I was sick to my stomach when I got out of my car. I looked up; some of the lights in the house were on. Kelly didn’t say anything to me after that night with Emma. She had kept to herself and did whatever were her responsibilities in the house before disappearing into her room. I walked slowly from my car to the back of the house hoping that maybe a few days without confrontation will cool things down with her. I stepped into the house and l found the kitchen empty. I kicked off my work boots and walked over to the refrigerator. Opening it, I found a container of food with a note that had a smiley face drawn on it. Emma must have left it for me before she went off to Starbucks for the evening shift. I popped the container into the microwave and sat down at the kitchen table. I rubbed my aching muscles as I listened to the hum of the microwave as it cooked my food.
“So, I guess you got to fix that problem of yours.”
Kelly’s voice startled me; almost sending me through the ceiling. I turned to face Kelly. She stood in the hallway leaning against a wall. She was dressed in a pair of gym shorts that showed off a generous view of her legs and a tank top that revealed her ample breasts. Her hair was tied up into a tight pony tail. She looked at me with hurt in her eyes waiting for me to say something. “Hey.”
“Hey? That is all you have to say to me?!”
“Mom is sleeping, keep your voice down.” I said to her hoping she would calm down a little for the sake of our mother’s health.
“She is out cold. A bomb can go off outside of the house and she will sleep through it.” Kelly said as she walked into the kitchen. She grabbed the chair across from me and pulled it out roughly. She sat down, crossed her arms and waited.
“Kelly, I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“So that is an excuse to fuck Emma?”
“Kelly, I didn’t mean to.”
“What the fuck do you mean you didn’t mean to? Was this someone else’s home? It’s our home! Were you that drunk that you walked in here thinking it was a whorehouse for you to cherry pick what you wanted to stick you cock into?” Kelly said heated.
“No.”
“Then why with Emma?” she asked. “After all that shit you said in the car, you went and fucked Emma?”
“Kelly, I didn’t mean to.”
“Ugh!” Kelly grunted as she got up from her chair. She picked up the partially empty fruit basket Emma liked to keep apples in and threw it at me. “I can’t believe you!”
As I picked up the apples that flew out of the basket, Kelly stormed out of the kitchen. I dropped them and chased after her into the living room. She had a head full of steam and I knew things were only going to get worse if I didn’t calm her temper from flaring up even more. “Kelly!”
She stopped quickly in the living room catching me off guard. Kelly turned and threw a punch at me. It connected with my rib cage causing me double over.
“Fuck!” I grunted.
“I hate you!” she cried out as she started to charge up the stairs. I quickly regained my composure and chased after her. In an act of desperation, I reached out and grabbed her ankle as she made it to the landing at the top of the steps and yanked. Kelly tripped face first onto the soft carpeting that lined our hallways. “Dick!”
I scrambled up the steps while maintaining my hold on Kelly’s ankle. She began to kick and squirm her way out of my hold, but I was too strong for her. As I made it up to her and pressed my body down on top of hers to make her stop. “Kelly, calm down. Can you please calm down?!”
Kelly’s temper was always the worst out of all of us. She was the fierce one in the family that lived by her emotions and reactions. She never cared about the outcome. I pinned her hands down as I straddled her using my height and weight advantage to keep her in place.
“Get off me.” Kelly said as she began to cry.
“Calm down.”
“Fuck you, Rob.” Kelly blurted. “All that shit you said in the car and you just ended up fucking Emma! I hate you!”
“I thought she was you!” I cried out.
Kelly stopped. She looked into my eyes as I eased my control over her. “What did you just say?”
“Kelly, I thought she was you.” I said. I got off of her and sat on the carpet of landing. “I was so drunk that night. All I did when I was out with the guys from work was drink and think about you. I’m not proud of what I did.”
“You’re unbelievable.” She said with disgust. “Emma is so innocent and sweet. How can you go in there and do that?”
I looked over to her, “I didn’t mean to.”
Kelly sat up with fists balled up and ready to fight for her sister. She might have been angry at the moment, but Kelly had always made sure no one hurt her twin. “You forced her? Did you force Emma to…”
I shook my head. “No.”
Kelly sat there quietly with her legs pulled up to her chest now. Her legs looked almost completely bare with the shorts that she wore rode up past her butt. I felt ashamed as I couldn’t control my gaze. Kelly took a deep breath, “So… she was willing?”
I nodded.
Tears streamed down Kelly’s face as she looked away from me. “It isn’t fair. It really isn’t fucking fair. Emma was always the perfect one. Everyone loved her more. Dad loved her more. I was alright with that, I knew I wasn’t the ideal daughter compared to her, but I always thought you loved me just as much as you loved her.”
“Kelly, it was a mistake…”
“Was it?”
“Yes.” I said. “I told you, all I was thinking about at the bar was you. I couldn’t get you out of my head. But, what happened between Emma and me was an accident.”
“How is she going to feel about that?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t know. I have been thinking about this for days. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.”
“She didn’t push you away?”
“No.” I said.
Kelly scoffed as she rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe Miss Goodie Two Shoes gets her way again. All my life, I have been in her shadow. All my life, all I did was swim… no drown in the wake of her success and achievements. She is always so good and wholesome. I would have never thought that she would have let you fuck her. Does she have the same feelings as I do?”
I shrugged, “I’m not sure. Kelly, I love the both of you. You guys are family. You guys are my sisters. What I did last night was wrong. I can’t justify it just by saying I was drunk. But, that morning when you came in… it woke something in me. That kiss in the car, it did something to me.”
Kelly looked over to me. Her eyes red from crying, “You have the same feelings?”
“I can’t say one hundred percent the same.”
“So, you’re just after sex?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?” Kelly demanded.
“Kelly, this isn’t some television show where we can have a bunch of people write us into a happy ending. What we are feeling for each other? It’s wrong. What I did with Emma was definitely wrong. How I feel is a little more complex. Our situation isn’t necessarily common place.”
Kelly pointed at me, “You stepped over the line already Rob.”
“I know, but you spurred me on.”
Kelly sat back. She frowned for a moment and then nodded, “You’re right. I’m sorry for doing that.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
Kelly pulled her pony tail loose and ran her hands through her hair. She shook her head, “This is all wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”
“I know.”
“What do you know, Rob?” Kelly asked as she looked up at me. “What do you know about how I feel? Or how I have felt for so many years? I looked up to you as the only man I truly trusted. You were the only man that ever qualified for someone that I can love. Dad? He was just a male in the house. I am telling you… he never loved me like her loved Emma. Sweet little Emma…”
“Why? Why me? There are plenty of good men around here?”
“Plenty?”
“Plenty.”
Kelly sighed heavily and shook her head slowly. “Rob, there are no good men in this town. Trust me; I have had my time to find some. All they ever wanted was an easy lay. All they ever saw in me was just a sexual object to be used and tossed aside.”
I took a deep breath, “Kelly, that isn’t true.”
“Oh?”
“I’m a good man or trying to be. I know good men.”
“Taken?”
I nodded, “Sadly, yes.”
Kelly scoffed, “Then as usual, you are taking out of your ass. And, Rob?”
I looked over to Kelly.
“You are not a good man. Not as good as Emma and I thought you were.”