“No, no, no, no,” she said as the video started to automatically play.
A handheld camera or cellphone, judging by the shakiness, showed the interior of an office and a familiar form on her knees. She had a blindfold on and was topless. The camera holder moved up and waved his hand in front of her face, showing that she couldn’t see. Panning down, she saw the blonde’s lips wrap around the man’s shaft, and instantly start to suck him off like the slut she knew the girl to be.
“NO,” she screamed, flinging her phone across the room and clutching her face with both hands in horror.
It hit the wall with a thunk and landed on the floor. It was her. The motherfucker had recorded her, and she hadn’t even known. The realization of what that meant slammed into her like a punch to the stomach.
“NO!” she screamed again, rocking back and forth, oblivious to anything else in the room or the strong hands on her shoulders, shaking her.
“No, no, no, nononononono,” she said, shaking and crying.
“SAM,” a strong voice said.
Devolving into a quaking mass of sobs and crying, she sat there for what felt like an hour. Desperate to just fade away into nothing, she willed herself to just let go. She didn’t though, of course, and was left with her pain, embarrassment, anger, and regret. She felt the arms holding her, felt the strength of whoever it was. Dropping her hands, she looked up and saw the concerned face of her big brother. Wiping the tears, she sighed and shook her head.
“What did he do now?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
“When’s it going to end?” she asked.
He was obviously concerned, but very confused. Sitting there quietly, he simply continued to hug her and be there for her. Several more minutes went by as she sat there, picking at her fingernails and lost in thought.
Suddenly, she sighed hard and shook her head. Shaking free of him, she stood and walked over to where the phone was and picked it up. She had three new text messages, but the video had run all the way through. Picking it up, she handed Dane the phone and went to lay back down on her bed, sighing deeply.
“Replay it,” she said, staring off into the distance.
She heard him tapping at the screen of her phone in the silence of her room and waited for the other shoe to drop.
“That son of a bitch,” he said at length.
Turning and looking over her shoulder, she saw him rubbing his temples for a moment and then turn toward her. She turned away after a few seconds, then felt him lay down behind her without a word. An hour passed by, as he lay there behind her, stroking her hair and being a comforting presence. Finally, he cleared his throat and sat up, moving to the end of the bed.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She sighed deeply again, then sat up and moved down near him. “No,” she said. “Not really. But, what good will it do to stay upset about it?”
“I don’t know,” Dane answered. “I just feel like I don’t even know how to begin to comfort you.”
She chuckled quietly, then felt him staring at her. “You being here is fine,” she said quietly, not looking up.
“How… how did you find that?” he asked, looking over.
She swore quietly, having forgotten about Brandon, and reached over to grab the phone from where it was laying on her bed.
“A guy that’s… well, a guy I know sent it to me,” she said.
She tapped the screen and held the phone low in her lap. Dane sat beside her. Bringing up the string of text messages, she saw the last couple of text messages come up and then scrolled down to the newest ones.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Sam? If I was wrong, I’m sorry. If I was right, I’m sorry about that too. I just thought that if it was you, you’d want to know.”
She sighed. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“He sounds like he was trying to be a good guy,” he pointed out.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Is it bad that he’s seen… it?”
She sighed, shaking her head. “No, I just, I’m scared about who else could have seen it.”
“Well, at least you’re blindfolded in it,” he said.
She nodded. “You could tell it was me, though, right?” she asked, looking up at him.
He nodded. “But only because I know you, Sam.”
“Great, now I only have to worry about people who actually know me recognizing me in a porno movie on the internet. God knows how many others are even out there!”
Dane sighed. “I didn’t…”
“No,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. It just seems to be one thing after the other. I just want… a breather from the drama.”
He nodded. “I know,” he said quietly. “I wish I could take your burdens. I don’t like seeing my baby sister so upset.”
She shrugged, leaning her head into him.
“I’m sorry about you having to see… what I was doing,” she said, glancing over at him. “Not exactly something you want to picture a sister doing.”
“It’s only upsetting because of the context, Sam. If it was something you consented to, it would be a different ballgame.”
She looked up, raising an eyebrow at him.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he said. “I just mean that… if…” he fell silent. “I’m not gonna dig myself any deeper,” he said.
She allowed herself to feel a little better. “It was pretty funny,” she admitted.
He chuckled. “Anything to make you happy again is worth it.”
She giggled lightly, just a few seconds long, and sighed deeply. Another minute of silence passed, and Dane chuckled, looking over at her. That caused her to laugh a little harder and caused him to sigh and roll his eyes.
“Go ahead,” he said.
She smirked a little more and looked over, not really sure what was so funny to her in that moment, but then he turned and crossed his eyes at her, and the absurdity of his timing sent her over the edge. Bursting out in a cackle, she covered her mouth and started howling with laughter. For at least thirty seconds, she was laughing, then accidentally snorted and caused him to laugh.
Five minutes later, she was on the ground, clutching her stomach, and he was laying back on the bed, the laugh shivers hitting both of them.
“God, I don’t know why we’re even laughing,” he said.
She giggled a little more and then finally sat up, a staccato stream of laughter escaping her lips. He stood, though, and leaned over, yanking her to her feet.
“Alright, pornstar,” he said, smirking at her.
It wasn’t funny at all, but in the moment, she found it absolutely hilarious. She burst out laughing again, cackling and falling back to the ground as she clutched at her stomach.
“Ah, fuck, it hurts,” she groaned, holding it tight and rolling to her side. “Stop making me laugh.”
He was staring down at her, grinning widely. “Best sound in the world,” he said.
Reaching down after she finally recovered, he helped her to her feet, and she found herself hugging him.
“Alright,” she said, shaking her head at him. “Thank you for making me feel better again, but no more jokes. I feel like I’m going to be sore in the morning anyway.”
He wiggled his eyebrows independently and crossed his eyes again, and she bit her lip, pointing her finger at him and shooting a serious look his direction.
“No,” she said.
He winked, and then kissed her on the forehead. “Night Samantha,” he said. “I love you.”
“I love you too, big brother,” she replied. “Goodnight.”
He turned and walked out without any further antics. Waving as he shut the door behind him, she went and got her schoolwork out to make sure it was done before morning.
**
The next day, Sam went to her first class as normal, but there seemed to be a pall hanging over her that her “history boyfriends” could sense, and conversation was at a minimum. She was glad for it, actually. It allowed her to internalize all of the raw emotions and outbursts that she was afraid would burst out at the slightest provocation, no matter how small. The guys were nice to her, and she desperately needed that in her life.
Sitting in the snack bar area at their table, she sighed deeply and laid her head down on her arms as the guys sat quietly near her.
“Rough weekend?” Kev asked finally.
She nodded, not offering any more info and hoping they wouldn’t pry.
“I’m sorry I’m a stick in the mud today guys,” she said.
“We all have bad days,” Murphy said, rubbing her forearm as he sat beside her.
She shrugged and nodded, then sat up and spun around in her seat. He put his arm around her, and she sighed, leaning into him and just enjoying the silence and the presence of people who cared being near her. After a few minutes, she turned and leaned over onto Marley’s shoulder, then reached out and held Kev’s hand for a while.
“I appreciate you guys being so sweet today,” she said, standing as time got near for class.
“We’ll see you tomorrow gorgeous,” Marley said.
“Hope you feel better,” Murphy added.
She nodded, turning and walking toward class. Realizing that she was going to see Brandon, she grew a little nervous and wondered if she should just skip but knew that she couldn’t avoid it forever. Going in, she sat down in her normal spot, and then saw movement to her right after a minute or so. Glancing up, she saw Brandon easing his way over.
“Is it okay to sit here?” he asked.
She nodded.