“Te iubesc.”
I frowned and looked at him. He just smiled like crazy. I was about to speak when he kissed me.
“You can think about it more.” He stroked my hair. “I just want to hear your thoughts; that’s why I asked, because this is about us and will be us in the near future. They might want us to get married because they are just worried about their wealth, but I am not after it. I am after your insight because you are the one I’ll be asking to marry. I am not dating you for anything else, Jothea. This might be overwhelming for you now, but I understand; you’re still in your early twenties. I’m fine waiting,” he explained, staring at me.
He caressed my cheek again. I thought he was done talking, but he wasn’t. I am happy every time he explains his thoughts. I feel like I’m a very important person. “We don’t have to get married because they want us to. I am not pressuring you either. I want you to marry me when you are ready, and if you really want me to be your husband.”
“Do you really want me to be your wife?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I can see in his eyes that he is not joking at all. This is fucking overwhelming, just like what he said. Are men in their late twenties like this? When you like someone, do you immediately want to get married?
“I’ll think about it, Ismael.”
“Of course, my love.”
He kissed my forehead before letting me wash up. He told me he’d follow, so I went to the shower room alone. Even their bathrooms are breathtakingly flawless, made with unique styles that I don’t even want to touch. My dirty hand doesn’t have the right to touch it. My poor sweat would stain them.
I heard the door shut. Ismael came in to take a bath with me. We were sharing the water coming from that beautiful showerhead. I can’t stop thinking. When we get married, will we always be together like this?
He was touching me and caressing every inch of my body, helping me to bathe. The water is cold, but I feel a strange warmth because of his touches.
And then we moved to the bathtub to scrub each other’s backs. We lingered in the shower for a while before deciding to go up.
I saw the white dress ready on the bed. I looked at Ismael. He just smiled while wearing his clothes.
“Help me zip, Ismael,” I ordered him while pointing to the back of the dress I was wearing that I couldn’t close.
I closed my eyes when his hand touched my back. “Touch the zipper, not my back.”
“Sorry, I can’t help it.”
He pushed the blocking hairs away from my back, thinking he would close it, but he kissed my shoulders and the back of my neck.
“Ismael… stop it.”
“Let me admire your back for a moment,” he whispered, under his breath. I just let him. He is planting small kisses behind me and even left some marks. He doesn’t really stop. I am convinced that he is addicted to me.
“Are you sure it wasn’t the lust you’re feeling towards me? What if it wasn’t love but lust?” I moaned.
“I know the difference between them, Jothea. Don’t try to use my words against me.”
He seemed annoyed by what I said, so he closed my clothes completely. Is he that annoyed? Did I irritate him?
I nervously went down to the dining room with Ismael. Shit. My death is near.
I saw an old man who looked like Ismael, while on the right was a beautiful woman next to Isa.
“Good morning,” I greeted them as I approached. They are both smiling, like I am the answer to their long-time prayers. I never felt welcome like this.
“You must be Miss Jothea Alvandra; you look so stunning, hija,” Ismael’s father greeted me.
“Yes, she’s very pretty. She’s perfect for our eldest Ismael,” Ismael’s mother commented.
Ismael pulled out the chair for me so I could sit next to him. He is on the left side of his father.
“How old are you, hija?”
“Twenty, sir.”
I thought they would be offended at my age, but I heard the loud laughter of Ismael’s mother. “Perfect! The younger the better! Right, honey?”
Ismael’s mom held the hand of Mr. Mondalla. They don’t look like divorced parents. They seem to love each other based on their body language. There seems to be no fight between them. Unlike my family, who just join forces whenever they try to bully me. I never thought that some family would treat me like a gift when I have always been treated like trash.
“Are you healthy, hija?”
I glanced at Ismael, who was currently silent. I remembered that I was smoking and drinking alcohol. I don’t know how to answer.
“I think sister Thea is very healthy. I heard them last night. They might conceive their first child.”
I was amazed at Isa’s speech. I was about to call her when Ismael did it for me. Everyone was silent.
“Well, I’m glad that you’re having intimate affection with each other,” said Ismael’s mother. “You should maintain that attraction, sweetie, so you can conceive at least twelve children, so Ismael won’t have to find another woman to have children with.”
“Mother,” snapped Ismael, trying to stop her mom.
I felt sad when I remembered the reason why Mr. Mondallahad wanted to divorce her. So maybe he is concerned about my health. So, was it really necessary to bear twelve children for their family? I can’t seem to understand. More children, more heirs? Many will try to grow money, right? And when there are more children, the family could grow more, especially if the majority of the children are male.
Can I do twelve? What if not? Will Ismael find a new wife?
I should quit smoking and drinking now.
“I still don’t agree to your wishes,” Ismael stated in his serious tone. I was lost in fantasy.
“Why, son? Are you still mad at us because your mom and I broke up? I thought you understood now,” his father expressed.
“I don’t understand, ’cause if it was set that I would be the inheritor, why bother to have another ten children?”
“Because if you don’t accept it, there will be someone next who can be the heir,” answered Mr. Alvandra. “All of my relatives have experienced the same situation with their sons. They exchange wealth for love. They abandon their family. But I am not doing that to you, Ismael, because you are free to marry whoever you want, and I will give you what’s for you. You just have to make sure you will bear twelve children; then I will be at ease and die at peace.”
I bit my lip. A rich family’s conversation at the dinner table is very different compared to a poor one like me, but if you dig in, it was all because of money. The situation is different, but the roots are the same. If not lack of money, then lack of heir.
I don’t want to lead Ismael, but I think it is better for him to follow his father. Even if he doesn’t marry me, it would be better for him to inherit wealth for him because he deserves it. Because if he doesn’t, maybe someone else will benefit.
Well, it is from the perspective of someone in survival mode. But we have different situations in life. Ismael doesn’t need money, which I do. Especially someone like me who has been neglected by her parents and her own family. My last home is no longer safe for me. I don’t know where to go anywhere. I don’t even know if I will make it to next month because my money is limited and I still have to work.
Ismael and I were silent all the way back to Lourdez City. Isa, on the other hand, was left there because she said she wanted to be with her mother.
I looked at the road we were taking. Full of beggars. Even though it was almost afternoon, they were still there on the road begging for alms. I can’t stop thinking that I might be the same in the next few days.
*****
I slowly opened my eyes and saw that I was in the parking lot. As far as I remember, I didn’t have a garage at home, nor did I have a car.
I turned around and saw Ismael looking at me. His face is resting on the steering wheel while gazing at me intently. That’s when I remembered that he was with me. We came from their residence, which I thought for a moment was a dream. He is a rich man, which he kept from me. I kept shrinking myself; no matter how much I talked to him, I had no right.
“Where are we, Ismael?”