38

It was when Sia returned from his trip to the ‘great castle’, that I remembered the conversation Anita and I had before her death.
Maybe I should have welcomed him before firing him with questions, but I needed to know for what peculiar reason the asshat wants me dead.
“Anita and I spoke…”
He cut me off. “I didn’t know you spoke to ghosts.”
I glared at him. “Before she died, we had a conversation, and she revealed to me your cruel intentions.”
“I’ve always had cruel intentions, so no surprise there.”
“Are those intentions cruel to the point that you want to kill me? That you want me dead? I’m your mate Sia, by the blood bond that is. You can’t wish me dead.”
“I don’t wish you dead. I want you dead period.”
“But why? I know I might be annoying at times.” I paused when he shot me a look. “Okay maybe all the time, but annoyance isn’t simply enough reason to want someone dead.”
“Firstly, you’re not someone. Omegas are never considered someones. Two, you’re right about that. Me wanting you dead is a personal vendetta I have against my older brother,” he sneered out the last part.
My eyebrows furrow. “I don’t see how this concerns Ruarc.”
He chuckles. “So, you still don’t know of what importance you are to him?”
I blink, still confused. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
“I’m not the one with the answers,” he says stiffly.
I leave Sia alone, my mind a jumbled mess. Since he won’t give me answers, I would have to pry them from Ruarc. And if my calculations are correct, he would be in the pack’s brothel, having some woman feel him up. I was right. He was seated on a battered couch, a naked female straddling him. My nostrils flared but I made no move to stop them. I just hope he notices and eventually he does. He pushes the female off and jumps to his feet.
“We need to talk,” I say pointedly.
And just like that, wolves exit the brothel, sluts and males alike. I wonder what he did to them.
“The brothel is empty now, so speak,” he says and sits back on the couch, crossing his legs. I stared at his firm thighs, before lifting my gaze.
“Why did you kill Anita?”
He was taken aback by my question. “Well, I didn’t see that one coming.”
“As expected, answer me Ruarc, why did you kill Anita?”
“You already know the answer to that Crinka. I killed her because she was carrying Sia’s child.”
“That is not the reason and you know it,” I say, glaring. “You killed her because you knew that she was responsible for the wolfsbane found in my system. Is that correct?”
He nods. “Why does this matter to you anyways?”
“You killed a pregnant woman because she hurt me. That means I do mean something to you.”
He looks at me. “Did Sia tell you that?”
“Yes. So, is it true? Do I matter to you?”
“Of course, you do Crinka. Of course, you do. You belong to me Crinka, irrespective of Sia’s stupid mark and the bond between you two. I would have you Crinka, hook, line and sinker.”
I would have swooned over his words if I didn’t understand the intensity in them.
“I don’t belong to you.”
He slams his hand down on the table and I jolt. “You belong to me.”
Those words were only said to your significant other. The one person that can complete you in a way others can’t. The one person that held a part of your soul with them.
Your mate.
I took a step back as it dawned on me. I was his mate. Goddess, how did I not see it before? The possessiveness towards me, the tiny sparks that flew when we touched, and the hate in his eyes when he looked at Sia’s mark.
I am his mate, but he isn’t mine.
I didn’t realize I had collapsed until I find Ruarc looming over me.
….
For two days, I remained immobile.
The only thing I did was look around, and ponder over Ruarc’s words. I can’t be his mate, but the signs are there. Ruarc has never left my side, and every now and then, he’d take my hand in his, begging me to say something. And when he did that, the six rings on his fingers would glint and I would be reminded of my place. I recovered on the third day. I really didn’t want to talk but I had to, because Ruarc would go nuts if I didn’t.
“How long?”
His head snapped towards me. A hurdle of emotions passed through his eyes and I thought he wanted to cry.
“What?”
“How long did you know I was your mate?”
He took my hand in his, the rings glinting in the sunlight. He draws circles on my palm and I stare at him imploringly, waiting for a reply. He gives me one two minutes later.
“Since the auction I think.”
That long? Why didn’t he tell me?
“Is that why you were trying to buy me?”
He looks at me embarrassed. Cute.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have worked something out.”
“To be honest, I was surprised that I have a wolf for my mate.” I bristled at that.
“You’re wolf too.”
“I’m a lycan, Crinka,” he says with pride. “Your kind are a lesser rank.”
I would’ve rolled my eyes if my head wasn’t hurting.
“So, after you got over your surprise?”
“I went looking for you, but Sia kept you hidden.”
I look at the rings. It makes me angry, knowing that I would just be a seventh for him.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“You’re not the first woman to ask me this. Nuella asked the same.”
Of course. Thanks for letting me know I am just a slippery second for you.
“And what did you tell her?”
“That there are a lot of expectations given that I am the Crown Prince. I needed to secure an heir and I married more than one to fool the public.”
“And did that work?”, I ask him.
“I had Eloive with a concubine. The princesses are nothing but barren brats.”
I mull over what he just said. “Sia said he wants me dead as a personal vendetta against you. What did he mean by that?”
He stiffened when he heard me. “Don’t take him seriously,” was all he said.
“And why not? Excuse me but Sia has almost succeeded in his attempts countless times, and you expect me to see it as a joke?”
“Fuck Crinka. I didn’t know.”
“Tell me. I want to know everything”
He remains quiet and I laugh. “That’s what I thought.”
I threw the covers off and pulled my hand away from his grasp. “Crinka, wait.”
“Oh, don’t touch me,” I say getting on my feet. “You killed Anita, and that indirectly killed Lyles. Maybe you should have some fucking control when you go around killing people that hurt me,” I say and he knows who I’m talking about. I’m talking about Davidson.
Ruarc rises, eyes on me. “I am sorry but we both know how little control I have when it comes to you.”
Yet you couldn’t seem to fuck me.
“I should be glad but I am not. I cannot be your mate Ruarc.”
He stilled at my words. “Don’t do this to me Crinka,” he says, his voice pleading.
“Ruarc, I find you very attractive, sexy even but I can’t be with you and I have my reasons. Sia and I have a blood bond and it won’t allow me be with another man. Plus, you have wives Ruarc. And I don’t want to be an affair tucked away in the four walls of a bedroom in some shitty old cabin. I… I hope you understand”.
A tear rolled down his cheeks. My heart squeezed at the sight. I made him cry. My hurtful words did this to him.
“Please,” he begs. “I’ll do anything Crinka, just don’t do this to me.”
His voice is broken and I want to go over and hug him, wipe away his tears and apologize. But I don’t do that. Instead, I strengthen my resolve, and harden my gaze.
“My mind has been made up. I can’t accept you. I’m sorry.”