Zinnia
Blood drains from my face as Alex stood there, staring at me like she was waiting for some grand reaction. Her face was calm, almost blank, but her eyes were expectant, desperate even. And I could feel it, the weight of her unspoken apology. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. Not after everything she’d done.
Her betrayal crashed over me in waves. Roman’s voice still haunted me, his laughter as he twisted the knife, literally and figuratively. The pain, the humiliation, the endless nights of terror and torment. None of it would’ve happened if Alex hadn’t opened her mouth to her father. My supposed best friend.
I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms. Fury bubbled inside me, raw and untamed. I had trusted her. Worried about her. Cried with her. Confided in her. Trusted her sigh my life. And she had turned her back on me so fast it made my head spin.
Alex shifted, her mouth opening as if to explain, but I snapped, “Don’t. Just don’t.”
Her words caught in her throat, and for the first time, her composure cracked. She took a tentative step closer, hands outstretched. “Zinnia, please, let me-”
“No!” My voice was ice, cold and sharp enough to cut. “You don’t get to explain. You don’t get to make this about you.”
“Please, just hear me out,” she begged, her voice trembling now.
“Hear you out?” I laughed bitterly, a sound that felt foreign even to my own ears. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What I went through because of you?”
Her eyes filled with tears, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. “Zinnia, I didn’t think he would do that. My father-he-”
“Stop!” I spat, cutting her off again. “Don’t you dare stand there and try to justify what you did. You knew what your father was capable of. You knew, and you still handed him over to me.”
Alex flinched as though I’d slapped her. “I thought he could help us. I thought-”
“You thought wrong,” I interrupted, my voice rising. “You thought wrong, and I paid the price.”
Tears streamed down her face, and for a brief moment, I thought she might leave. But instead, she stepped forward again, desperation written all over her.
“Get out,” I said, my voice low and dangerous.
“Zinnia, please,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
I snapped. “Sorry? Sorry doesn’t erase the scars. Sorry doesn’t take away the nights I spent praying for someone to save me, only to realize no one was coming. Sorry doesn’t erase all the monstrous ways that monster used my body. Sorry doesn’t erase the countless times I had to dig my fingers into the walls counting minutes until the next monster shows up and takes from me. Sorry doesn’t fucking erase it!” I snapped, feeling a tsunami of tears building up.
Alex’s sobs filled the silence, and for a moment, I felt a pang of guilt. But it was drowned out by the anger, the betrayal. “Just go,” I said, my voice breaking. “I can’t do this right now.”
Alex hesitated, her hand reaching out as though to touch me, but the look in my eyes must’ve stopped her. She turned, her shoulders shaking, but before she could take another step, my door burst open.
Hermine and Reed stormed in, their eyes scanning the room. Hermine rushed to Alex, pulling her into her arms as sobs wracked her body. Reed, on the other hand, was by my side in an instant.
“Zinnia, hey,” he said softly, his voice soothing as he sat beside me. “Breathe, baby. Just breathe.”
I hadn’t realized how fast my heart was racing, how shallow my breaths had become. Reed’s presence was soothing and I needed him in that moment.
“Hermine,” he said, his tone firm but gentle. “Take Alex out of here. Please.”
Hermine nodded, guiding Alex out of the room despite her protests. The door closed behind them, leaving Reed and me alone. And then I broke. The shower open, and the tears I’d been holding back spilled over. I collapsed against Reed, my sobs muffled by his shirt.
“She was my best friend,” I choked out. “I trusted her.”
“I know,” he said, rubbing my back. “I know.”
“She-she betrayed me, Reed. She handed me over to him. How do I forgive that?”
He didn’t answer right away, just held me as I cried. When my sobs subsided, he spoke, his voice soft but steady.
“Zinnia, I know you’re hurt. And you have every right to be. But Alex… she didn’t do this to hurt you. She thought she could protect you. She thought she was doing the right thing.”
I shook my head, the anger flaring up again. “She thought wrong.”
“Yes, she did,” Reed said, his tone firm. “But you’re not the only one who’s suffered because of him. Alex has been through hell too. Her father did to her the horrible things Roman did to you. She was just as much a victim as you were.”
Reed’s words rang continuously in my eyes. Guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders. I… I accused her when she… She…. I began sobbing again.
“Just rest,” Reed says, his voice softening again. “I need to handle somethings. Right now, you need to rest.”
I didn’t have the strength to argue. Exhaustion weighed me down, and before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep in Reed’s arms.
*****
When I woke, the room was dim, the soft glow of the bedside lamp the only source of light. For a moment, I thought I was alone. But then I tilted my head and saw Alex sitting in the chair beside my bed, her face pale and tear-streaked.
I jolted upright, my heart racing. Instinctively, I shifted away from her, putting as much distance as I could between us. The fear was irrational, I knew that, but it was there all the same.
Alex’s face crumpled, and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “Zinnia, please,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I would never hurt you. You have to believe me.”
Her words hung in the air. My heart ached, torn between the pain she’d caused and the pain she was clearly in. But before I could say anything, she cut me.
“Please, listen to what I have to say first. And if you never want to see me again, I will leave without another word and you’ll never hear from me.”
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