Maybe it was my imagination but the male in me couldn’t help but notice her breasts pressing into my chest. They were small, accommodating her small frame, but very firm. I could also tell that she wasn’t wearing a bra under her nightgown. Shaking off the thoughts, I silently admonished myself and gently set her down so she could stand (at her request).
“Okay,” she began instructing me, “Hold me steady please.” I held her under her arms while she began pulling up her gown. I tried to look away but Zoe would start to wobble to slip and it would draw my attention back. So it was beyond my control to not notice she was also not wearing any underwear of any sort! Yep, completely out of my control.
It was also beyond my control to notice that she was shaved smooth, which didn’t strike me as odd at the time but would become paramount. More on that later. At the time I just shrugged it off and dismissed it as a thing modern women did.
When she was done, she cleaned herself and I helped her stand up so I could carry her back to her room. She asked to be placed in her motorized chair so she could start researching and filling out the needed forms.
I went back out to the living room and sat down, trying to take in all that had happened this morning. Just a few hours ago everything seemed to be going great but now it was all topsy-turvy again. Okay, I thought, we can handle this. It’s just for a few months after all.
****
The next day I discovered was that I really didn’t have time to work anymore, at least not to the degree I was used to. I wasn’t resentful about it, but it was a change I had to adjust to. Zoe needed my help for just about everything, which wasn’t a problem for the most part. At least until she needed a shower.
“Come on dad.” she said as she wheeled towards the bathroom. “I’m going to need help with this.”
“Um, okay.” I said a little hesitantly.
“Don’t worry. I got a plan.” she smiled at me, hoping it would allay my fears.
Her shower was a large, open tiled area that would allow her to sit in a sturdy chair that was affixed to the floor and wall. She could use it for support to get in and out of a wheelchair. Unfortunately, she wasn’t strong enough to transition from the wheelchair to the shower chair on her own.
“Normally Jamie would undress me and get me in the shower.” she said as we stood at the shower threshold, looking at it as if it were an impassable gorge. “But if you can get me in the chair I should be able to get undressed on my own.”
“Sounds good.” I said as I leaned down and picked her up. I gently sat her down in the shower chair and left her to her own devices.
I wasn’t two steps out of the bathroom when I heard her grunts of struggle and frustration. I paused at the door, waiting for the water to turn on. After a few moments, instead, I heard “daaaaaaad!”
I slowly walked into the bathroom, “Everything okay?”
“No!” she sighed, and when I looked at her I could see why. Her nightgown was tangled around her head, with her left arm trapped inside. With her right arm she tried to cover her exposed chest but wasn’t very successful at it.
“Help please.” she said, resigning herself. I tried not to look at her while she sat there as I undressed her. I freed her arm and pulled the gown over her head.
“Sorry about this, dad.” she said, not even trying to cover up any more.
“Nothing to be sorry about.” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“I guess you’ll have to get used to seeing me, ya know, like this.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I tried not to look at her breasts, but it my eyes were drawn to them, especially when she motioned to her nude body. “Remember, like you said, I used to change your diapers.”
“Yeah, well, like you said, a few things have changed since then.” I couldn’t tell, but I could swear I could see her blushing
“A few, yeah.” I chuckled and turned to leave, “Holler when you’re done.”
I stepped out of the bathroom and took a deep, shuddering breath. My erection was straining against my jeans. I heard the water turn on and hurried out of the bedroom as well. I leaned back against the wall and caught my breath, willing my body to obey and relax. Within a few minutes I felt I was in control of myself and my urges.
That’s when Zoe called for me that she was ready to get out. Dammit.
I went back in and, thankfully, Zoe had wrapped a towel around her chest and held it under her arms. I bent down and scooped her up, feeling her damp body press into my chest. She was still hot from the shower, and her lilac shampoo scented hair dripped still from the water.
“Okay, what now?” I asked as I carried her back into the bedroom.
“Help dry me off please?” she said meekly.
I sighed and nodded my consent. Gently sitting her up on the bed, I got another towel and returned to dry her hair, arms and legs. I cannot say whether it was an accident or planned, but when I looked up at her I caught a glimpse between her legs, of her slit nearly hidden between her thighs. I looked away before she could catch me.
She had already picked out a clean night gown and I helped her into it, getting another eyefull of her chest.
“It’s been a long day.” she sighed, “I think I’m going to call it an early night.”
“Okay baby. I’m just down the hall if you need anything.”
“Thanks dad. And thanks.”
“No thanks needed, baby.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”
“Love you.” she said, smiling.
I tucked her into bed, smiling as she turned off light and I walked out of the room. This was going to be harder than I expected. No pun intended.
****
A few days later I was in my home office, exhaustedly trying to finalize a new home blueprint, when it suddenly vanished from the computer. I’m not a complete idiot when it comes to computers, but try as I might I could not find the damn files anywhere.
“Fuck me!” I said through gritted teeth, angrily tapping the keyboard.
“That might raise a few eyebrows.” Zoe said, silently wheeling into the room
“Wha? Oh, sorry, no, I just lost some plans and I can’t find the damn things.”
“Lemme see.” She maneuvered closer to the computer.
“Be my guest.” I rolled my chair aside to give her access.
She typed slowly and deliberately with her one hand, bit I was at a loss as to what she was doing. Windows and prompts I’d never seen were popping up with commands and information that was complete Greek to me. As she worked, Zoe started humming and making odd clicking sounds with her tongue, obviously consumed by the task at hand. I watched as the old Zoe I remembered emerged ever so slightly.
“Gotcha.” She said victoriously a few minutes later. Sure enough, my missing files were all restored.
“How the hell did you do that?”
“Training. It’s not like I was big enough to be on the front lines, plus I guess I had a natural aptitude to this sort of thing. A lot of what I did was recover data miscreants thought they’d deleted or destroyed.” She looked up at me smugly, “You’d be surprised how much data you can pull off a hard drive, even after it’s been smashed with a hammer.”
“Wow.” I said, genuinely impressed. “Any other skills I should know about?”
“Tons.” She said, then added, “with computers.”
“You know…” I said, an idea taking form, “I’m obviously hopeless when it comes to some of this stuff. What do you say to helping me out?”
“Help you out? I don’t know anything about architecture.”
“Not asking you to draw plans. Just help with the computer and office stuff. That’s always been my weakest area.”
“Well, maybe.” Zoe paused to consider it. “I’d have to check my schedule.” She chuckled.
****
Over the next few weeks we got into a routine. I’d help Zoe in the morning, she’d help me at home with the company, then at night I’d get her cleaned and ready for bed. Occasionally we would go out to a site together, but she admitted she felt uncomfortable outside of the house so we would only leave when it was necessary. When Zoe wasn’t helping, she would be working on her strength and motion and there was steady, albeit slow, improvement.
Everything seemed to be going pretty good. I should have known something would happen to screw it up.
“Um. Dad?” she asked one day, and I could tell something was bugging her.
“Yeah? Everything okay?”
“Well, yeah, I guess. You know, I’m really grateful with all that you’ve done, right?”
“Yeah, but you know it’s no big deal to me, right?”
“Yeah, I do, I guess, but, you see, there’s something else that I need help with, well, going to need help with, I guess.”
“Slow down.” I said, trying to stop her rambling. “What do you need, baby?”
“Well, you remember when Jamie left?”
“Yeah?” I wondered where this was going
“About three weeks ago?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, when she left I had just, you know, ended?”
“Ended?”
“Yeah.” she said, looking away, “My period.”
“Oh. Oh!” I said as realization kicked in.
“Yeah.” she said, nodding.
“Okay. well, what do you need me to do?”
“I know guys can get grossed out by this, so-”
“I’ve been wiping your butt for several weeks now. I think I can handle this.” I said smiling
“We’ll see.” Zoe chuckled at my teasing. “The thing is, I really can’t, or at least shouldn’t, use tampons given my current… eh… limitations.”
“So… pads then?”
“Yeah, pads. I really hate those things. Gets all messy and sticky down there.”
“What’s the alternative?”
“Nothing, but if I gotta use those things, I need to prep.”
“How so?”
“It’s really a personal preference, but it’s going to be easier to clean if I’m, you know…” she kinda moved her head as if I knew what she was talking about.
“If you were?” I prompted.
She sighed, resigned to having to spell it out for me. “Shaved. Down there.”
While I had been helping her into the bathroom, I had thus far managed to avoid dealing directly with her vagina. That’s not to say I hadn’t caught a brief glimpse every now and then. It was unavoidable. Honest.
Looking back, I can say that I remember her going from being bare to more natural. I never really gave it any thought; I guess I just thought it was a preference. It never occurred to me that she couldn’t shave herself. I couldn’t shave my face without a mirror and complete control over my hands. Zoe didn’t have the motor control to maneuver a razor around that area or the stamina to stay bent over so she could see what she was doing.
“Well. Okay. I guess, uh.” I took a slow breath, “I guess I’ll have to help you out.”
“I’m sorry dad.” she said, and I could see her starting to tear up.
“It’s okay baby.” I tried to comfort Zoe, kneeling beside her and wrapping my arms around her.
“No, it’s not!” she said thickly, “I hate being so fucking helpless.”