The sunlit surroundings embraced me with a warm hug, bringing tranquility to my senses. Amidst the quiet, a vibrant field unfolded, where birds soared and bees buzzed. The expansive meadow, adorned with short grass and vivid flowers, seemed to prompt a question: Is this what heaven resembles?
Contemplating my existence, I pondered if I were a deity here. Was my origin the ultimate endpoint, granting extended life? Did life conclude without an afterlife?
Was I not the custodian of souls who traversed Earth? If so, where were they now? Did a divine entity govern this realm?
Amidst numerous queries, one certainty prevailed-my emotions remained suspended, afloat in an idyllic limbo. The sun’s rays bestowed a serenity unknown to both humans and animals on Earth.
Understanding my whereabouts seemed irrelevant; the sole significance lay in being present. “Peace is the sole emotion that matters here,” I declared, absorbing my new reality with closed eyes.
Unexpectedly, a voice shattered my peace-“I’m afraid that is where you are wrong.” Shooting my eyes open, I am face to face with my grandmother. The former moon goddess stood before me. Her appearance is seemingly a bit frail but belied a confidence hinting at latent power.
Oh, how I wish she had come to me before I took my last breath.
In our interaction, a familial resemblance emerged-There was some sort of resemblance, almost could imagine that this is how I will look at my old age. We had the same hair and eye color, and her demeanor was not one to intimidate but there was enough confidence to let the other person know that even they were not intimidated and within them lay a power unbeknown.
I was like that.
No wonder I could never truly connect with my mother for she was completely different. Sometimes she had a mind of her own and sometimes, my father thought for the both of them and she let him.
My mother was in no way a leader.
I believe all women can be leaders but my mother chose a life behind the leader. It doesn’t mean that once mated, one cannot be in a position to lead. No, my mother chose to be that way.
It is who she is but Josey and I? We were different.
We may have mates, but we remain the leaders of our life. Making our decisions and fighting for what or who we love.
Acknowledging her expectations, I confronted my grandmother’s spectral form. She affirmed her anticipation, “I see your mind is swirling with questions. I will only answer three of them so choose wisely,” My gran says to me. She looked old but she moved easily, sitting on the ground to be next to me.
“You have been expecting me…” I say, not in a question but my gran answers me.
“Yes. I knew this day would come and I wanted to be the one to receive you. That is your first question.” She says and I open my mouth to close it. It seems I had forgotten that she only gave me 3 questions to ask and I had wasted one.
“Am I dead?” I questioned. She explained that I existed in neither life nor death-a unique crossroads.
“You are neither dead nor alive. This is where you choose where you need to go. Not many are afforded this opportunity, it is a chance of a lifetime. So, you can either come with me and leave your life behind to start a new one… one of finding peace. You can also choose to go back and finish what you have started.”
Overwhelmed, I confessed my weariness,
“Were you ever in my shoes this same way? I mean, have you been here before? And if yes, what did you choose? No! 3 questions are not enough. Why did you die? Why did you choose to die instead of coming back to Earth? Was it too much? Always at the receiving end of backstabbing and hurt? Never chosen but always choosing other people and fighting for them? What made you decide to never go back?” Finally out of breath.
“I said three questions.” She looks at me sternly. Prompting a change in her perspective. In a surprising twist, she redirected my path, urging me to return to the living world. Unfinished business awaited, and she reassured me of my unmatched strength., and she reassured me of my unmatched strength.
“I lead a life the same as yours. Mated to the wrong man for my life and heart belonged to another. Although unlike you, I fulfilled my duties as the moon goddess and a mated woman. We were born into this! It isn’t fair but that is what life intended for us so who are we to challenge it? You had one job. Your heart can handle so much more if you focus less on your heart’s desires and more on what is needed for the world to run smoothly and as intended.” She says to me.
“You were gifted great power. A power not for selfish gains but of great yielding, to protect and provide for those below you.” Gran says.
“I was tired,” I say, finally remembering what brought me here. All the emotions I thought were in limbo, attacking me all at once and crumbling what was once a heart.
I feel the tears staining my face, my heart beginning to ache for I had left my son. I had left Xander and Josey.
CJ would soon hear about my departure from the living and after losing his mate, how would he take it?
First his mother and then mate… now me.
“You have unfinished business. I know this was your decision to make but today I am changing the rules and making that decision for you. Go back and rule. Nobody can take your power away from you. Nobody can punish you for you are the punisher.” My grandmother says to me.
“Your son, my father is the ruler of that realm. He decides…” I try to say but she interrupts me by raising her hand to shut me up.
“You are the moon goddess to all. Your strength surpasses all and I thought you knew that by now. A leader was chosen so that women could not lead, would not be allowed to lead for men cannot take it… but don’t take that as a way for them to have more power over you. You have the power of a god, the power to bring life and death. Power for all things living and dead… there is nothing you can’t do! So, go back and claim what is rightfully yours. Make the world a place you would be proud of and your life worth living.” She says.
“That’s it! I will come with you but only for a few days. I need to punish my son for being stupid.” She tells me before grabbing me by my elbow and the ground opens up to swallow us.
“Is that easy? Can one jump from death to life just like that?” I ask and Gran chuckles.
“Have you not been listening? You have power over the living and the dead. Nothing is out of bounds for you.” Gran tells me.
Reluctantly, I accepted her decree but with a determination to return, driven by the need to address my family and take back what was mine. With a firm grip on my elbow, my grandmother and I descended into the once-familiar life, the ground enveloping us in its mysterious embrace to return to a world that shows no appreciation of us and to make those who wronged me, pay. No matter who they were in my life.