* * * EPILOGUE
Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up. There was a warm body beside me, almost curled against me. The breasts rose and fell on my ribs, the nipples rolling. And she felt good, whoever she was. So I slid my fingers down her back and grasped her tight buttocks.
Hardly stirring at all, Courtney groaned, “No. I’m so fucking sore…”
“Did I hurt you?” My erection, freshly sprung, wilted with guilt.
“You always hurt me,” she said. “You’re always rough with me. That’s how you fuck me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No you’re not.”
I noticed that she hadn’t pulled away from me, even as drowsy as she was. Tentatively, I slid my hands up her shoulders, up her back.
“Don’t,” she warned.
“I’m not going to fuck you,” I said. “I’m just…”
“Just go back to sleep,” she murmured. “I’m staying here because I’m too tired to leave.”
“I am sorry,” I said adamantly. “I don’t mean to… actually hurt you.”
“Yes you do.”
“Okay,” I said, “yes, but not…”
“Stop being a bitch,” she said. In the solid darkness of the hotel I could see absolutely nothing. All I could sense of her was her breath on my neck and the weight of her body. And her voice, rising up from the sheets. “Rough sex is rough,” she said. “And that’s how it is.”
“That’s very wise.”
Suddenly she bit my chest so hard I shrieked.
“Bitch,” she said, when I’d tumbled back to the mattress. I leaned down to kiss her cheek, but she pulled away. “I said go back to sleep.”
“This might be the last time I ever see you,” I said, noting as I said it that I couldn’t actually see her.
“Probably.”
“I didn’t…” I searched for the words. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
She gave a mordant little laugh. “Yes, you did.”
“Okay, yes I did,” I said, “but I didn’t-”
“What the fuck are you trying to say?” she said. “Do you always babble like this after sex? Jesus Christ, and this is the 99% Tara got.”
“Do you like this?” I asked. “Did you want to be here?”
She was unnaturally quiet. When she spoke again it was after she shifted against me under the covers. Her thigh draped over my cock, and it began to rise. “I’ve got my money back,” she said.
“So this is the last time.”
“Probably,” she said. She was quiet for a moment, then let loose a husky laugh. “Do you know what I actually hate about you?” she asked. “When Tara first started dating you, I thought you’d turn out to be another boring whatever guy. But Tara really loved you. And I actually saw it, kind of. You’re not as smart as you think you are, but you’re not dumb. Not like the guys Tara thinks I date, cause everything’s a fucking contest… And yeah, you stared at my chest from time to time but I’m used to that. Really used to that. Because guys see me and want to fuck me. And here you are, a not necessarily boring, not necessarily smart, whatever, fucking guy, and Tara’s so in love with you, and I fucking knew, I fucking knew you wanted to fuck me. And I actually played into it. Not at first, but sometimes I’d let my shirt fall a little lower over my tits or I’d wear a lot of flashy jewelry to drag your eyes down.” She laughed. “It always works. It’s so fucking…” She drifted off, her voice gradually wavering.
“I shouldn’t have come to you with the money. That was a mistake. But I knew you wouldn’t tell Tara. I guess I thought I knew. But Tara said you were a nice guy. She said she could depend on you. And I wanted to see if it was true. Maybe. I think that’s why. I was so wasted that night, I don’t really know.
“And when you touched me that night, I thought, he’s going to try to kiss me or something. And you didn’t. And then, after, when you blackmailed me, I thought, ha, I was right. But I wanted to know. I wanted to know what you would do. Wanted to see how far you’d take it. And you fucking ran with it. And that’s what I like. I guess I’m a little fucked up but that’s what I like. I don’t get to have nice guys like Tara has, I have fucking assholes, because guys don’t think I’m smart, so smart guys don’t go for me.” She was quiet again. I’d never heard Courtney talk this way, and from the thud of her heart on my chest I knew that it wasn’t something she would have said to my face.
When she resumed speaking again she was quieter. “I wanted to fuck you,” she said. “That’s what I hate about you. I wanted a nice guy. I guess I didn’t want Tara’s nice guy. I wish you were a nice guy. I wish you were a better guy. If you were, you’d still be with Tara and you never would have fucked me. But I wanted you to fuck me. I could have told you no, shit, I didn’t need the money. But it was wrong to fuck you, so I wanted to fuck you. I wanted you to show me how bad you had it. And you had it so bad, and then when you fucked me, you fucked me like you owned me, fucked me like you had to, like you couldn’t stand not being in me. All the teasing, your selfish arrogance. I really did hate it. But you were always acting. Always acting tough, or superior, or nasty, like I couldn’t see the real you. I hated it so much it turned me on.
“And it would be fucking cool,” she went on, “if we met each other and it was like, hey, we hit it off or something. But I never would have met you if you hadn’t been fucking my sister. And you never would have fucked me if you hadn’t fucked my sister first. So you are a scumbag. And you made me cum. You made me cum.”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “Maybe,” I said, “maybe this works. Maybe that’s what it took to-”
She cut me off with a harsh laugh. “Are you serious? You don’t want to be in a relationship with me, you asshole. You just want to fuck me. You don’t even know me.”
“I could start,” I said.
“No,” she said, laughing. “No, man. This is the situation: we have freaky stupid sex, and that’s it. Every time you tried to make it something more than that, it never was. If I hadn’t been into it from the beginning it never would have happened. But I am into it because… I don’t know. … Because, I did like you, actually. And when I found out you were just the same as any other guy, well, fuck. Surprise, surprise…”
“But you still fucked me.”
“You blackmailed me.”
“You said you didn’t need the money.”
“I didn’t,” she said. “I also didn’t need the fucking. But that didn’t stop you from taking what you wanted. I took, too.”
“I don’t get it,” I said. “So do you like me or not?”
“You’re useful for one thing, at least. Tara never went overboard talking about your sex life but I know for a fact you never fucked her like you fuck me.”
“No,” I admitted.
“Why? Cause I’m the other sister? Cause I’m hot? Don’t answer that. The answer’s yes.”
“Yes and no,” I said. “There’s something in you that I recognize, something in me. I’m not that nice of a guy, fine, but I was never honest with myself or with Tara. I kept putting up a front.”
“You think you don’t do the same thing with me?”
“You do the same thing with me,” I shot back.
Her breath was hot on my face. “So what’s your point?”
“Just that I do want to fuck you.”
“Great, I’m glad we cleared that up.”
“And I do… sort of… like you, in a weird… not entirely practical way.”
She was quiet. “Remember when I said you’re not as smart as you think you are?”
“Okay, fine. Fine. I don’t understand what this is but I don’t want you going away thinking this was all about just fucking your-”
“-my tits, and my ass and my pussy-”
“And your mouth, too. Yes, I wanted you, but I shouldn’t have ever asked you to demean yourself for me.”
“No,” she agreed. “But that’s what you wanted. And that’s what I wanted. And we let it happen. If I didn’t care more about fucking than about my sister I would have told her a long time ago. You think good sex is enough to break up a relationship for? No. But it wasn’t my relationship. Tara’s good at lots of things, lots of things that aren’t about fucking.”
“So you’re saying I made the wrong choice.”
“Yeah.”
“Because it felt good.”
“Of course it did,” she said.
We lapsed into a hot silence. Cautiously, I stroked the back of her head with my palm. She didn’t push me away.
“So where does that leave us?” I asked. “I mean, if I want to see you again, do I just call you up?”
“You really think you can fuck me like you have without the money backing it up?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly.
“Well, we don’t have to find out. Tara would kill me if we dated. And I don’t want to date you.”
“So I lost both of you.”
“Yeah,” she said, “but I was only in it for the sex.” She rubbed her thigh against my cock. During our conversation it had grown until it pressed into her skin. “I told you I can’t fuck,” she said. “I’m sore as shit. And you’re not getting another blowjob from me tonight.”
“How about a titjob?” I asked.