A month later Zoe and I were in the car headed to the airport. She stared out of the window at the passing trees. The airport was a little over an hour away, and the small talk had dwindled after first few miles. After a few minutes of silence, I reached over and took her hand in mine, enjoying her soft touch for a moment. Zoe looked over at me expectantly, then just smiled and squeezed my hand. It was a gesture that spoke volumes.
When we arrived at the airport, I walked her into the terminal instead of just dropping her off at the curb. She had one carry-on bag with a few of her clothes and other essentials, so we were able to skip that part of the check in. We paused briefly at the security gate, giving us one last moment.
“You be careful baby, you hear me?”
“I will dad. I promise.”
I wrapped her in my arms, holding back tears as I gave her one last hug.
“I love you, baby girl.” I whispered.
“I love you too, daddy.” she whispered back. She only called me daddy when no one else was around to hear her, letting me know she was still my little girl.
After a minute I knew she had to go, and I reluctantly released her.
“Give ’em hell.” I said, grinning at her.
“Hoo rah.” she said, smiling back at me though glistening eyes.
She picked up her bag and went through the security point. I stood there and watched until I could no longer see her, then waited a few minutes longer just in case she completely changed her mind.
She didn’t, of course.
The drive home was long and painful, each moment made worse knowing that Kathy had refused to join us. She said she didn’t want to see Zoe make this big of a mistake, especially when it was expressly against her wishes. She hugged Zoe goodbye at the house, but didn’t get in the car to join us. I tried to call Kathy when I was driving home, but it went straight to voicemail.
When I finally pulled into the garage, Kathy’s car was gone. When I went into the bedroom, I realized what was going on.
All of the drawers in Kathy’s dresser were open and empty. Likewise, her side of the closet was devoid of clothes. A simple note on the bed had my name scrawled on the back.
“Dear Will,
I need some time to myself. I’ve gone to stay with my sister for a while. I’ll call you when I get there.
Kathy”
I knew what this meant. She wrote it as if to give me some hope she would return, but I knew the truth. We’d talk tonight, maybe tomorrow, then in a week she’d realize she was happier there. Then she’d admit to herself that she wouldn’t be coming home. Then the final step: divorce.
My sons had long ago moved out. I had just dropped my daughter off at the airport. Now my wife has left. I sat on the bed buried my face in my hands, and for the first time in a long time, I cried.
****
Zoe was furious when she heard the news. I couldn’t tell if she was mad because Kathy waited until now to leave, or if it was because she used Zoe’s departure to hide her own. While she and Kathy never truly got along, Zoe was also upset that she couldn’t be there to comfort and console me. I would have loved her being here, but her being here would mean she’d be going AWOL from there. I wanted Zoe to live her dream, regardless of what her mother or I did.
Adam and Mike offered the usual words of sympathy and support. They had figured out long before I did that we were only together “for the kids”, but everyone was surprised at how quickly it happened. Both offered to come over if I needed them to, but I politely declined. There was nothing they could do other than offer support, and as far as I was concerned they could do that as well over the phone as here.
I figured I had two options: I could either wallow in self-pity or do something production. So, I dove head first into work to keep me occupied. I’m an architect by trade, specializing primarily in designing custom homes and landscapes. I had been semi-retired for the past couple of years; I worked mostly only when I wanted to. Now, I really wanted to work… A lot. I bid on contracts that before I wouldn’t have even looked at twice. I was able to bid low since I wanted the work more than the money. It felt good to immerse myself in the job again, even if it was only to take my mind off of my personal life for a bit.
As I anticipated, divorce papers came a few weeks later. I had already contacted a friend in the legal profession who had counselled me on what to do. I called him and the negotiations began. For the past several years Kathy had been the primary bread-winner, so she didn’t push for any alimony and since I was working again I didn’t want anything anyway. The only thing I really cared about was the house. It was one of my first designs, and I had spent months obsessing over the plans back then. I knew every support, nail, wire, and pipe in this place. I agreed to pay Kathy half of the market value, which she readily agreed to. The lawyers handled the back and forth and by the time Zoe was ready to graduate from basic training our divorce was finalized.
I flew out Tuesday morning, picked up my rental car, and drove to Paris Island. The next few days were a whirlwind of tours and flood of information. I was beyond proud of my daughter’s accomplishments. I barely recognized her when she ran up to meet me. Even in fatigues I could tell she had put on muscle. When she hugged me, I could feel her toned body against mine. Her new fit body was a stark contrast to my body-by-pizza self, and a harsh reminder that I needed to hit the gym. Still, feeling her back in my arms made everything right again.
Adam was also able to attend Zoe’s graduation, but Kathy and Michael were both tied up with their work. That Kathy never approved of Zoe joining was probably also a factor. After the graduation, the three of us spent a week in Savannah Georgia before she had to return. We said our goodbyes and returned to our homes.
I’m not sure what her MOS was to be honest. I know it involved intelligence gathering and analytics. At least it was a safe position, right?
A little over a year later I’d find out how completely wrong I was.