At last it was over, he was sucked dry, my orgasm dwindling away to leave me almost unconscious with ecstasy, my body on its own natural high, easing me into a wonderfully relaxed state. I had never climaxed like that with any of my admittedly few lovers before, and the afterglow only served to magnify the rush of love and feelings I had for this beautiful man.
Charlie was still over me, keeping his weight off me, and I opened my eyes to smile up at him, touching his face, his eyelids, tracing the line of his jaw, rubbing my thumbs across his eyebrows, and slipping my finger into his mouth for him to suck and lick. My love for him threatened to burst my heart, it was surging so strong, and all I wanted to do, for the rest of my life, was look up and see that lovely smile and those beautiful eyes first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.
“Thank you, baby-boy” I murmured, and he gave me that melting smile, saying “Thank YOU, Lucy, my beautiful big sister!”
I ran my fingers lightly over his face again, exploring him with my fingertips, avoiding his lips as he tried to catch them, and pulled him down onto me, to kiss him deeply, lovingly, as only a lover could do. I was no longer his sister, and would never again think of myself as such.
“Baby-boy, I want to have your baby, and when we make a baby, can we do it like that?” I whispered into his lips. His eyes glowed vivid, sea-green as he answered me. “Lu, I want so much to make babies with you, however, and whenever, you want. I love you, Beautiful Girl!”
I turned away as tears of happiness rolled out of my eyes, Charlie dipping down to catch them on his tongue, saying “Even your tears are sweet, Lu-Lu!”, making me smile, making me love him even more.
I wanted to sleep now; two raging orgasms in quick succession had left me wiped out, so Charlie withdrew, with the usual towel at the ready as spunk cascaded, and I mean cascaded, out of me. I thought of how quickly I would fall pregnant once I came off the pill, with all that spunk being cannoned into me, the thought giving me a deep warm glow, now I knew exactly how Charlie felt. I could only hope Lorna could come up with a suitably devious scheme to keep Charlie safe and let us remain together.
But I couldn’t sleep; something inside me was ticking, and now it made itself felt. My happiness at having him here with me at last, the emotional residue of two years of fear for him, and my guilt were all still echoing in me, and now the smell and nearness of him was making me think of his need for me, and how, when he’d needed me the most, I wasn’t there for him. I was still emotionally fragile from yesterday, and the heart-bursting intensity of my love for him, my sorrow and guilt over my abandonment of him, my lack of simple faith in his love and need for me, all suddenly combined to outline for me one simple fact; I had abandoned this sweet boy, I had left him to his fate, all the guilt and remorse over what I’d done welling up and swamping me, tears bursting out with harsh and bitter intensity, hot and shameful, expressing a guilt that words were not sufficient to describe.
Charlie stared at me in shock, and hugged me close. “Lu-Lu, what’s the matter, why are you crying, what’s happened?”
I could only hold him as I cried for all the days I had lost with him, all the days he’d waited to die alone, thinking I didn’t care, all the comfort I should have given him, my need for him so great, and my fear of his loss so unspeakable that words wouldn’t come. All I knew was that Charlie may have forgiven me, loved me, wiped it from his mind, but I couldn’t; I had come so near to losing him that my heart had almost stopped with the shock of it, and I couldn’t forgive myself for leaving him to think he was alone. All the might-have-beens queued up to tear at me, one after another, beating at me with hands sharp with blame and guilt for my desertion of my beautiful boy, and I cried for the loss and loneliness he had endured, until I could cry no more. Charlie, concern burning in his lambent emerald eyes, held me close in his lap, hugging me like a baby, rocking me, comforting me with his nearness and touch, letting me reassure myself that, for now at least, he was here, and he was safe, and he was mine. I pulled myself close to him, whispering my love for him, asking his forgiveness all over again. Charlie’s lips and gentle hands, his soft fingers forgave me all over again, making me want him with a fresh rush of love, shocking in its intensity. His arms held me close, enfolding me in his love, and I burrowed down into him, taking shelter in his love and concern, listening to his soft voice rumble in his chest as he soothed me, calmed me, made me quiet again.
We awoke together a few hours later, my head clear and lucid, Charlie wide awake in an instant, concern and worry flooding over his face as he held me close, looking into my eyes, his poor face stained with tears I hadn’t heard, making me love him even more than I already did, if that was possible.
“Lu-Lu, are you OK, you had me really worried there.” he said, smoothing my hair away from my face, kissing me gently on my face, my lips, my forehead, the tip of my nose. “Was it something I did? Whatever it was, I’m sorry, I won’t ever make you cry again, I promise, I swear to God. Lu, please don’t cry anymore!” he whispered, almost in tears himself, his sweet face twisted in anguish and guilt, as though he’d done something wrong!
“You didn’t do anything, baby-boy, “I reassured him, unable to look him in the eyes, “I’m still not over yesterday, what I found out yesterday. I promised you then I would never leave you again, and I never will. It just hit me last night just how much I have to make up to you, what I owe you for the things I said and did. I don’t deserve you, you sweet, sweet boy, and I wonder how you can be so forgiving, so ready to love and forgive me, when I did such unforgiveable things to you, the only man I love. I really, truly don’t deserve you, and I have to learn how to forgive myself, really forgive myself. Will you help me?”
Charlie looked at me levelly, holding my face the better to look directly into my eyes. “Lu, there’s nothing to forgive, ever. All else is forgotten. The past has gone, things have changed between us, and all this… this stuff, means nothing anymore. You have to let it go, because it means nothing. Now it’s you and me, starting out again, OK? Life part two, Chapter One.”
How did my little brother get to be so wise?
To show me he meant it, he pulled me up to him, kissing me without groping of fondling me, his kiss soft, gentle and loving, expressing in action the words he had said from his heart, letting me know that we were sealing a pact, making a deal, joining ourselves to each other in a partnership that was for the rest of our lives, both of us together from now on. I understood all of this in a flash, returning his kiss no less lovingly, letting him know that I had let go what had distressed me most, and that I would not go there again. We kissed and touched each other, starting as we meant to go on, completely absorbed in and enjoying every little aspect of each other, features, physique, scent, sound of our breathing together, as though we were newly-met. I looked into Charlie’s beautiful eyes, a pure and vivid green like summer grass, green crystals, stained glass with the sun behind it, touching and examining every line and plane of his face, wondering at his sudden smile, the boy showing through from behind the man he’d become, committing this moment to memory. Charlie leaned in to kiss me again, hardening as his need for me grew, and I could feel myself moistening, my lubricant flowing as the erotic charge grew, as the acts of holding and touching transformed into caressing and fondling, lips and tongues replacing hands and fingertips, kisses becoming wilder and harder, lips pressed together as our tongues fenced and danced inside the other’s mouth. Charlie broke our kiss to run his hands over me, sliding them down to my buttocks and pulling them apart, making my anus gape lewdly, making me gasp and rub my cunt hard against his erect cock, frigging myself against him, smiling at him in invitation. He raised up over me, his distended cock hanging between us, and I grasped it, aiming it for him, and groaning in satisfaction as he slowly sank into me, sliding himself into me up to the hilt. He rested there, giving me time to get used to it all over again, feeling his pulse in the flesh embedded in me, and then the slow withdrawal, the delightful friction as he slowly pushed back in, speeding up as I bucked and rammed my hips against him, grinding my clitoris against him as he penetrated and withdrew, sawing his cock in and out of me, until, at last, my orgasm broke, lights chasing though my head as tremors of pleasure chased through my body, finally crying out loud in release, the blood roaring in my ears and my heart almost bursting with the intensity of it.