Allison went next, listing off places she’d supposedly had sex: her parents’ bed, the floor of a closed clothing store, and the college locker room showers. We all assumed the locker room was the lie (clothing store seemed too specific and the bedroom too mundane), but it turned out wrong.
“In my parents’ bed would be gross,” Allison said, like the other two options were oh so sanitary.
“I tried to convince her,” Mike said with a dramatic shrug, and we all laughed.
Allison was triumphant, and without waiting for anyone to tell her otherwise, the athletic blonde shot out and grabbed my dick.
I nearly jumped out of the pool, I was so shocked.
“Are you crazy, woman?” I shouted, not covering my accent even a little bit.
Allison cackled wickedly. “Very nice,” she said.
“I knew he had a ‘talk’ button somewhere,” Cassie said, laughing even harder.
I looked over to Emily, hoping she’d stand up for me, but she was chuckling as much as everyone else. Her cheeks were pink with mirth, alcohol, embarrassment, and (no doubt) other things.
“Your go, Em,” Cassie said.
“I don’t know,” Emily said. For the first time that evening, I saw the shy woman I was so used to. I guess we’d finally found her limit.
“Go for it,” Jack said, kindly, “We’re all friends here.”
To my astonishment, Emily sat up and straightened her shoulders. Steeled herself. “OK, ummmmm, my first kiss was after my prom, my first oral was with the starting quarterback freshman year of college, my first time for real was with Paul.”
Everyone turned my way, but I raised my hands in surrender. I knew I wasn’t supposed to say anything. The answer was so obvious, I just hoped it didn’t show on my face.
“There’s no way the QB one is real,” Allison said, thinking aloud, “Emily hates sports. She couldn’t care less about them.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, then turned to look at my wife. Emily shook her head, vigorously.
“The quarterback thing is true,” Emily said, “He was kinda the it guy in college. He actually made it to the pros and everything. He was a backup in the NFL for a while, I think. Anyway, I’d had a crush on him since forever and… I wanted to experiment.”
“You go girl!” Cassie cried out, clapping her hands with delight.
“Oh, it was nothing special, trust me,” Emily said.
“So what was the lie?” Mike asked.
I sat back and smiled. I hadn’t heard the quarterback story before, but I knew it had to be true because I spotted the lie from the start — my wife had told me she had a serious boyfriend before me, in college, and they’d been intimate.
“Seriously?” Emily said, “Who has their first kiss at prom? That’s so cliche.”
I froze. But that meant…
Emily turned away from us as her face went red, “Paul really was my first.”
Wait. What?
“I didn’t want you to think I was some geeky virgin,” Emily said to me, “You seemed so, I dunno, worldly. I thought you’d think less of me if you knew I hadn’t been with anyone. So, I made up the boyfriend thing.”
“I’m not like that,” I said. Anyone who thought of me as worldly needed to get themselves a globe.
“Oh, come on,” Cassie said, “The accent. The deep, dark eyes. Your whole ‘silent man of mystery’ thing. I can see it.”
I shook my head, like trying to get the bees out of my brain. Emily’s explanation made sense, I guess. But in the space of two sentences, she’d turned my understanding of her upside down. I found myself wondering, were there other things my wife had made up about herself? Or worse, other secrets she simply wasn’t telling me? Those little kisses from before suddenly felt far more ominous.
Emily had turned my way and was clearly reading it all on my face. Her lips made a wistful twist, then she mouthed the word, ‘later.’
“So, you’ve only ever been with one man?” Cassie asked Emily, like she couldn’t believe it.
Emily bobbed her head, emphatically.
“Wow.” It was as if Emily had told Cassie we lived in a yurt in the Sahara or subsisted only on pickled herring. The beautiful blonde couldn’t process the concept.
“Well, OK, Emily,” Mike said, “You win a reward for stumping us.”
“Oh,” Emily said, as if it had just occurred to her. “OK, ummm…”
Her hand shot down into the water. Jack didn’t falter, but I could tell from the grin that spread across his face that my wife had gotten a grab. A split-second later, Emily ripped her hand back out of the water like it’d been burned.
“All set,” she said, giggling.
Jack gave her a knowing wink and Emily flushed down to her chest.
“Well, that’s a revelation,” Cassie said, “OK, I guess I’ve got to raise the stakes. I do side work as a cam girl. I’ve done a nude photoshoot. Jack and I have an open marriage.” She didn’t even blink as she said it.
“Jeez,” Allison said.
“Wow,” Mike said.
“Really?” Emily said.
It was an immediately uncomfortable situation. Not so much guessing the lie, that was hard enough. But it also meant that two of the other things Cassie had told us were true. Any option we selected, seemed like something unreal. Beyond anything the rest of us could imagine.
Everyone held back, unwilling to guess. There was no winning either way, no matter what we said. Finally, Cassie realized that none of us was going to risk taking a guess.
“I just do PR,” she said, shaking her head. Like the other things weren’t equally shocking, “No camming for me.”
No one said anything. Cassie glanced away, clearly coming on to the fact that maybe she’d revealed too much.
“The photoshoot was for my college boyfriend,” Cassie said, “It was fun. Kind of. Though I ended up regretting it later. And Jack and I aren’t open open. We just like to play sometimes. It’s not a big deal. You mean you guys have never shared?”
All four of us shook our heads. I don’t know why Cassie was surprised. Emily had just confessed to being with one man, total. Multiple mid-marriage encounters were clearly out of the question.