Sherry reached out and took my hand, her fingertip lightly tracing a meandering path around my palm.
“Danny, I came to Southampton to… to be as far from you as I could get. I just couldn’t be near you, not the way I was feeling, not then. Mum knew, she worked it out, but she chose not to make a big deal out of it; after all, nothing had happened, and if I went away, nothing would ever come of it. At least that was the plan, and then you turned up here and put the kibosh on it! I’m sorry about Mum, I… I couldn’t be there, I just couldn’t. It would have been too much, I’m sorry! I said goodbye in my own way, and I think Mum understood; she knew why I couldn’t be there, she knew what it was doing to me, she understood…”
She sighed, looked me in the eyes and I was shocked to see tears brimming and threatening to spill over from her glorious eyes. What was going on here, and why was she so close to tears? She wiped the backs of her hands across her eyes, and continued.
“It all worked so well; I was doing well, everything was fine and falling into place, and then I heard; Mum told me, you’d won a place at the med school in Southampton, and I couldn’t have that, I couldn’t be in the same place as you Danny, I just couldn’t!”
I recoiled from her. How could she hate me so deeply: what had I ever done to hurt her that she should hate me with such intensity? My head was spinning with the enormity of it; my sister had thrown away her career in medicine rather than be in the same place as me: she’d dropped out and taken a low-paid job rather than share a university campus with me? Why? What had I done to deserve that kind of hatred?
I cringed away from her as far as I could, my own loss and loneliness of the last two years suddenly compounded by the knowledge of why she’d deserted me. I had to ask her, just so I knew.
“Shel… Sherry, what… why… what did I do? Whatever it was, I didn’t know; I’m sorry, I would never hurt you, you’re my big sister, I… I love you, I didn’t mean to hurt you, please don’t hate me. Whatever I did, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… ”
Sherry stared at me in what I could have sworn was shock.
“What? No! No, Danny, you didn’t do anything, Dan, I swear, you did nothing wrong, it was me, all me, I was the reason, not you! Oh baby, come here!”
Suddenly she was holding me, crying as she hugged me tight, and the feel of her arms around me again after so long was almost indescribably wonderful. I held her and soothed her as she cried, wondering what possible reason she could have for not wanting to be anywhere near me, but even to hold her again was, for me, a tiny slice of my own private paradise.
Sherry’s sobs slowly turned to snuffles, then soft murmurs as she tried to speak, but I shushed her, instead handing her tissue after tissue and savouring the feeling of holding my lovely caring sweet wonderful big sister again after so long.
At last, she seemed in control of herself enough to let go of me, and sat back so she could look at me again.
“Every time I’ve seen you these last weeks, I just wanted to grab and hug you, Danny, and tell you how gorgeous you are, how tall you’ve grown, how proud I am of you, how much I missed you! The only reason I didn’t was because I thought you knew what was going on with me, that Mum had told you before… y’know, we lost her, and you’d come to get me! I was waiting for you, but you never did…”
Now she was off in unknown territory again; just what in the hell was she talking about? Time to get to the bottom of this, it was late, and we were talking in circles here…
“Umm, Shel, why would I come and “get” you? What for? Three weeks ago I never even knew you were still in Southampton: you never told me, remember?”
Sherry pulled me close again, hugging me tightly to her.
“Oh Danny, you’re still so sweet, I never stopped thinking about you. That’s why I dropped out when I found out you were coming here, you were coming to So’ton; I thought Mum might have told you, and I really, REALLY couldn’t be anywhere near you!”
We were back to that again. I pulled her off me and held her out so I could see her clearly.
“Sherry, will you just for Chrissake tell me what you’re talking about? All this cryptic bullshit is giving me a severe pain in the arse; this is me, Danny, your brother, so just tell me what it is you’re trying to tell me!”
Sherry looked at me levelly.
“Daniel… Danny, I left home mostly because of you. I had to. I had no choice. Mum and me, we talked about it and talked it over and over, and we decided that the best thing I could do was leave, apply to a medical school as far away as I could get. Southampton accepted me; I couldn’t get into Edinburgh, and even though I was accepted at Birmingham and Leicester, I couldn’t go to either one, both of them would have been too close to home, too close… to you.”
I looked at her quizzically, but said nothing; she had some explaining to do, but now she’d piqued my curiosity; why did she think those places were “too close” to me? What did she think I had that she needed to quarantine herself away from me?
“Danny, I feel so bad saying this to you, and I know you’ll hate me, but I want to be honest with you, the way you asked me, the way you’ve always been honest with me. I had to get away from home because of… of the way I felt about you, the way I’ve always felt about you. Danny, ever since we were young, I’ve been attracted to you, and as we got older, it just got stronger; I wanted you, I used to dream about you. Mum found me crying over you one time, and she got the whole sick story out of me.”
I was shocked to see two large tears roll down her cheeks, her beautiful eyes downcast as she refused to look me in the face.
“Oh Danny, I’m sorry, I know how disgusted you must feel, but I can’t help how I feel; please don’t think I’m some kind of pervert; it’s just… it’s not… I, I can’t help it. I’m sorry, baby, please believe me, I know it’s wrong, I never wanted to feel this way, but I do, and I don’t know how to make it go away!”
I looked at her, hardly able to believe what I was hearing, unsure whether this wasn’t all some obscure prank or put-on she’d cooked-up for my benefit.
“Sherry, are you telling me… you’re in love with me?” I asked her, half-way convinced it was a prank, yet hoping against hope she was telling me the truth; my heart leapt as she nodded.
“Danny, I’m sorry: I tried to not feel this way, really, but I can’t help it. I’m sorry; every time I dated someone I compared them to you, how you ate, or talked, or walked, or laughed, and they never matched up.”
The tears continued to roll down her cheeks as she rattled on, almost gabbling in her haste to say what she wanted to say.
“Oh God, I’m such a low-life, only sick twisted perverts think like that about their little brothers. I didn’t want to tell you, I never thought I’d have to, and then you showed up, and you were all grown-up and just so tall, confident and handsome, even more than I remembered, and it all started over again, only now, now you were an adult, so big, so grown up, a grown man now, so I thought I could lead you on and see if you were interested and if you were we could have something, and you weren’t, you ignored me. I’m so, so sorry I embarrassed you in front of everyone. I’m sorry, please don’t hate me!”
She was crying properly now, big, distressed sobs, and I hurriedly pulled her into me. My head was spinning, but my heart was singing; beautiful, sexy, desirable Sherry, my gorgeous young aunt, my beautiful big sister, the girl of my dreams, wanted me; she wanted me, oh yes, yes, Halle-fucking-luiah!
I pulled her closer still as she cried, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and suddenly she was sitting on my lap and hugging me like it was the most natural thing in the world. I stroked her hair and murmured in her perfect little ear as she cried, telling her it was OK, that I didn’t hate her, that she didn’t make me sick, and that I loved her. I told her that I’d always loved her, and I always would, no matter what, all the while breathing in the intoxicating scent of her, of her hair, her skin, her perfume, the undertones of shower soap and deodorant, being the happiest I’d ever been in my life.
Sherry calmed down as I hugged and caressed her, her lips resting in the crook of my neck as I rocked her gently on my lap, until two facts came to my attention. One, she was lightly kissing my neck, and two, I was getting an erection, and it felt like a good one too. I continued to hug and gently rock her, occasionally gently kissing her hair as I murmured soothing words to her, but I was also enjoying immensely the feel of her grazing on my neck. Sherry was also beginning to shift around on my lap as my erection made itself felt, until it must have become obvious to her what she was sitting on, at which point she began gently squirming, making sure I knew that she knew.
Sherry left off kissing my neck to lift up her head and look into my eyes, her beautiful blue eyes burning like lambent jewels.
“Do you like me, Danny? “she asked, “I mean, if I wasn’t your aunt, sister, whatever it is I am, would you like me? Please, Danny, I have to know!”
With my painfully erect cock poking her solidly in her delectable rump, something she couldn’t have failed to notice, I decided that honesty was, right then, the best policy.
“Shel… Sherry, ever since I was ten years old, you’ve been the only girl I’ve ever dreamed of; I’m in love with you, and I always have been; how sick is that, eh? The most beautiful girl I’ve ever known is my big sister, who’s also my aunt, and she’s the only girl I ever wanted. What a pair we make; there’s you crying over me, and all I’ve been doing for the last ten years is pining for you. I love you Sherry; I just never knew how to tell you, but I guess you had enough problems of your own!”
Sherry’s eyes widened as I made my confession, then she swiveled around to sit astride me, her fingers interlinked behind my neck, her pose bringing her lips level with mine.
“Danny, you’ve never lied to me, ever, so I have to believe you’re not lying now. If you only knew how it feels to hear you say that…”
With that, she leaped forward, her body weight bearing me over backwards, and kissed me, but not a sisterly kiss; this was the real thing, and it went through my head like a blowtorch through butter; the one thing I’d wanted since I was a boy, from the most beautiful girl in the world, and now it was really happening.
My hands automatically slid around her waist, holding her to me, then slipped down to cup and squeeze her lovely show-stopping little rump, pulling her belly to belly with me, something I’d wanted to do and fantasised about all my life. Sherry moaned into my mouth as she ground herself against me, her lips pressing even more tightly against mine, her tongue probing inside my mouth as she writhed and rubbed against me.