SASHA’S POV
I nodded against his shoulder, though I couldn’t bring myself to say the words out loud.
The moment felt suffocating, and I couldn’t shake the overwhelming sense of wrongness that clung to me like a second skin.
When he finally let me go, I stepped back, offering him a weak smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “I think I’ll go to my room now,” I said softly, my voice hollow.
He nodded, his expression tinged with concern. “Take all the time you need, but don’t forget I’m your father, and I care so much about you, and would never do anything to hurt you,” he said.
I just kept calm staring at him. There was no doubt that he cared about me, because I have known him my entire life, and he has always been there for me, but it’s just so hard right now.
Though I trust him, but my heart longs to be with no one else but Sebastian, and somehow I feel my unborn child still needs to meet his father no matter what.
“Dad, don’t you think my child would want to meet his father someday?” This question escaped my mouth before I could stop myself.
“Yes, but before then, he or she would be old enough to know that his father is dangerous, and choose if he wants to be in his dangerous world or not,” was his response to me, while I just kept calm, not knowing what more to say.
I wanted to speak further, but I decided against it, knowing fully well that he would always have something to say, so I can never defeat him.
So it’s best I kept quiet. “Okay, I will leave now,” I started turned around, to leave.
“Okay, but remember, I’m here for you. Always.” he said making me face him again.
“Alright dad, thank you so much,” I mouthed, while he just smiled.
I turned and made my way up the stairs, each step feeling heavier than the last. By the time I reached my bedroom, my legs felt like lead, and my heart was pounding painfully in my chest.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it for a moment, my eyes fluttering shut as I tried to catch my breath.
The room felt cold, empty, despite the soft glow of the late afternoon sun filtering through the curtains.
It was as if the promise I’d made had drained all the warmth, all the life, from the space around me.
I crossed the room and sank onto the edge of my bed, my hands trembling as I pressed them against my thighs.
My father’s words echoed in my mind, over and over, until they were all I could hear. You’ll move on. You’ll promise me you’ll move on.
A bitter laugh escaped my lips, though it sounded more like a sob. Move on? How could I move on when every fiber of my being was tethered to Sebastian?
How could I forget the man who had shown me a love so all-consuming, so profound, that it had changed me forever?
My gaze dropped to my stomach, my hand instinctively coming to rest there. The slight curve was barely noticeable, but I could feel the life growing within me. Our child.
A piece of Sebastian that would always be with me, no matter how much distance or time separated us.
Tears welled in my eyes as I thought about the tiny life I was carrying. “You’ll never get to meet your father,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
The words were like a dagger to my heart, each one slicing deeper than the last. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
The tears came then, hot and unrelenting, streaming down my cheeks as I clutched my stomach.
I sobbed for the love I’d lost, for the future I’d dreamed of but would never have. I cried for the promises I’d made and the promises I’d broken.
The room blurred around me as the weight of my grief pressed down on me, suffocating and inescapable. I felt like I was drowning, lost in a sea of pain and regret that threatened to pull me under.
And yet, through it all, there was a flicker of something else. Hope.
I placed both hands on my stomach, cradling the life within me as if it were the only thing keeping me grounded.
“I’ll do my best,” I whispered, my voice trembling but resolute. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have a good life. Even if it means letting go of the man I love.”
The words felt like a lie, but I clung to them anyway, desperate for something to hold on to. For my father. For my child. For myself.
But deep down, I knew the truth. Letting go of Sebastian wasn’t just difficult-it was impossible.
He was as much a part of me as the baby I carried, as the blood that coursed through my veins. And no promise, no matter how well-intentioned, could ever change that.