186

In time they resolved to turn over a new leaf!
Ray was definitely not coming back. His shady manipulations and his hidden agendas exposed, they were just the cherry on top of the cake that had long ago turned stale. But if the deal hadn’t been sealed by now, that’d have done it.
He was gone for good, no matter what the future held, and that was as good a place as any to make resolutions, because it seemed defeatist and derogatory to live in his shadow, living the way they had when he was still there, as though keeping his place warm when he had no place there.
No, Stevie was not forcing her son out of the house out of some false sense of protection. And no, neither was she interested in getting back out there on the dating scene. She had decided that she liked being alone, at least for now, in the company of her son.
So she made it perfectly clear that he could stay for as long as he wanted to. Unlike other families that pressured their offspring out into the world, she didn’t see why he couldn’t find his place in the world while still having this place to call home.
If he could live there with the knowledge of her lifetime kink. If he couldn’t, wouldn’t the goal then be to rebuild that bridge? Just as Stevie could never have disowned her son, she would never have imagined the emotional catastrophe of being disowned as the woman that had brought him up into the world.
Their new leaf was inked with one very brave constitution. Nothing was off limits. Whatever they wanted to know about each other, they would talk about it. Frankness was the object, frankness and honesty and openness.
This was now becoming more a unique living arrangement than a traditional family hierarchy, as a result. Live liberally and take responsibility conservatively. Was that not the ideal way for adults to live amongst adults after all?
Stevie hadn’t done the former for much of her adult life – living liberally – but when she did, it had quickly descended into an ill-fated juggling act. What was the difference now?
The difference was simply a state of mind, because Stevie had turned today’s family home into yesterday’s prison cell, making Lee the bearer of her struggles and strains; which was going to hold him back in the long run.
On the subject of incest, she didn’t have to know the technical ins and outs of suffocating her boy through emotional incest, the facilitator of many a worse crime. He had never been her Oedipus. She had never been his Jocasta. It was never a power game over mind and emotions.
Ray had been the power player, so the conclusion dictated. If he had been there to represent himself, pulled up before judge and jury, he would have tried to gaslight his way out, and to project his faults onto Stevie, who was admittedly weak.
But that spoke volumes for the type of man he had been. Because somebody was weak in any way, did that justify manipulation? What kind of man saw fair game in controlling vulnerability rather than making up for what his woman might lack?
Any man with a weakness would, after all, be honoured that a woman with strengths in many other respects should feel right by carrying the torch where it was necessary, and all Stevie had ever wanted was to raise Lee right and otherwise to have a little happiness and stability.
But ever since his departure, free from Ray she had inadvertently locked herself down in the absence of his authority, and for other reasons she was yet to share.
She and her son had also, for a time, locked each other out, but that was changing now. Ongoing talk therapy had also helped to transform her outlook beyond the secrets she had freed.
Ever proving to be mature beyond his time, Lee had made one more stipulation, and that was something he wouldn’t take no for an answer to.
‘Don’t be afraid of your secrets and don’t be afraid to tell me anything,’ he had said. ‘It’s nobody else’s business and I promise that nothing goes beyond these walls.’
What a loaded statement!
There was already hesitation in her promise not to be afraid, as she shouldered those words, but in time she’d come to terms. Her libido alone would drag her to that point if she tried to block it out, and especially as she began to grow comfortable fantasising at night about her favourite kink…
Fantasising about so many possibilities between she and her son, and the realities that could follow!
Sometimes she would fantasise about seducing him in a number of scenarios. Sometimes it would be Lee that initiated the seduction, if he didn’t outright just read her mind and take her.
Accidental incest scenarios brought her great excitement as well. One thing that had played on her mind as of late was born of an occurring situation between them. During a recent play fight he had grown hard in his pants. They were in the right position to initiate sex easily. All that was needed was a lack of clothes.
Stevie had run through that scenario a number of times, imagining what had happened if maybe she’d have been wearing nothing but a flimsy thong, maybe sporting a fat little camel toe that would have been hard for him to miss.
What if he had only been wearing his underwear, now stretched thin and tented over his raging stiffy as he “accidentally” prodded his mother’s dampening camel toe.
‘Need to get up?’ she would ask as she had that night.
Avoiding the fact that he clearly already “up”, ‘yup,’ he would awkwardly reply, as her thighs remained clamped around his hips, holding him snugly against her.
She would let him go eventually, only Lee would then pull his big cock out and slap its heavy shaft and head against her mons pubis. Two can play this game, she would think. It especially takes two to play this particular game, she would correct herself. And then she would pull the damp gusset of her thong aside and invite him to take the next natural step.
That was just one instance of the power of her filthy mind. Stevie had a knack for creating the steamiest, filthiest encounters in her head, and for some reason there wasn’t a man outside of their personal life who could possibly replace Lee.
Of course, he didn’t have to know about that, but it seemed now that maybe he did, the way he knew everything just by reading her expressions, her words, and her body language.
Stevie was going through changes she never imagined, just coming to terms with herself and learning that maybe she wasn’t the monster she thought she was. If anything she was more a functioning addict, and not the worst of any sort.
The substitute was also not so bad. Heroin addicts had their methodone. Stevie had her imagination. Answers on a postcard which one gets to keep their teeth, and the winner gets a free pleasure cruise through Literotica’s finest!
But Lee had insisted on a few occasions by now that at least he felt it was actually quite a natural desire to many, despite her ever so gradually diminishing reluctance to believe him. It wasn’t hurting anyone, least of all the son who also admitted that it was all part of 21st century sexual liberation to be able to safely explore many taboos.
Not so long ago a journalist had asked the actor Tom Hardy had he ever slept with another man. His reply went cleverly along the lines of, “of course I have, I’m an actor!” Stevie had scoffed at that little anecdote. Imagine in twenty years time that an actor no different had been asked, “have you ever slept with your mother?” and answered in the same fashion.
Ridiculous but maybe only time would tell if it would prove to be relevant!
So when the urge took her to seek pleasure in her favourite fantasy material, she would just go ahead and do it, because why worry anymore about simple harmless fantasy?
Lee was no stranger, within the bounds of her imagination, to the delights of his sinful mother’s flesh. In her most private sexual episodes, he knew her body inside and out, and he was very confident in showing it.
Ironically real life was bearing parallels. Lee’s own glorious show of sexual confidence with Kit had played its part. But he was also changing and becoming more bold, although not controlling. Lee was beginning to show her more affection for one, verbal and physical, and he was also beginning to dress more confidently – or to be more laid back in greater states of undress. He wasn’t the only one…
It was his fault if anything. These days she was just working with the material she had to hand. If that required that she flirt with her son and to flaunt herself in letting go of her doubts and fears, then there were worse things to live with.