Lucien
He stood before his woman, staring at her, her brown eyes drenched in tears although she was trying desperately to put up a brave front. He hated himself for being the cause of her hurt.
Steeling himself to speak, he said hoarsely,
“Woman, believe me.’
She looked at him skeptically, contempt on her face. She did not need to speak to express her disdain with words; the look said it all.
Believe him???
He sighed and ran a hand through his thick grey hair as he went on,
‘ I know, it sounds unbelievable.’ he said gruffly, ‘ But after I came to know…about breeding you…my son Claude… I have not slept with another woman.’
Proserpina looked at him, disbelief etched clearly on her beautiful face. She looked as though she had grown older in a few moments, more mature and wan but with a beauty that made him want to pull her into his arms, to kiss away the hurt, the cynical look in her large brown eyes.
He scowled and met her eyes and she stood up shakily, moving to stand beside the large windows, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist. They stood silently for a long while, she with her head bowed, a heavy swath of hair curtaining her expression.
Then, still, without looking at him, she said in a soft voice, laced with pain,
‘And this …?’ she could not complete her words. He sighed and moved closer but she immediately flinched and stepped away.
‘Lucien, please, for the love of God,’ she said in a tired voice, ‘Don’t …’
When she looked at him, he noticed anew, the purple smudges under her eyes, the chalky whiteness of her translucent skin. She had not been sleeping well; he had done this to her, robbed her of her happiness, her peace of mind. The soft mouth trembled as she whispered,
‘Just tell me the truth.’
He looked away, staring across the lake as he said,
‘You know I was…I slept with too many women to count. And Bethany…this boy’s mother and her sister, Britney, the one you saw, they were the Club wh*res, but they were special, reserved for my pleasure. ‘
She gave an audible gasp of hurt. His raspy voice grated over her feelings, like sandpaper over a fresh wound and she made a soft sound, a mewl of sorrow.
Reserved for his pleasure, she thought, pain shooting through her, had he made love to them the way he did to her? Kissed them in the same way?
Loved them?
He stopped, aware of her pain, her stillness but he had to go on. Taking a deep breath, he went on, not looking at her, aware of her tortured gaze on him as her eyes darted to his face and then, quickly moved away as though she could not bear to look at him.
His voice was low and impersonal as he went on, almost as though he was talking about the weather,
“I f*cked them. Separately, together, threesomes, foursomes, you name it…with Shark, other men too… Shark kept them ready for me. He used to send them in when I reached the Club. They were the wh*res I used constantly. Every day. More than once in the day.’
He heard the sharp intake of the breath she drew, the grief as she struggled to control herself as she bowed her head, her knuckles white as she dug her nails into her arms. But he had an insane desire to tell her everything, bare his soul to her, no matter what. He needed to confess, to get this out of his system. Wanted to come clean before the only woman he loved.
‘You were sleeping with them while I waited for you,’ she said in a dull voice, no trace of rancour in her voice, just a deep emptiness.
He nodded curtly. He would never be proud of his actions.
‘Woman, I never…they never meant anything to me,’ he said in a laboured tone,’ I used them for my pleasure.’
He paused and went on,’ I never knew she was carrying my child.’
Out of the corner of his eye, he felt her wince. Saw her hand going to her stomach. Yes, he had never known when she had been carrying his children, all six of them either, he thought bitterly.
‘When Cole contacted me…’ he continued but Proserpina interrupted, her tone disbelieving,
“Are you telling me that she never contacted you before this? This woman you slept with for so long? Your …your…favourite wh*re?” she spat.
Her transparent disbelief rankled as did the open contempt. Striding over, he shook her by the shoulders.
“Woman, you have to believe me, I have never loved another woman but you.’
She struggled and moved away, her face a mask of grief and cynicism. He went on, stiffly now,
“Proserpina, I have never wanted another woman as I need you. It is You I love, only you.’
She turned to him, her eyes burning.
‘ Love? Lucien Delano, do you even KNOW what that means?’
She tossed her braid, and shook her head, her voice rising as she said,
‘ And you have hidden your …son…from me. When you vowed to share everything with me. Is that easy to dismiss? The evidence that you were cheating on me all the while, screwing around,’ her voice trembled in disgust, ‘while I, fool that I was waited for you, pregnant and alone?’
And young, she wanted to say but his face was drawn and pained.
‘I …I…’ she shook her head, hugging herself.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and willed herself to calm down. All the meditation techniques in the world did not seem to be able to help, she thought bitterly.
Aware of the silent man behind her, watchful and alert, she sighed.
“Go on, ‘she commanded. He waited for a beat and continued.
“When I returned from Ukraine after a trip, I was told that Bethany had disappeared, so had Britney. Shark was livid.’
She remembered the trip. He had come to the house with a group of associates and to her mortification, the sex toys which Danielle had given her, had rolled to his feet, before his companions.
The tongue-lashing he had given her was still in her memory. She had thought he was going to hit her; the Boss had been that livid.
Lucien must have thought of that time too. he rolled his powerful shoulders as though shutting out the memory and went on, his expression tightening.
‘Now I think I know why. At the time, I merely ordered him to furnish me with new women.’
He was not making excuses for what he had been what he had done and she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She said nothing for a long while.
‘Woman…’ he began softly. Begging her, ‘Don’t… I…that was in the past…’
Proserpina stared out at the world outside the window which was dark now. A deep weariness flooded through her.
I have been living in a Fool’s Paradise, haven’t I? she thought.
She was not aware that she had spoken aloud until Lucien came up behind her.
‘Woman…,’ he said, his tone raw, “Don’t say that.’
She stood, stiffly, willing her body not to sway into his waiting arms. Not yet, she thought sadly, not now. The worst part of it all was that she still loved him, her heart ached but her body melted when he touched her.
Moving away from him deliberately, she said, sadly,
‘I need time. My …I feel as though I have been emotionally wrung out and I cannot think, cannot feel. I need time, Lucien.’ A sudden thought struck her and she lifted her drained, exhausted eyes to her husband, as she said quietly,
” And most importantly, our children need to know…’
Her eyes were on his face as she spoke the words and she saw the wretchedness, the fear. He adored his children, particularly the girls, Ria and Tara. Knowing that they would judge him and find him wanting, hurt him. Lucien had always been their hero, infallible, invincible.
But now? The eldest children were in their late teens and the younger ones…
Proserpina hugged herself fiercely. She was three months on, but she did not want to tell him about the child she was carrying.
Instead, she said, coldly,
‘Call the children. Tell them to be here by tomorrow. And then, bring your…son…to meet us.’ Her hesitancy, the loathing with which she said the word, made him look at her.
Roughly, he pulled her into his arms, and shook her angrily,
“What would you have me do, woman? I cannot disown him. He is my blood.’
Proserpina tipped her head back and glared at him.
‘Of course,’ she said bitchily, wondering where she had the venom to say the words,
‘The DNA test. Do you think you should set up a unit at home, Lucien? We do not know how many more termites are going to trickle out of the woodwork. Sons and daughters too, perhaps?”
He thrust her away in shock, Proserpina was saying this? The woman who had never had a single bad word to say about anyone?
She met his gaze and said,” I would like to return to the house now. My three children are expected by tonight.’
“They are mine too, ‘he blazed furiously, striding forward and gripping her upper arms again, enraged to see how she had begun to shut him off. Proserpina inclined her head away from him proudly.
“Lucien, let me go.’ she said quietly and this time, he dropped his hands dully. He knew he had lost the power to make her tremble in his arms. Had hurt her to such an extent that he had robbed her of any more faith in him.
Her eyes dropped to his hands and her face whitened as she looked at the Infinity ring.
The promise of love, of being true to her, of having no mistrust between them. It had all been a dream, a dream in her eyes alone.
Biting her lip, she moved out of his arms, trying her best to be cold and unemotional.
Pushing past him, she went to the door and tugged it open. Melissa, who had been sitting almost at the door, biting her nails, leapt to her feet and ran to Proserpina, taking her friend’s stiff body in her arms. Schwartz, waiting by the fireplace, watched, his handsome face betraying his angst while Aiyana looked up from her phone and uncoiled herself from the sofa with feline grace.