortly. We stayed stuck in place.
Cassie dropped my hands. She let out a sigh, so long and loud I could hear it over the cacophony of the ride around us. I had the sense that she was leaning back in her seat.
“I wish,” she said, wistful. “I wish that I could find someone who’d stare at me the way you look at Emily.”
“Jack?” I asked.
Cassie made a dismissive noise. Almost like a raspberry. “My mom always told me that I was beautiful, and that meant I deserved more.”
I thought that sounded like a nice thing. The only thing my parents ever told me was that I needed to work hard because the world was horrible and unfair.
“In high school, I dated the captain of the football team,” Cassie continued, “My first real boyfriend. And I suffered through because I thought I was supposed to.”