“Who should go first? I’ll let you decide…” Reiner said as he reached for my hand.
His fingers intertwined with mine before he held my hand tightly in his much larger one. I was too scared and nervous to think straight. I didn’t care who went first. I just didn’t want to go through with all this. Why did things have to be so difficult for us?
“You can do it, Natalia. Be brave. It’ll be over very very soon,” Reiner told me as his hand squeezed mine.
Brave indeed. Brave in every sense of the word.
Again and again, I was unfortunately reminded of the old man’s words. If I wanted to be with Reiner, I had to be brave.
“Can you go first? I’ll try to stay very still…” I said softly after taking in a huge and long breath.
“Sure. Stay calm and still. It’ll just feel like a paper cut and I promise that it won’t leave a scar,” Reiner promised.
“Yes, I am sure that Knight is very skilled with a knife. You don’t need to worry, Natalia,” Kuman chimed in at the perfect moment.
I didn’t doubt Reiner’s skill at anything, and I wasn’t that worried about the pain. The hardest part for me would be when it came my turn to carve that symbol on him.
Reiner took my left wrist in his hand and lifted my arm up.
“The knife is sharp enough. It won’t hurt…” Reiner said confidently.
I didn’t know if I should watch or look away. Reiner’s hand round my wrist tightened as he slowly positioned the tip of the knife against my skin. I took in a deep breath and held it; however, my eyes refused to look away. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as dramatic as I had imagined it and it was mostly due to the fact that everything happened so quickly that it was over before I knew it. It wasn’t a lie when Kuman said that Reiner was very skilled with a knife. He was done carving a small version of the symbol into my skin before I could feel the slight stinging pain.
When the knife was removed, I got a full view of the result of his handiwork. True to his words, it didn’t hurt more than a papercut and it took a few seconds for my blood to slowly seep out from the cut. I caught sight of the symbol dyed in the red of my blood for only a few seconds before Reiner quickly wrapped a white bandage around my arm. The way he looked so concerned as he applied pressure to stop my bleeding felt very funny to me. It didn’t hurt and I wasn’t bleeding so much that I felt like I deserved this much attention.
“I’m fine. You were right. It didn’t hurt…” I mumbled.
“Sorry if it was scary for you. You did well,” Reiner replied as he finished up the final touches on the bandage around my arm.
I smiled up at him before he pulled me into a loving hug. His strong arms around my body felt like the safest place on earth. I closed my eyes and hugged him back tightly.
“The second half of the ceremony, if you please…” the old man safe after coughing slightly to get our attention.
Oh, right. We’re only half done and now the part that I dreaded the most was upon us. I need to somehow carve that symbol into Reiner’s arm. Maybe if I faint now…
Be brave!
The pressure was so great that I was scared and intimidated by the situation. My hands were shaking so hard that they felt useless. I had zero confidence that I could control my hands by that point, and using a knife seemed to be out of the question.
“I don’t think that I can do this after all…” I confessed guiltily as I pleaded to Reiner with my eyes.
“I’ll hold your hand,” Reiner replied.
His hands held mine firmly in his so that my hands would stop shaking. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes to steady my nerves.
“There’s no way that I can do this the way you did it for me. It’s going to hurt and it’s going to be so messy…” I said while sounding very upset.
Reiner didn’t seem to mind at all but that didn’t mean that I didn’t.
“I’ve been through worst, trust me. Now hold the knife firmly in your hand,” Reiner said as he reached for the knife and handed it towards me.
I should faint now…seriously…
Regardless of what I wanted, I forced myself to reach out for the knife. The knife felt lighter than I had imagined but that didn’t make my heart feel any lighter about what I was about to do.
“You can hold her hand,” Kuman repeated encouragingly.
Reiner quickly rolled up the sleeve of his shirt all the way up to his elbow, exposing the skin of his arm to me. He flashed me a smile before his hand reached out at lightning speed and grabbed the hand that was holding the knife. Instinctively, I began resisting.
“Don’t resist, Natalia. Relax. If it bothers you, you can close your eyes. You don’t have to do anything, just relax your arm and I’ll do the rest,” Reiner instructed sternly.
Even if he says that…it’s not as easy for me to do exactly what he wanted me to.
“R…please…” I whimpered softly as tear started pooling in my eyes.
“It will be over before you know it. Ok?” he said before smiling patiently at me.
Not knowing what to say and afraid that I would start wailing like a baby, I just nodded my head once. I bit on my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly when Reiner pulled my hand closer to his arm.
“It’s going to be ok,” Reiner whispered.
When my hand moved based on his guidance, my eyes snapped opened to see what was going on. The suspense was clearly getting to me, and I couldn’t bear not to now what was happening. Reiner smiled a little at me before he continued to guide my hand as the knife continued to carve the symbol into his arm. Reiner’s movements were extremely precise and soon the symbol was completed.
–To be continued…