“Gramma, I didn’t…” he began, to have her cut him short.
“You lied to her Joey; oh, you didn’t flat out tell her a bunch of whoppers, but you left out really important stuff, things she was entitled to know; you lied by omission, and that’s just the same as telling her a big, fat lie to her face! Add that to all the other shocks she had to face today, it’s no wonder she ran! If you love Luna, you’ll go find her, and you’ll tell her everything, everything, you hear me? When you’re done, you get down on your knees and you apologize to her for doing what you did, and you beg her forgiveness!”
Roisian smiled grimly and fixed him with her gaze.
“She’s a good girl, and you hurt her really badly, so now you go find her, you let her say her piece while you keep your lip zipped, and when she’s done, you apologize, properly; the worst thing you can do with an apology is ruin it with an excuse, and you have none anyway, so don’t you go making up any! This is your mess; baby, go clean it up! Now git!”
Joey nodded mutely, astonished by her vehemence, her words outlining that acid core of guilt in him; she was right; he’d done this, now he had to fix it. He rushed upstairs and hurriedly stuffed clothes into a flight bag, and came downstairs to find his grandmother still there. She nodded at the door as he came into the room.
“You’re staying with me tonight, Joey; I’ll take you to the airport in the morning, so leave your car in Robbie’s parking garage. Move it!”
*
The following morning, Joey waited for his flight, more dead than alive; he’d tossed and turned all night long, unable to sleep, replaying the previous day over and over again. Now he sat uncomfortably in the airport lounge while he waited for his flight, his eyes gritty from lack of sleep, and his brain fogged with fatigue.
Roisian waited with him, not allowing herself to show any of the pain and sorrow she felt for him; right now she needed him to focus on getting on that plane and bringing his girl home again, not sitting alone in his empty house and brooding.
Joey was in a world of his own, guilt and loss ricocheting around inside him, when a tap on his shoulder startled him out of his reverie. He looked up to see Casey standing there, Joe against her chest in his baby-carrier, and a baby-bag slung over her shoulder. She smiled at him as she slipped the harness and handed him his son, and slid the bag onto the seat next to him.
“I can’t get him to settle, Joey,” she grinned, “he misses his momma, so he’s going home with you!”
With that, she kissed him on the cheek and stepped back, ruffling the little boy’s hair. Joey glanced sideways at his grandmother’s smile, realization blooming inside him; somehow she’d known Joe needed to go with him, and now here he was.
The flight home was uneventful, the plane touching down in Springfield exactly on time. As Joey walked through the ‘Arrivals’ gate into the main circulating area, he wasn’t at all surprised to see Jonah waiting for him. Joey felt a burst of trepidation even as he steeled himself for what promised to be a very uncomfortable meeting with the man who was the nearest thing Luna had to a father. Jonah merely skinned his teeth in his version of a smile, and took Joey’s flight bag.
They drove in silence to the Hollister farm, Joey fidgeting constantly, alight with a combination of excitement at seeing her again and dread that she’d reject him finally, utterly, and completely. The little boy picked up on his father’s unease and seemed as agitated as Joey the entire time. They reached the farm and pulled into the yard, but Joey sat immobile, too keyed-up to move. It was only when Jonah clapped him on the shoulder that he climbed out of the truck and squared his shoulders.
“Jonah… Sir, I… I mean, Luna and I, well, we…” he stammered, while Jonah waited, his face impassive as Joey tried to find a way to tell him what had happened between the two of them.
“It’s okay, son, I know, Luna told me everything; I guess I should’a seen this comin’ too. I knowed she was that man’s daughter, but I guess with him not knowin’ ’bout her she’d be safe, so I never tole her neither; what she didn’t know, she couldn’t let slip. I guess it woulda come out one day. These things are hard to keep hidden in a place like Springfield, but I thought with him gone, it didn’t matter no more; guess we was both wrong. ”
He hefted Joey’s flight-bag, and ruffled little Joe’s hair lightly.
“Looks like his momma, don’t he? Luna’s inside, son; you go tell her what she needs to hear. Sarah and Miss Rosie told me what happened, and you were both wrong, just like I was; she shouldn’t ‘a’ gone runnin’ off like that, but I guess I don’t blame her none. Now she’s up in there, and it’s your move, boy.”
Joey nodded and slipped the straps of the baby-carrier, intending to carry Joe inside, but Jonah gently took the little boy from him.
“I reckon there might be some hard words said, and he don’t need to hear or see that; you go on up; I’ll bring him up in a while. You go on now, do what’s gotta be done!”
Joey walked up the steps, the slight creak of each step sounding like a gunshot in his heightened state of agitation, pulled the screen-door open, and hesitated, turning back to look once more at his son in Jonah’s arms.
“You know you gotta do this, boy,” he said quietly, but Joey heard him clearly. He drew a deep breath and stepped into the house. There was no sound, nothing to hint she was here, but he could feel her presence beating against his consciousness, and so he did the only thing he could.
“Luna?” he called, “baby, it’s me, please, I… I need to say something to you, please baby, don’t do this!”
For long seconds there was utter silence, then came the sound of light footsteps on the stairs, and the sense of her presence intensified. He looked up and his heart slammed against his ribcage at the expression of loss, of deep hurt and deeper betrayal on her face, sorrows he’d put there, after solemnly promising he’d never hurt her or make her cry…
“Why did you come here, Joey?” she asked, her lip trembling, “haven’t you done enough? You let me fall in love with you, but you were never straight with me, were you? You hid all those… things; you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on, and I found out who I am the worst way I could! Haven’t you and your family done enough already?”
Joey paled as he saw how deeply she’d been hurt, but now he had to tell her how he felt, to apologize to her face, and then, if she still rejected him, at least he’d know, and he could leave, because there’d be nothing else to say, and nothing here for him anymore. Luna looked down at him, and his heart sank at the set, angry expression on her face. She looked away, and then spoke again, her voice low and expressionless, but there was still that quaver that said she was trying not to cry.
“Joey, why did you come here? You shouldn’t have; just go, please!”
Joey shook his head slowly.
“Please Luna, I wasn’t trying to deceive you, honest! I thought I’d kind of break it to you in bits, but I was wrong, that’s all I can say; I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I should have been straight with you from the beginning, and I wasn’t, and for that I apologize most sincerely; if you give me another chance, it will never happen again, I swear to God. Please, won’t you come down so we can talk?”
Luna stared at him for an uncomfortably long moment, then nodded curtly for him to precede her as she glided down the stairs; even in his turmoil of guilt and impending loss, Joey found time to marvel at her lithe grace as she descended the stairs. Once they were in the sitting room, she watched where he sat, then sat as far from him as she could, an action that wasn’t lost on him; he was losing her, and now, now was the most difficult part…
“So what else did you need to tell me, Joey? she asked, her voice flat, and her face set and emotionless, but even Joey could see it was only with an effort she could speak to him at all…
“Please, tell me, what more is there to say about your family? Our brother is shacked-up with our sister, and they have two kids, your aunt and her brother are shacked up, also with kids, and you want me to do that with you; have you no shame? I’m your sister, dammit, we’ve already done stuff no brother and sister should be doing, and why? Because you’re not supposed to want to do those things with your sister, it’s wrong, it’s sinful, and immoral, and illegal, just in case you forgot! But none of that seems to matter to your family, they just carry on regardless! I thought that kind of stuff only happened in Deliverance world, or the backwoods somewhere down south, but no, right out there in the open, in California, no less, blatant as can be, so you tell me, Joey Anderson, what more is there to say?”
Joey swallowed nervously; she was so mad at him; no-one had ever lost it with him like this before, but then he’d never done anything like this before either. Then his mother’s words came to him, something she’d been telling him and Robbie all their lives.
“Joey, whatever you do in this life, you have to face up to the consequences of your actions; the man in you faces his troubles, and he takes what comes. That’s what a man is, this is what your daddy wanted you to know, and how he wanted you to live your life. Be a man, Joey, just a man, that’s all you have to be, because you can’t be anything else.”
With that thought echoing in his head, he squared his shoulders, and plowed on.
“Luna, I didn’t know who your father was, I swear; I just fell in love with you, with Luna Hollister. Robbie and Casey, they love you too, and now they know they have a little sister, all they’re going to want for you is that you be happy. That’s all I want for you too. Baby, I didn’t tell you everything at once because I didn’t know how you’d take it. I see now that I was wrong, that I should have trusted you more, and all I can say is I’m sorry; I never meant to hurt you, or drive you away; all I want is for you to come back to me, and that’s the truth. After what you heard at Aunt Kat’s place you have every right to be angry and confused, but none of that makes any difference to me, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, not one iota, and that’s God’s honest truth!”