“I’d like you to talk to Ricky, babe; him, and Shari, and Yaz. Something happened to Ricky while he was gone, something profound, and it’s all wrapped-up around Yaz and Shari and their mom. I think there’s a story there they all need to tell; Shari’s mom was so badly abused by your psycho father, yet she took Ricky in, his son, she took him and loved him like her own son; why? How did that even happen?”
Nicky looked quizzically at his beautiful sister.
“This is really bugging you, isn’t it, babe? Before you say anything, I know how much you care about him, he’s kinda-sorta your kid brother too, but even that doesn’t give you, me, anyone in this family the right to go rooting around inside him and maybe pulling strings best left untouched; don’t you think he needs to keep some things between himself and his maker? Every man and woman on the planet has things stirring around inside him he doesn’t want to look at too closely, things hidden in dark corners they don’t ever want to think about, why can’t Ricky have those too? Hmm?”
Ashley nodded soberly.
“He should, I’d be the first to agree with you, but maybe he needs to let some of that stuff out, too, maybe share it with us, the people who love him most in the world? The story of our family will never be complete as long as this piece of the puzzle is missing, and it’s one of the most important pieces. When Ricky came home, he brought the girls with him, and now the family’s all together, there’s all the kids, mom and dad now have, to all intents and purposes, eight kids, we’re all interconnected and joined together, then there’s that business with the charm bracelet too, so we know Barbara is still with us. We’re a clan now, as Judy likes to point out, and she’s right, but we’re only a clan because Ricky found the girls and came home to Bobby, they looked for us and found us, and that’s how this whole family-clan was born. How do we join the dots here? How did that come about?”
She tapped the tip of his nose with a pink fingertip.
“it’s important we know, baby, even Mom thinks so. There’s pain there that Ricky needs to get off his chest, deep pain, and loss, she sees it in his eyes when he sidesteps any hints about what happened. Mom can feel him hurting, it shows in so many little ways, especially whenever Yaz or Shari mention their mom, and it worries her that he’s still holding back and pushing all that pain way back down so he doesn’t have to think about it. In every way that counts, Ricky is mom’s son too, and she feels his hurt acutely. Talk to him if he’ll talk to you, Nick; help him get this out, then we can finally set the record straight. We’re only here a few more days; I really, really want to fill in the last blank spaces before we have to go home. Get Leon to help you; Rick trusts him, they’re really close, and maybe he’ll share if Leon asks him… ”
Nicky rubbed his forehead gently against hers.
“OK, you’ve asked me, I’ll see what I can do tomorrow, after the great food fight, but no promises; if Ricky’s hurting like you say he is, then it’s for a reason, maybe a reason he doesn’t feel like sharing, so I’ll ask, but if he blanks me, then that’s that, got it? When we get back, you and the girls take the kids to the park or something, run them around until they drop, and see if you can get mum to go along too. I know where dad’s going to be; there’s an exhibition of medieval junk at the museum, he was saying he wanted to go take a look, and I know for certain Bobby will go with him; they’re pretty much joined at the hip. I’ll see if I can collar Rick and get him to open up, but just think about this.”
Nicky stroked her cheek lightly, emphasising his point.
“Shari’s mother was also Ricky’s mum, the first real mother he ever had. She took him in, and she loved him unconditionally, and he loved her desperately; it shows in all sorts of ways whenever her name comes up, and losing her hit him hard, I’m guessing the way losing Barbara hit me, maybe even harder. He’d only just learned how to love her, how much she loved him, she was all he had, and then it was torn away from him; that must have left some deep scars and even deeper wounds. I know it did for me, and Ricky’s a lot like me, even I know that. However it was for him, he’s bottling it up and keeping it down inside for reasons of his own, so I’m not going to push it, not even for you, babe. People have the right to keep their private pain private, and no-one has the right to go digging for it, not you, not me, and not even Leon, not that he will, got it? Being his family still doesn’t give us any right to know what’s buried in his heart, we have no right to go dragging whatever it is he wants to keep private out into the open; that’s his to keep or share as he sees fit, you understand?”
Ashley stared at him, her eyes searching his face, then slowly nodded.
“I know, you’re right, babe; Ricky’s your kid brother, so he’s my kid brother too, and I don’t want him hurt any more than you do; if he wants to tell, let him, but don’t go scraping any raw nerves. It’s just that the five of you have such a lot of loss and hurt between you, more than any one family should have to bear, because of what your father did to all of you, and me, too, but I’ve gotten past that. Maybe it’s time you all faced your past, but yeah, you’re right; if Ricky pulls back, just leave it be, don’t go tearing off any scabs.”
Nicky grinned and jiggled her on his lap.
“And with that delightful image, I think we should get some sleep; I have a tough and toilsome morning ahead, and don’t think I didn’t notice you lot all looking the other way and whistling and sticking your fingers in your ears and going ‘la-la-la, I can’t hear you…’ at the tops of your voices when mum asked for volunteers; remember, revenge is a dish best served cold, and I will have my revenge, in this world or the next, mwahahahah!”
Ashley slid off his lap and held out her hand.
“C’mon, let’s go Nicky, I need to rub your back; how’s the Betamethasone cream helping? I saw a lot of the redness seems to be fading, does it still hurt much now?”
Nicky shrugged at the sudden twinge of pain as he thought about his injuries, about the mass of scar-tissue that was his back, raw scars inflicted by his psychopath father so many years earlier; his back had never really healed properly, never really stopped hurting, and it never would, but the pain had become so much a part of him now he barely noticed it.
“Back’s fine, babe, and yeah, the itching along some of the major scars has died down; that was a good idea dad had, I think I’ll stick with the cream, I think it’s working.”
Hand in hand, Nicky and Ashley, once upon a time brother and sister, now, husband and wife, parents, and part of a strong, solid, and deeply connected family, switched off the lights and TV, checked the windows and doors, and went to their bedroom, pausing only to look in on their two little girls, tuck them in and kiss them goodnight one more time.
*
Leon slumped down on the couch and glared at Nicky, while he tried to block out the sounds of mayhem as seven excited kids shrilled, gabbled, shrieked, and argued at the tops of their voices in the next room. Nicky grinned at him and saluted him semi-mockingly.
“Welcome to the wonderful world of childcare, Leon; how convinced are you about kids now?”
Leon grimaced at the thought, thinking of what Judy had to say, in-depth and at length, on the subject.
“Look, Nick, I know they’re technically my nieces and nephews; one of them’s even my sister-in-law, and I love them all like crazy, I love being ‘Unka Leon’, I love being Rachel’s big brother too, truly, and I know how crazy Judy is about all of them, but I have to be honest; today they nearly drove me batshit; it was like trying to reason with a busload of lunatics; loud, angry, attention-deficit, sugar-rushed lunatics; if Ashley and Judy are planning to get me into ‘Father-Mode’, this was not the way to do it…!”
Nicky turned his head to hide his grin; he’d figured out during their excursion with the wild-bunch exactly what Judy was doing, aided and abetted by Ashley, so he decided to help it along a little.
“And yet you’re still alive… Be honest, Lee, I don’t think we did too badly, no broken bones, we arrived home with the right number of kids, all ours, too, no innocent bystanders killed in the cross-fire, I’d call that a win! Now, if we could manage seven wild things, how hard could it be to manage just one?”
Leon cocked a suspicious eye at him.
“Have you been talking to Judy again?” he demanded, “because I’m not ready for all… this… this… lunacy, not yet; I already put my foot down with Judy…!”