“I told her I thought it sounded nice,” Allison said, “I’m an only child and I was so lonely growing up. But Emily looked so envious. It was like, imagining being her mother made her ill. I think she’s afraid that’s going to happen. She’ll end up trapped, hemmed in, by her own loved ones.”
“Yes,” I said, “That sounds like Emily.”
At that moment, my wife let out another long, loud shriek. Muffled only slightly by the sounds of the shower.
“Jeez, he’s really giving it to her in there,” Allison said idly. Then she looked my way, abashed.
I rolled onto my side and started to lazily play my fingers over Allison’s chest. The casual contact was almost more transgressive than all the sex. We weren’t just coupling, this was being an actual couple.
“And you?” I asked.
“Cassie fucking Summers,” Allison said, “As soon as I saw Mike looking at her in ‘Ohana, I knew I couldn’t compete. I figured I could argue, lose, and have him fuck her anyway. Or I could be the good little wifey and let Mike have his fun, knowing that he’d come back to me. Eventually.”
“Are you having fun?” I asked.
Allison formed a half frown. “Sometimes,” she said, wistful. She looked right at me. “With you though, Paul? Always. You’re a great guy.”
“I am pretty amazing,” I said.
Allison growled. She punched me in the shoulder. It hurt a lot more than when her husband did it a few days before. The athletic blonde chortled — full and wonderful. She leaned in and kissed me, hard.
Then we fell back, lazily cuddling in the bed. Idle in a way that was wholly intimate. The silence wrapping around us like a warm, soft blanket.
I thought about what Allison had said, how she’d protected her marriage vows by letting Mike break them. Was I doing the same thing? Playing along in the hopes that, eventually, Emily would come back to me? Maybe even improved, a bit more sexually open; willing to try new things. Yet also calmed, content, and ready to start building a family.
That’s what I wanted, right? But what about all that I’d experienced? I realized I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go of all this, either.
What I’d found with Allison was so different. We’d connected in a way I’d never conceived. We’d been close before. The innocent teasing, the little winks and eye-rolls. We’d become so much more than that. ‘Friendship’ hardly described what we had. I knew, instinctively, that Allison and I were now linked in a way we could never break. Stronger than steel and harder than diamonds.
And yet, when I looked at that gorgeous face and those deep brown eyes, I knew. All that I felt for Allison — as close as I’d ever been to a woman who was not my wife — I realized in that moment.
I didn’t love her. I never would.
Allison was wonderful. But we could never evolve past what we were. Even if we fucked for weeks. Made love for months. Some bridges couldn’t be crossed, no matter how hard you tried to force yourself over.
In some ways, that revelation was a relief. A reminder that, no matter how far we went, there was still a limit. But it made me sad, too. I honestly can’t say why.
I groaned and got out of bed. Allison watched me go. I think she sensed what I’d been thinking. She gave me a wan little smile.
“First bathroom, right?” I said, referencing the morning when I’d accidentally walked in on her naked.
“Second,” she said, the grin on her face got fuller.
I went into the empty bathroom by myself. I could hear the rhythmic thumps of my wife getting epically fucked in the next room. I turned on the shower water and it all faded away. I stood there, soaking in the heat, just staring at the stone walls. Tracing the patterns like a Rorschach Test, searching for hidden meaning in the randomness.
Eventually I pumped out some soap and went about the business of actually cleaning myself. My body ached like I’d been in a fist fight. I was covered in bruises and blisters, unsure of whether they had come from the long days in the parks or the marathon sex sessions afterwards. Extreme Disney. Who’d have thought?
When I was done, I switched off the shower water and grabbed my towel. The other bathroom had gone quiet. I heard the sounds of conversation in the next room. Not sex; actual talking. I slid open the shoji door of the bathroom and, once again, was taken aback.
There, standing in the middle of our hotel room, was an actual, honest-to-God, Disney princess.