I was speechless, absolutely lost for words, and he saw and accepted that. His hand clapped on my shoulder told me everything I needed to know; later, when things had quieted down a little, when a little privacy was to be had, that would be the time to tell him what he needed to know, what had happened, and where we were; right then was neither the time nor the place.
It was with almost a physical effort, an abrupt changing of tracks, that Uncle James and his tiny, beautiful wife, my aunt Anh, turned to the others as they hugged and fussed over Shari and Yaz and all the kids, and I could see what Jamie was talking about; his mother really was the perfect grandmother, gentle and affectionate and lovable, and all the kids could feel it too, I could actually see them bonding with her.
She hugged and beamed at Ricky and me, smiling and telling us how much we looked like Barbara, how much we looked like Jamie, her admiration of Yaz and Shari; she even did that thing Mum Julia had done the first time she met the girls: she brushed their curls back off their faces so she could admire them properly.
Her reception of Nicky was entirely different, though, magical, almost mystical; somehow she knew what Barbara had meant to him, and what he’d meant to her. I watched something indefinable pass between them, a different sort of connection entirely as Anh reached up and touched his cheek, smiling at him even as their gazes locked.
“You are Barbara first son, you are part of this family too, this time is for you too,” she murmured. “I know your poor mummy, I know her when she still girl, when bad man come and steal her heart. Your heart still broken for her, but now you are with her family, her family your family, now she can rest. She is at peace now, you bring her peace, listen to your heart and you will know I am right. I can see you love her very much, I know she love you and wish for heartbreak to end. Come, sit now with your family, unburden your heart and share her with us; we help you heal.”
I watched in astonishment as Nicky’s eyes welled-up, but Jamie’s mother reached up and thumbed his eyes as casually as if she’d been doing it all his life, before patting his chest over his heart and taking his hand.
“Please to come sit with me; husband meeting brothers and family, he know what has happened, he showing them there is no bad feelings, what they do they do as children, cannot blame children all their life for doing childish things; they are children of sister, so they are part of him too. My Nguye’t tell me what happen, uncle will want to speak with you alone, you have much to tell him, there is much he need to know, things that only you will know, you must share her with him, give both your heart peace.”
With that she took his hand and led him to one of the large couches arranged around the room, and sat next to him, his hand between hers. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, and then she hugged him close.
“She used to do that with me when I was young,” Jamie said quietly in my ear, “Just keep watching, I don’t know how she does it, but she’ll make it better; just being with her makes it all seem better. Look, he’s already falling for her.”
I watched closely and yes, something really had changed with Nicky, something was there I’d never seen before; tension and the shreds of hurt that he’d carried around with him so long they’d become part of him were falling away and dissipating; somehow Anh had gotten through that last armour Nicky kept around his heart without even really trying; my aunt truly was a special lady.
I was fascinated watching my aunt break down the last of Nicky’s pain and loss until Jamie nudged me into introductions to family and extended family.
First was a beautiful girl with a sculpted, glossy black quiff and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen; she was almost a dead-ringer for Nia, and when Nia introduced me to her as my cousin Cherie, my aunt Rosa’s girl, she hugged me hard.
Cherie and Nia led me around the room, reeling off names, family and adopted family: there was Mark and his wife, a tiny, pretty little blonde girl, Julie, Nia’s adopted brother and sister. Cherie’s fiance, Danny, a medical student down in Southampton was next, then a man called ‘Darryl’, Julie’s cousin and yet another member of Nia’s extended family, and his gorgeous chestnut-haired wife, Lena and their three kids.
Last, but not least a dazzlingly beautiful young brunette who was the spitting image of Lena, her niece Allie, another medical student. Chatting with Nia I gradually came to realise that Darryl was also a doctor, a heart surgeon no less, in Bristol, and while he was actually Julie’s cousin, he and Lena considered themselves part of my family too.
Another little tidbit I picked up was that Allie was Darryl’s baby sister, as well as Lena’s niece, which puzzled me, then it struck me; of course, if Lena was Allie’s aunt, and Allie was Darryl’s sister, then Lena must be Darryl’s aunt too, even if she was obviously younger than him; hot damn, they were the same as us!
Darryl grinned as he saw understanding dawning, and took my arm.
“Let me give you some background, Bobby, this family has some… unusual history, so let me explain… ”
As we chatted, he filled me in on certain things, parts of my family’s story that now fell into place; he told me about him and Lena, their childhood together, his reconciliation with his birth-mother, Lena’s older half-sister, how he and his aunt, his father’s sister, had been looking for his cousins, Mark and Julie, the children of his Aunt Sandra. When they eventually stumbled across the clues that led to them, it was because Nia and Jamie made it happen. They had made Darryl aware of what Julie and Mark’s lives had been like, how they had been neglected and abused by their mother since early childhood, a mother who’d hidden them away from the rest of their family for no other reason than her alcoholism and increasing paranoia and, eventually, dementia.
Darryl told me how they had learned from Nia and Jamie that Julie and Mark were together, they were a couple, and they were happy at last. Nia’s mother had adopted them both, Julie had always been part of her family, she was Nia’s best friend since early childhood, but Mark was even more traumatised by what his mother had done to him. Anh and my Uncle James had welcomed Mark into their family and made him their son, and his and Julie’s children were Anh’s grandchildren as much as Nia and Jamie’s.
“Julie is my blood family, but Dada Morrison, your Uncle James and Mummy-Anh made us part of their family too; I have a home in Bristol, my own mother lives there, but when we’re here, we have a mother and father here too. This is how this family works, it’s not about who you are or who you’re allowed to be with, it’s about who you love. I know people will think what we do is wrong, and they’re entitled to their opinions, but all of us, Mark and Julie, Nia and Jamie, Lena and me, we know this is right for us; this is our family, warts and all, it’s our place of safety, our support system, and it’s the place where no judgement exists. We’re all happy with the choices we made, and that’s all that matters.”
Lena chose that moment to make her presence known. She put her hand on mine and squeezed gently.
“This is a good family to be a part of, Bobby. Shereen and Yasmin have been telling me how you guys met, what happened, and what you mean to each other, and it’s no different than Darryl and me, or Jamie and Nia, even Sherry and Danny.”
She smiled and took my hands in hers,
“Whatever we are, we’re together because that’s what we want, it works for us, each of us with the one we need to be with; no-one judges or sets standards for what is supposed to be or should be, we just accept. Welcome to your family, Bobby, you, and Rick, and Yasmin and Shereen are an important part of this family; I hope you’ll remember that.”
*****
I have to be honest; at this point I was getting dizzy with all this info-dump, all these people and names, all related to me by blood or by choice, and the din of fourteen or fifteen adults all talking and laughing at once plus at least a dozen excited kids made me wish for ear-defenders and a quiet corner to hide in.
Ashley finally rescued me, towing me into a neutral corner away from the hubbub and found us a couple of stools to sit on and catch our breath. She grinned and pointed with her chin at Yaz laughing and taking Selfies with Uncle James, with his other arm around Ricky, looking more like father and son than uncle and nephew, and Ashley, Julie, and Nia’s kids playing tag with Ricky’s boys in and out of the forest of adult legs surrounding them.
I even spotted Lena’s handsome little boy and my Ayesha playing a complicated little game involving Lego bricks and a lot of giggling in the far corner of the room, oblivious to the hubbub going on around them.
Shari seemed to have disappeared, but then I glimpsed her through the door in the other room with Nia and Julie, all three of them passing several cute little toddlers around , mine included, and talking, swapping little ones from hip to hip, and wiping noses and cooing and chucking little chins.