“What?!” Kelly cried out as she stood from her seat. She spun about where she stood and kicked an end table as hard as she could and sent the contents that were on it all over the living room. She turned to me, “Are you fucking kidding me? This was your fucking solution? This is how you chose to solve things? Instead of being a fucking man and choosing between the two of us, you decide to run from having to make the decision at all?!”
“It isn’t a decision any brother should be making!” I snapped back at her. “Have you totally lost it? I shouldn’t have done what I did!”
“But, you did! We all made that decision! I know Emma would disagree with some of what we did, but she made the same fucking decision.” Kelly stood defiant in front of me and crossed her arms as she looked into my eyes, “I don’t accept that decision.”
“Rob…” Emma said softly as she choked back her tears. “Is this what you really want to do?”
“What the fuck, Emma!?”
Emma held her hand up to calm Kelly, “We have to respect each other. Let him answer.”
“Girls, I am the source of the problem.” I said. The words felt bitter when they left my mouth. I wanted to love them both. I wanted to be with the two of them for the rest of my life, living the way I want to live, but it was impossible. “I know it will hurt at the beginning, but the both of you will be fine. I will come home every weekend to work on the house and make sure things are alright with you guys. But, I have to do this.”
“I won’t allow it.” Kelly stated.
“Kelly, me being here isn’t healthy for the three of us. I made my decision. That’s final.” I said and stood from the recliner. I looked over to Emma. She stood slowly and walked over to me. She offered me a warm smile that she conjured with the best of her ability and hugged me.
“You’re letting him do this?!” Kelly cried out as her face was covered with tears.
“If it is his decision, then I will stand by him. He made his choice. He chose the high-road. He didn’t play favorites. He is right; we are all to blame for this mess.” Emma said matter of factly. She looked up at me and pulled my head down for a kiss. My heart wanted to burst. Every bit of me struggled for control. Emma broke the kiss and took a step back away from me. “I have to go to work. I can help you pack tomorrow. You never knew how to fold your clothes properly.”
“Thanks, Emma.”
She started walking away from the living room. She stopped at the entrance to the kitchen and looked back. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” I said.
In an instant, Kelly and I were alone in the living room. I turned to her, “Kelly, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear.”
“No, it fucking wasn’t.”
“What did you expect?”
She looked over at me as she wiped away some tears, “I expected you to choose.”
“Oh?”
She nodded.
“Why? You said you already knew who I would choose.”
She nodded.
“If you knew, then why would you want me to?”
“Even though I knew it was Emma and always Emma, hearing you saying it in front of us would have been the final decision. It would have been some kind of closure.”
“Then, your feelings would have been crushed.”
“They already are.”
“Then why?”
Kelly scoffed through her tears and rolled her eyes. “Even though it drives me nuts that Miss Goodie Two Shoes always gets what she wants, deep down inside, I know she deserves it. I’m not wife material. She is. She is motherly. She is everything I wished I could be. I’m not a total asshole or a cock raging slut… I love my sister. It would have been nice seeing her be with someone she loves more than life itself.”
“Kelly…”
“You took the moral high-road and did what we both wouldn’t have expected you to ever do.” She said as the trembling from crying faded from her voice. “When do you move?”
“I was offered the position a while ago. My boss has been waiting for me to make a decision. So, I am going to call him up tonight and make arrangements.”
Kelly walked over to me. Her eyes were wet from crying, but looked amazing still. She placed a hand on my chest at first and then her head. She slowly wrapped her arms around my waist and held me tightly. “What are we going to do without you?”
“You two will be fine. Besides, mom being the way she is, she doesn’t need all this drama here. You two have to look after her still.”
“I know.”
“You know I will always love you two.”
She nodded, “I know.”
“Don’t hate me.”
“I hate myself.” Kelly muttered.
I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “I hate me too.”
*
Boxes littered my room. My boss was ecstatic when I told him I would take the position and gave me the time to move my things into the office that was above the shop. There wasn’t a crew working in the building yet, so it wouldn’t be a problem getting my things in there. I sat on my bed and watched in silence as Emma folded my things neatly into boxes. She knelt quietly facing away from me pulled things out of my drawers and folded them.
She turned to face me, “Rob, will you be needing this hoodie? You haven’t worn it in a while.”
“Do you want it?”
“May I? It would be nice have a token of you.”
“I’m not moving to another country, Emma. I’m across town. Like I said, I will be stopping home every weekend. And with the pay raise that comes with the position, I will be able to help get mom the better medication she needs.”
“Still… I would like to have the hoodie.”
I nodded, “Sure.”
Emma set the hoodie aside and continued to pack my things.
“Have you seen Kelly?” I asked her.
“She left early this morning for a ride on her bike.”
The feeling in the room was heavy. I couldn’t look at Emma without feeling like I ruined everything. But, she kept a brave face for me. She stood up slowly and turned to look at me. She was dressed in her usual home fair, yoga pants and a t-shirt. I looked up at her and tried to smile, but didn’t have the heart for it. She stepped towards me and knelt down in front of me. She placed her hands on me knees and sighed.
“Rob, I know what you are doing is for the greater good. But, that doesn’t stop me from still loving you.”
“I know.”
“As much as it pains me to see you leave, I do think it is the right decision.
“If I didn’t do anything, we could all still be living together like a happy family.”
“Would we be able to?” she asked.
I looked down into her sapphire jewels and saw that she was holding back tears. “I would only hope we could have.”
“I…” she said softly. “… I would have told you eventually. These things are inevitable.”
“What?”
She nodded.
“Emma…”
She nodded again, “It is true.”
I sighed heavily. Emma stood up slowly and stepped closer to me. She nudged my legs apart and wrapped her arms around me. She held my head against her chest.
“Hear me, Rob. Hear my heart. It beats for you. No matter how far you are from me, or how close you think are, I will always love you. This hearts beats for your touch. This heart beats to be near you. Remember that.” She said softly. She lifted me head up and kissed me deeply. I never felt emotion like this. It felt as if she poured all her emotion and energy into the kiss. Slowly, she broke the kiss and took a deep breath. “I have to get a few more boxes from downstairs and check on mom. You can move those to your car and take it to your place. It will take me some time to get the next set packed.”
“Thanks.” I said as I watched her walk out of my room. “Emma?”
She stopped at my door and looked back.
“I love you too.”
She nodded, “I know.”