SASHA’S POV
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. The words tasted bitter, tinged with shame, but they needed to be said.
Sebastian tilted his head, his sharp eyes studying my face. “What was that?” he asked, though I could tell he had heard me perfectly well.
The heat rushed to my face, my chest tightening as I forced myself to say it louder.
“I said I’m sorry.” The words came out clearer this time, yet they still felt too small to express the turmoil swirling inside me.
His expression softened, the faintest smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “That’s better.”
I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “I mean it, Sebastian. I’m sorry for… for everything. For how I’ve been acting. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I” My voice cracked, and I felt a lump forming in my throat.
Sebastian reached out, his warm hand brushing against my cheek as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
His touch was tender, grounding me in a way I desperately needed. “It’s okay, Sasha,” he said, his voice low and steady.
But it wasn’t okay. Not really. I looked down at my hands, clasped tightly in my lap, trying to find the right words.
“No, it’s not. I’ve been… scared,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper again. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, Sebastian. And it’s terrifying.”
His thumb stroked my cheek gently, coaxing me to meet his gaze. “Why terrifying?” he asked, his tone gentle but curious.
I bit my lip, the raw honesty of the moment almost too much to bear. “Because I’ve never had something I was so afraid of losing.”
Sebastian’s eyes darkened slightly, a flicker of something unspoken passing through them.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Sasha,” he said. “You’re not going to lose me. Ever.”
I nodded, wanting to believe him, but the lingering doubt clung to the edges of my mind. “I do trust you, Sebastian. I do. It’s just…” I hesitated, struggling to put my feelings into words.
“It’s just that I’ve never been in a relationship like this before. I’ve never cared this much, and sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with all these emotions.”
Sebastian let out a quiet chuckle, his hand slipping from my cheek to cup my chin, lifting my face so I couldn’t look away.
“You’re not supposed to know everything, Sasha. Relationships aren’t about having all the answers. They’re about figuring things out together.”
I felt a small, reluctant smile tugging at my lips. “I know that. At least, I think I do. But… it’s your past, Sebastian. Sometimes it just gets to me, even when I don’t want it to.”
He frowned slightly, his brows knitting together in concern. “What about my past?”
I took a shaky breath, hating the vulnerability that came with saying it out loud. “The women, Sebastian. The ones you’ve been with before me. I know they’re not here now. I know they don’t matter to you anymore.”
“But… sometimes, I can’t help but think about them. About how you might have looked at them, touched them, cared for them… the way you care for me.”
Sebastian’s jaw tightened for a brief moment, but his eyes remained soft as they locked onto mine. “Sasha,” he said firmly, “I don’t compare you to anyone. Not now, not ever. You are the only one I see. The only one I’ve ever truly loved.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “I believe you,” I said, my voice trembling.
“I do. But I might need you to remind me sometimes. I might need… constant assurance.”
Sebastian let out a quiet sigh, leaning forward until his forehead rested against mine. “If that’s what you need, then I’ll give it to you,” he said.
“I’ll remind you every day if I have to, Sasha. You are my everything.”
The sincerity in his voice was overwhelming, and I felt the weight of my insecurities begin to lift. “I’m sorry,” I whispered again, my eyes closing as I let the closeness of him soothe my frayed nerves.
“You don’t have to keep apologising,” he murmured, his lips brushing against mine in the faintest of kisses.
“But I do,” I insisted, pulling back just enough to look at him. “I let my own fears get in the way. I let them make me doubt you, and that’s not fair to you. Or to us.”
Sebastian’s hand slid down to the nape of my neck, pulling me closer. “You’re human, Sasha. You’re allowed to feel things, even when they’re messy. But don’t ever doubt this, us. Don’t doubt what we have.”
“I won’t,” I promised, my voice breaking slightly. “At least, I’ll try not to.”
He smiled then, a real, genuine smile that made my heart ache with how much I loved him. “That’s all I can ask for.”
And then he kissed me. Not the soft, fleeting kiss from before, but something deeper, something that felt like a promise in itself.
His lips moved against mine with a tenderness that melted every lingering doubt in my mind, and when we finally pulled apart, I felt like I could breathe again.
“You’re the only one, Sasha,” he said, his voice low and serious. “You always have been, and you always will be.”
My heart swelled at his words, and I couldn’t stop the tears that slipped down my cheeks. But this time, they weren’t tears of sadness or fear. They were tears of relief, of hope, of love.
“I love you,” I said, the words coming out stronger than I expected.
“I love you too,” Sebastian replied, his hands framing my face as he pressed another kiss to my lips. “And nothing will ever change that.”
In that moment, with his arms around me and his words echoing in my heart, I knew he meant it. And for the first time in a long time, I let myself believe it completely.