Daddy pulled out his phone and began texting. He then put it back down on the table, and drank from his pop. The phone rang 10 minutes later.
“She’s going to love this,” he said quietly, before answering the phone. He switched it to speaker so I could hear.
“I should honestly be kept on retainer for the number of times I bail you out,” she said. I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not asking you to bail me out,” he said. “I am seeking your counsel.”
“I charge $400 an hour for that. Am I on speaker?”
“Kit was there as well, so she deserves to hear.”
“Kit?” she said, sounding confused.
“I never liked Ashley. My mom and I don’t get along so I changed my name to something I like,” I said, maybe a touch defensively.
“How are you holding up after meeting the Queen of all Bitches?” Meg said, apparently unphased by the name change.
I was kind of surprised. She actually sounded sincere. “Ben stopped me from beating her in the middle of the street and rejected my idea of kidnapping her and dumping the body in the lake, so I have all this extra energy buzzing through me with no outlet. But I’m good otherwise.”
“As legal counsel, I cannot advise on that course of action. As a member of the human race I would buy you flowers if you did. Anonymously, of course. So, what exactly happened?”
Daddy recapped the confrontation. I actually heard Meg laugh a couple of times.
“Jesus, Ben. You really are a whole new person. With all the sniping they did at you and Beth they’ve deserved that for at least 15 years. Good for you for saying it.”
“Yes, but she’s probably now telling half of Toronto that I’m a pedophile. I’d still like to avoid useless drama if I can.”
“Too late for that now,” she said.
They were both quiet for a few moments. Then I had an idea.
“You could just tell people we’re dating. Explain it. If she’s as terrible as you both say she is, won’t more people believe you? Especially if Meg says she’s met me.”
There was a pause and I could hear Meg chuckle. “Thank god one of the two of you is sensible.”
Daddy looked up at me and smiled. It was the first time since we left the tattoo parlour that he looked a little relaxed.
“Ok, we’ll find a cute photo of the two of us, I’ll write something up now and post it up on Facebook. That should calm things down a bit,” he said.
I scrunched up my face when he said that.
“What?” he asked.
“It’s just, do people still use Facebook? I thought only racists and anti-vaxxers used Facebook these days?”
There was a moment of silence and then Daddy roared with laughter, his hand thumping on the table. Over the phone I could hear Meg swearing. Daddy eventually caught his breath and wiped tears from his eyes, just as the food was arriving.
“Well, she’s not exactly 100% wrong, Meg,” he said.
“I am going to delete Facebook from my phone, then dip my phone in bleach, and then call my shrink. Jesus, how did we get old, Ben?”
“I recommend dating a young, smart, hot chick. It’s done wonders for me,” he said. I put my hands over my face so Meg couldn’t hear me laugh.
“Fuck it, I’ll download Tindr, find some 22-year-old, and fuck their brains out. Why not?”
“That’s the spirit.”
She sighed. “Ok, I’ll keep an eye out. Do a good job on writing this, Ben. And Ashley, sorry, Kit… I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Thank you, Meg. That means a lot,” I said. And it did. I might actually be starting to like her a bit.
There was a pause, and then Meg added “And Ben? You and Kit should come down to Toronto some weekend. Just to hang out. I miss you. I’d come up for a visit but I don’t want to hear the two of you having sex all weekend.”
“Plus all the casual nudity,” he said, and I heard her curse. Daddy laughed. “We will absolutely come for a visit. Take care, Meg,” Daddy said, ending the call as Meg was yelling something about wearing clothes when we did.
“Feel better?” I asked, and then took a huge bite out of my smoked meat sandwich.
“I do, actually,” he said. “When you’re not trying to cram that whole sandwich into your mouth at once, can you find a photo that you’re ok with sharing on Facebook. Then flip it to me. I’m going to write something up.”
“Ohhmfk, addy,” I said. I got a look for talking with my mouth full, so I just switched on the adorableness. I also looked at my phone. As it happens, Michelle flipped me a bunch of photos she took of the two of us from last night. There were a lot of fun ones, but I stopped at one. There was a glass of wine on the table in front of me, which I ought to show I was legal. He was looking at me with a big smile. I had a slightly coy, but very happy look on my face. We were both dressed up. I thought it would be perfect. I tossed it at Daddy’s phone.
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” he said. “I thought Michelle was taking some pictures of us last night. Ok, how does this sound:
“Some of you know that I had no intention of ever being in a relationship again. Couldn’t see how it could possibly happen. Well, the universe sometimes decides it has other plans. I met Kit at a comic con last October. And despite saying I was pretty messed up and she should run away, she persisted. Four months later and I know I have a stupid grin on my face every time I look at her. I didn’t think I could be happy again. I am delighted to be wrong. I’m sure you can tell there’s an age gap between us. She’s working on her degree in Montreal. I hope none of you will make a big deal out of it. We’re both phenomenally happy and in love. And in the end, that’s the most important thing.”
I had a mouthful of sandwich I was chewing and that’s when he decided to read something like that to me. My eyes got wide and I knew I started to cry as I frantically tried to swallow and he laughed and told me not to choke. I finally managed to swallow and then came round the table and hugged him and told him I loved him too.
After I calmed down a bit, he took the photo I sent, attached it to the message and showed it to me as I was looking over his shoulder.
“Ready?” he asked. I nodded. He hit “post”.
“Now we wait for the madness to begin,” he said. He then closed his phone and put it in his pocket.
“You’re not going to wait to see how people respond?” I said, going back to my seat and the sandwich. “Aren’t you curious?”
“It’ll be there later. So, how’s the tattoo feel?”
I looked at him like he was nuts, but smiled and then started to tell him about it.”
***
By the time we got home his phone had been buzzing pretty much non-stop for over an hour. I insisted he respond to some of the messages while I went into my room and did some school work for a couple of hours. Which I did, but eventually my curiosity about how the reception to our coming out was going got the better of me. I walked into our bedroom and stripped. The lady at the tattoo parlour said to make sure my Batgirl got lots of air, so I took that as an excuse to walk around naked. But after I put on my red thigh high socks.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to seduce him right now; it had been a weird day for both of us. But I still liked looking cute for him, and I knew how much he liked me walking around like this. I walked into his office, but he wasn’t there. I headed out to the kitchen and I could see him beginning to prep for supper. It looked like he was making some homemade pasta. How did I get lucky enough to find a guy who liked to cook? He saw me walking into the kitchen and grinned. I hopped up on one of the stools and watched him work.
“We ate lunch only a couple of hours ago,” I said.
“True,” he said, getting dough ready for the past maker. He also had some chicken, veggies and some cream out. I didn’t think I was hungry, but looking at the ingredients, I could feel my appetite start to lurch awake. “But there’s a process, so this will take a bit. Plus, you eat like a half-starved piranha when you’re here.”
“You’re just a really good cook, Daddy,” I said.
He shot me a look. “More like you’re not eating enough during the week when you’re at school.”
That was twice in 24 hours someone had made a comment about my weight. I was not viewing that as a coincidence, but I was also not going to get into it with Daddy about it now. We’d already had a day. Besides, I really was curious how his friends and family were reacting to, well, me. Us.
“So, what are they saying? Are you in the clear or the biggest pervert in Canada,” I said. I reached over and grabbed an apple from the bowl. I was going to need something to tide me over.
“You are a smash hit, princess,” he said.
“Really?”
“Turns out I was in my own head way too much. Over 100 likes on the post. Dozens of comments congratulating me and saying I deserve to be happy. Another dozen or so texts and instant messages saying, essentially, who cares about the age difference, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you that happy.
“Oh, and my mom thinks you’re adorable and she can’t wait to meet you this summer.
I paused mid-bite into the apple.
“I’m meeting your mom?”