Chapter 19

Book:His Published:2024-12-16

Two days after Connor snuck into my room and our wild encounter, I’m still feeling a twinge of soreness between my legs. He was ruthless and I loved every second of it. At the same time, I’m also more confused than ever.
No one has ever made her feel like this before and my emotions are all over the place. One minute I want to laugh at the irony of the situation and the next, I burst into tears. This whole pregnancy thing has me feeling like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster.
It also scares the hell out of me because I saw a dark side to Connor that I hadn’t seen before. He was angry, upset and brutal in a way that makes me wonder if he would want revenge. If he ever found out about our baby, would he use the child as leverage to get what he wanted? Would he purposely hurt me by taking our baby away?
I honestly have no idea what he’s capable of. After witnessing his dark side, my mind is a whirlwind of fear and anxiety. I don’t trust him. The sad truth is I trusted him more the night we met. Now, though…
Now I fear that his anger will cause him to do things he wouldn’t normally do.
I also can’t forget what he said right before leaving.
“Your father is an asshole. So, yeah, I’d love to see you defy him.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know what he’s capable of and what he did to a 16-year-old kid.”
My father cut off Connor’s finger?
His statement caught me completely off-guard and shocked me to my core. I know my father runs everything with an iron fist, but did he really hurt Connor like that when he was just a kid? Why? What in the world would’ve possessed him to do that to Connor? Thinking about it makes me ill.
No child should be hurt over this ridiculous feud between our families. It’s one of the reasons I’m scared to tell Connor about the baby. But maybe he wouldn’t do anything to harm the child, especially after what happened to him.
I don’t know. I’m still so confused and I wish I could trust Connor.
As far as I know, Connor’s father is still in the hospital and I know that’s adding a lot of extra stress.
It still amazes me, though, that he told me how he’s expected to take over the reins from his dad, that it’s his duty, and yet when I told him I also have a duty, he got angry.
I understand he doesn’t want me marrying Antonio, but it’s not about that. It’s the principle of the situation. I also have had expectations placed on me since I’m the oldest daughter.
But Connor doesn’t want me to fulfill those duties. Hell, I’m the last one who wants to marry Antonio, but I have to. If I don’t then I’ll wind up getting tossed out onto the street.
And I have my baby to consider now.
Because Matthais Volkanov doesn’t have an empathetic bone in his body, and I know that he considers me not marrying Antonio as shirking my duty.
My one and only duty. Truthfully, my father hasn’t asked a lot of me, and I think that’s part of the reason I can’t tell him no and put up a fight. He made sure I was taken care of my entire life – from having a roof over my head to receiving an excellent education at boarding schools.
But does he love you? a little voice asks. Did he ever spend any quality time with you? Or just ship you off to a fancy, faraway school?
My eyes slide shut and I don’t like to think about the answer to that question. Gio is clearly next in line to take over the family organization, so my dad focuses mostly on him and preparing my oldest brother for when that day comes. Solana is a mere blip on the horizon, and I don’t think my dad and Luca have said more than two words to each other in the past six months.
Gio. Even though my older brother and I don’t spend an inordinate amount of time together, I suddenly realize that he and Connor are facing a similar future. They both are next in line to oversee and run our respective family businesses.
Which would put Connor and Gio in direct opposition to each other.
That thought makes my heart sink. Even so, I decide to track Gio down and ask him some questions. Maybe he has some insight that will help me. Yeah, I need some advice from my big brother.
I finally find him in the sunroom, sitting on the couch and reading a book. It’s hardly sunny out and it looks like a storm is about to break at any moment now.
“Busy? What’re you reading?” I ask.
Gio looks up and there’s no denying how handsome my oldest brother is, but he doesn’t have a girlfriend. At least, no one that I’m aware of. “A book about financing. Boring stuff,” he adds.
With a head of black-brown hair and eyes darker than mine, Giovanni is 29-years-old and far too serious, if you ask me. He used to smile and laugh a lot more, but I can’t remember the last time I saw the dimple in his left cheek.
“Sounds dreadful,” I tease, but still no smile curves his mouth.
Not even a small one. Sitting down next to him, I start wringing my hands, not sure where to begin. “Are you seeing anyone?” I finally blurt out.
He arches a thick. dark brow. “No. Why?”
“Just curious. I feel like we haven’t talked in a while, and I was just wondering how my older brother is doing.”
“I’m fine,” he states evenly.
“How’re you? I saw the engagement photos and I have to say that neither of you looked overly-enthused.”
“I don’t want to marry Antonio,” I tell him in a low voice. “But it’s what father wants.”
I slant him a side look.
“You know all about that, too, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?” he asks, sitting up straighter.
“Oh, nothing. Just that you’re expected to take over the family organization once he retires,” Gio doesn’t comment, but I see a muscle in his cheek flex. “Is that what you want?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. You know that.”
“See, we’re in the same boat. Father’s pawns, I guess you could say.”
“I’m no one’s pawn,” he tells me between clenched teeth. “It’s my duty to take over when the time comes. I have no issues with that. Unlike you and the man you’re supposed to marry.”
“How am I supposed to marry someone I don’t love?”
Gio scoffs. “Love is overrated and for fools.”
I have a feeling he’s referring to the girl he used to date. I don’t know much about it, but I do know that she broke his heart, and he hasn’t been the same since. But the details are cloudy
and he’s never confided in me or any of my siblings about what happened.
And ever since then, it’s been hard to watch him become a shadow of his former, jovial, fun self.