Sia hadn’t gone to get me painkillers. There were actually painkillers in the house and I’m hurt he lied about it. No. Sia had gotten me something I never expected from him.
A pregnancy test.
I stare at the stick he’s handing to me, incomprehensible thoughts flooding my brain. Why had he done it? Did he think I was pregnant? Do I think I’m pregnant? Can I even be pregnant? Is this the reason he asked me to go see a doctor? To check if I’m positive? If I am, what would happen next? Would Sia reject it? Me? My life and baby will be in danger because of Anita. Will I even accept it? I don’t like children and even if I ever wanted one, not like this. Not when I’m omega. Not when I’m a rogue and also not as a slave. Sia’s slave, Sia’s property. If Sia and I haven’t had sex, I would have wondered how this child came about. Sia waits patiently for me to get over my shock and say something and I do.
“You think I am pregnant?”, I ask in disbelief. “Seriously?”
Sia exhales. “I don’t want to think anything.”
“Well I don’t want to think anything either, so put that fucking test back in the bag and return it ’cause I’m not taking that test. You know why? I find it stupid that you think I am pregnant.”
Fuck, a baby with Sia? How will my life be? Not sweet though. Sia along with Anita, hates my guts. My baby, if I even have one, won’t survive. I can manage.
“There’s a possibility that you might not be pregnant and another possibility that you might be. And we won’t know that if you don’t take the test.”
Stupid test. So full of stupid possibilities. Isn’t there a spot in the test for ‘No womb’? People should learn to be creative.
“Then you take the test Sia, because I’m not taking it,” I yell, breathing hard.
“Don’t be so stubborn Crinka. You won’t die if you take it.”
“And you won’t die either,” I shot back.
“I pray the test is positive. I want to see what Sia’s child will look like. I hope it’s a girl. At least Waxlyn, won’t be alone.”
Who the fuck invited him into this conversation? Sia and I both glare at Cocci, and he raises his hand in defense. “I will just leave.”
“Good. Nobody needs you anyway,” I say and he leaves the room rolling his eyes.
“It seems like you’re scared of taking the test.”
“I’m not scared. I just don’t want to take the test.”
“It’s not that difficult Crinka. You just have to pee in the stick and wait a while.”
“Why can’t I shit in it? Or can’t it hold my faeces? There’s no point in taking it because I don’t want to pee.”
Sia rolls his eyes. “Then I’ll wait until you want to,” he says sitting cross-legged on the bed. I groan in frustration. Why is he so annoying?
“Fine I’ll take the test,” I say taking the stick from his hand. I feel sick just touching it. And the idea of peeing on a stick has me really uncomfortable and I wonder how people enjoy this shit. Why not a cup where people can shit in? I’d put a baby’s poo there and it would be negative. But no. These days, people have coconuts for their brains. Sia included.
I want to flush the stick down the toilet, but Sia would only get me another. I drop it on the floor and wash my hands, before coming out to meet him.
“You can go check it. I’m not doing that,” I say leaning against the wall closing my eyes. Three minutes felt so long and I felt relieved, a little scared when I heard shuffling of feet. I open my eyes and peek at him. Sia is standing there with a flat look on his face, staring at the stick. That result would change a lot of things, if goddess hope not, it is positive.
“What did it say?”
Sia breathed and I held my breath.
“It’s negative.”
I collapsed.
?
I’m fighting the need to sleep as Sia drives along the path, past bushes and trees. I can feel the caffeine wearing off. If I’m not pregnant, then why the strong need to sleep? I’d have to ask Izal. Cocci was heartbroken when he found out the test was negative. That guy acts like a child at times. I wanted to know what Sia would do if I was indeed pregnant. I would never know if I didn’t ask him. So, I did.
“Sia, if the test was positive, what would you have done?”
The tires screeched and I wonder why Sia has stopped the car. He is silent for a while and I don’t think he has given it serious thought.”
“Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done. You becoming pregnant would be so wrong.”
My breath got stuck in my throat. I don’t know why, but hearing those words hurt me. “You… you don’t like children? You don’t want one?”
He peers at me. “Do you? This is getting really awkward so let’s put this behind us and go and see Massa.”
Where does this Massa guy live because I don’t see a house, only wet grasslands, bushes and trees. Sia marches forward. “Are you coming or not?”
He takes my hand in his, leading me to a warehouse. So, Massa lives in a warehouse? How does he even cope? I can’t even see a door.
“The door is at the back. I’ll go check. Stay here.”
I nod, missing the feel of his hand in mine. I tried to imagine what Massa looks like. Eloive’s appearances had thrown me off guard, and I wonder what he’s doing now. He seems so far away, isolated from everyone else.
“Massa is not at home. I am going to Eloive’s place. He might be there.”
“Then I’m coming with you. I already have caffeine in my system Sia. I won’t fall asleep. Trust me.”
“Fine. If you close your eyes even for a moment. I’ll have you examined by a doctor.”
I roll my eyes.
**************
We meet Eloive at his doorway, fishing in his pockets for his key. He is well dressed, his hair combed back, belt buckled, no sign of boxers, loafers on his feet, his shirt buttoned. He looks… different.
“Where are you coming from?”, Sia asks him.
“Hell,” Eloive replied, rolling his eyes. The door wouldn’t budge, even after he had slotted in the key. Maybe it’s broken. “I went on a date. It was awful, since father ruined it”..
Is he referring to Massa? Eloive went on a date? WIth who?
“A date? I didn’t know you had friends.”
“Well, I’m not lonely like you and that old man want me to be.”
Sia reached out to touch him and Eloive slammed himself against the door. It opened and my head spun. This can’t be happening now. I enter the house after Sia, using the wall for support. Eloive stares at me, before turning to Sia.
“Is she on drugs? ‘Cause she’s acting really weird.”
“I’m not on drugs,” I snapped. “And I’m not acting weird. I just need coffee.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re pregnant or about to be. What happened to your shoulder?”
How did he know about that? I’m wearing a top for goodness’ sake!
“A shark bit her,” Sia said. “But she’s fine now.”
“It gave you no right to mark her,” Eloive said bitterly. “Shark bites don’t make people dizzy,” he added. “I think she was drugged; the wound is infected or her wolf is disturbed.”
Drugged? Who would have the heart to drug me? The wound is not infected, I know, but what is he saying about my wolf? That she is disturbed? How did Eloive know all this?
“Stop talking nonsense Eloive,” Sia snapped. “We were alone the night before and I didn’t spike her drink.”
“But you didn’t drink it. You didn’t even taste it,” I say holding my breath before downing the coffee Eloive had given me. Yuck! I don’t know how people like that stuff. Amused, Eloive takes the cup away for a refill. I hope it’s not for me. I’ve already overdosed on that shit.
“You think I drugged you?”, Sia asks. “Why would I do such a thing?”
“I don’t know. The same way I don’t know why you wanted to kill me back then in the river,” I say, my voice rising.
“I didn’t do shit to you Crinka. I could have left you there to die, yet I don’t even get a thank you.”
I laugh bitterly. Is this guy serious? A thank you? For what?
“Thank you? You want one? For what exactly?”
I don’t give him space to talk. “Oh, I know. A thanks for ruining my life? A thanks for fucking my mate? A thanks for making me a slave? A thanks for raping me? A thank you for trying to kill me? A thank you for marking me? Is that what you want Sia? A fucking thanks? Then there you have it Sia. Thank you. Thank you for all the pain you’ve caused me. Thank you for making me rogue. Thank you for ruining my life!”