‘Okay,’ Tammy said. There was a hint of sadness in her voice, because she felt she had hurt him – exposed him to more dangerous things than the shame of being caught with such a risque secret. She felt now that she had exposed him to the danger of losing everything he loved her for. ‘this changes nothing, okay?’
‘Thank you, mom,’ he said and hung up.
7
At two o’clock in the morning, sleep hadn’t yet come and so Tammy found herself wide awake and fidgeting. After the storm of anxiety and self-loathing had passed, she was left depressed and restless. She checked her messages, roamed Twitter fleetingly and inevitably, she supposed, returned to Literotica; specifically her son’s profile, Erotikinesis!
‘Come to Bed with Mommy,’ was doing well for itself in the ratings. She felt drawn to that story once again and so returned to it with apprehensive curiosity, like a one-time lover passing by an old flame to see what had changed since. She didn’t feel guilty like she imagined she should. Now knowing just who had written that story instilled a sober light of truth in her, lighting up the dark as she read from the comfort of her bed.
‘Wow,’ she said to herself, reading from the beginning all over again. ‘My son wrote this in honour of me…’
And as she retraced her steps along the cause of yesterday’s frantic self-pleasuring interlude, seeing in her mind – just as the story dictated – the love and trust of a mother and son seduced into a bond that was deeper and so honest and raw and passionate, she could see why his imagination did such crazy things to her. He spoke from his own soul to one that he had known inside and out, all his life. He spoke from one heart to another, confessing the kind of things that no son could tell his own mother.
Now that Tammy lay legs apart, reading with one hand and masturbating with the other, yearning for the kind of lust and adoration that only his stories could portray so unashamedly, the burning shame of that evening was lost, along with her inhibitions, and with that same brilliant young man sleeping in the next room, she afforded herself to become more animated and vocal.
As Ben made love to her and filled her deep, ravished her body and whispered sweet things between their hungry kisses, her fingers were the tip of his straining cock, daring to enter her for the first time, and her hips rolled and bucked to woo him and to reel him in.
She was so wet, so feverishly hot inside. Tammy was the proud owner of a prominent clitoris and a thick fleshy hood and labia that loved to be pinched and pulled. She couldn’t help but stray from the story and imagine pulling those wet lips apart to invite him in, to feel herself clinging to him with every slippery wet push and pull.
Before long Tammy had strayed far from the story and into a new chapter, one reality jumping to the next with such exciting uncertainty. Unashamedly she brought herself off wanting for herself and Ben what that story couldn’t promise, convulsing blissfully in the knowledge that he made her feel this way, just by the power of his beautiful mind.
“Still my favourite mother and son,” she typed in the comments section. “I’d like to read more about Tammy and Ben!”
8
The next day played out like the longest, heaviest hangover Tammy had ever known. That morning she was out the door before he was awake, wanting to make up for the previous day’s lost hour. It was a mistake. Tammy regretted it almost instantly. The hour between 8 and 9 felt more like two. By the time noon came around, she felt as though she had clawed her way through most of a day, but it wasn’t so.
The boss dropped by when he could to give her the once over, seemingly not satisfied by her claims that she was in fact feeling better. Tammy hadn’t been ill, though he didn’t know that. Now apparently she appeared to him like death warmed up. She thanked him and curtly kicked him out of her cubicle before he could offer the overtime that she was afraid was coming to her.
Little did she know that Ben felt the same, tired, heavy and dragging his feet around work, but she did worry enough to send him a message during lunchtime, telling him that she was thinking about him.
The end of the day couldn’t have come quickly enough. When it did, Tammy dropped into the nearest Starbucks and ordered a large cappuccino, then sat down to allow the huge caffeine boost time to perk her up. Her train of thought was no different to what it had been all day, which was why the time had passed by at a grinding pace.
‘I’m on dangerous ground here,’ she thought. ‘I’m incapable of leaving things be. I’ve proved that over the past two days. Now that we both know this intimate secret about each other, I promised that nothing had changed and it has. I cannot get his fantasy out of my mind and I cannot get him out of my mind. We need to talk. I need to know where he stands.’
Finally getting home at quarter to six, Tammy walked through the door with a steaming bag full of Chinese food and called out to Ben, who was in the kitchen with his head in the fridge.
‘I got us an easy dinner, my treat,’ she said, putting the bag on the counter. She couldn’t read his face. Or could she? Ben seemed aloof at first, but then just tired, like he hadn’t slept in days. When his eyes met hers, she didn’t care whether she was right or not. Tammy got up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around him.
‘Let’s eat,’ she said, her voice muffled against his strong chest. ‘This has been such a long day.’ Sensing the frustration in her voice, Ben gave into his instincts and wrapped her tightly in his own arms, pressing his cheek hard to hers.
9
‘I want us to talk,’ Tammy said. ‘Face to face, no shame, no secrets. Are you game?’
They were sat opposite each other again, she in her chair and Ben sprawled across the couch, exactly where their secret had been outed. Ben puffed out his chest, sat up and nodded, psyching himself up for god knows what he was expecting. If anything, he knew that he could rely on his mother to mean whatever she said.
‘May I join you?’ she asked. ‘I don’t want this to seem so detached.’ Ben nodded again and so Tammy stood up and approached the couch where she perched herself on the edge, facing him.
That evening she was wearing nothing but a large t-shirt, which hung off her shoulders and went all the way down near to her knees, and the panties she wore underneath. She had put no thought into what she was wearing and whether it was appropriate for the occasion or not. She didn’t do so many formalities at home. Ben was free from the old Catholic attitudes that she herself had thrust upon her at his age.
‘Did you see the comment I left last night?’
‘I did, yeah…’
She took his hand in both of hers to fidget with. He yielded without question. She hoped that it meant he trusted her and wasn’t just trying to go along with it, to get it over and done with. ‘Look at me, Ben,’ she said tenderly and held his gaze like a magnet. ‘Did you see what time I left that message?’
‘I did notice,’ he admitted. ‘You were up late.’
‘Like a lot of your readers every night,’ Tammy supposed. ‘You and me like the same thing and that’s not a problem. I want you to know that as weird as it may seem right now, it’s not a problem. Things aren’t as clear cut as society makes everything out to be. People are more liberal these days. They generally know what hurts people and what makes them feel good.’
‘I know that, mom. It’s just like… I don’t know… I like reading those stories. I love writing them…’
‘I can tell,’ she smiled encouragingly.
‘But I’d never have written them if I thought I’d be discovered; least of all by you.’
‘Oh, Ben, you’re just exploring and discovering and investigating yourself and the world around you. I’ll be the first to admit that those taboos certainly are exciting. And when you wrote about them you put so much love into them. I’m glad I found out. If anything I want this to be a less guilty pleasure. So I encourage it. Keep writing. You have my blessing.’
‘Really?’ he asked and his eyes brightened, almost begged to know that she wasn’t just saying these things. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Don’t say anything. Just be confident and know that the object of your affections is now your number one fan.’ Ben laughed, couldn’t help it. She was just saying it. But she shook her head and smiled. ‘Really, Ben,’ she assured, ‘I want that sequel.’
‘You really mean it?’ Tammy nodded then lowered her face to kiss the back of his hand.
‘But what we really need to talk about is how this affects us as a family.’
‘What do you mean?’ he asked. Apprehension overcame Ben.
‘You like writing stories about sons having sex with their mothers… And I like fantasising about mothers having sex with their sons…’
Tammy raised her eyebrows, letting the resulting silence speak for itself. ‘I don’t know much about real life people who find themselves in that situation, but how does that make you feel?’ she went on.
‘I’ll have to think about that, mom. It’s a hell of a lot to take on board,’ Ben said. ‘How about you? What do you feel about that?’
‘I think it puts us in a very unique position,’ Tammy concluded. ‘Because we’re not only discovering ourselves, but we’re discovering that we’re both okay with it. But what else will we discover if we keep going down that road, knowing what we know and consenting to it?’
‘I’m afraid of misunderstanding you, mom,’ Ben said. ‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’
‘I’m just talking about understanding what we know now; that we have fantasies about each other. And I think that they’re perfectly natural to have, but do you think they might lead somewhere?’
Ben was shocked. He didn’t know if his brimming nerves were caused by his beautiful mother’s frank openness or by the fear of crossing lines that maybe they shouldn’t have. He fished for the answer, shaking his head and looking everywhere but her soft gaze.
‘You’re worrying again, babe,’ Tammy reminded him. ‘Just follow your heart. If anything I taught you that much.’
‘It’s just so much to take in,’ he croaked.
‘That’s what she said,’ she quipped, recalling the part of the story about being impaled on her son’s cock. She breathed a hum and decided to keep her mouth shut a while longer, maintaining that gaze. ‘We’ll forget about it for now,’ Tammy decided finally. ‘But I want one thing. I want you to write a new story for Literotica…’
‘Okay, what will it be about,’ Ben blushed and melted under her aroused and hardened stare.