ROWAN
My eyes fly open with a start, instantly alert to any foreign movement.
It takes me a few moments that there was no one in the room and that it was just the running footsteps of the wolves outside that woke me up.
That is how it has been, ever since I had killed Vance and Viktor had left two weeks ago, I, as well as the rest of the settlement had been on alert.
An attack is coming, there was no if about it, this fact was for sure. The only issue is where it would come from.
Viktor or Dominik.
Or even worse…
Both.
A glance at my alarm clock shows that it is way past breakfast, and yet, I have no motivation to get off the bed.
The truth is that I haven’t had any since Viktor left.
I hadn’t realized how… much I liked his presence. How much I liked firmwad to it everyday and now that he is no longer here…
It hurt.
Goddess, it hurts.
This ache in my heart.
It almost makes me sick.
Not even when Dominik had… assaulted me or rejected me did I feel this bad.
I… was hurt, yes. But not heartbroken
In fact, if I examined what I actually felt then, underneath the rage, the pain and the despair, there was some relief, that I would never have to be his mate, that I would never have to see him again.
It is vastly different from what I feel now.
Even if I will not say it to anyone or admit it out loud, I just want to see him one last time.
Just once.
But being a leader means you have to do things that you otherwise would not do.
For the safety of the coalition, I had to let him go.
Now, I just wish my heart would get on board with the program and let me breathe.
With a resigned sigh, I get off the bed and head to the shower.
“The world won’t stop spinning just because you are heartbroken, Rowan,” I mutter out loud.
Less than an hour later, I am dressed and out the door, walking towards the kitchen.
“Good morning,” I greet as I take my seat on the table with Jhenelle, Lisa and Rina and plate myself a meal.
“Good morning,” Lisa greets while Rina just gives me a nod as she scrolls through her phone
The only one who doesn’t respond is Jhenelle who has not looked up at me since I walked in.
“Jhenelle?” I call. “I said good morning.”
“Good morning,” she mumbles before getting off the table with her homework and walking out of the kitchen.
“Unbelievable,” I mutter as I begin eating.
“Not really,” Rina says, still not lifting her head from her phone. “She’s a kid who misses lo- Viktor and doesn’t understand why he can’t be here. All she understands is that he did a wrong thing, he apologized and you didn’t forgive him. It is messing with her worldview and makes you look fickle.”
“I already explained-!”
“I know,” she says, interrupting me. “We all know and understand but like I said, she is just a kid. She is still too young to understand such complexities.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do then?”
“Be patient,” Lisa answers. “Assure her that you love her and try to be constant from now on. Oh, and also hope for the best.”
“Thanks a lot. That is very helpful. Also, what do you mean try to be constant? I am constant.”
“We know. But for Jhnelle who you have taught to always say sorry and apologize when she is wrong and that you would accept it, things might seem a little confusing for her.”
“This is a mess,” I scoff as I take in another spoonful before shoving the plate away from me. “And what is up with the meals lately?” I demand. “They are all so… bland. Is something wrong with the cook?”
They both exchange looks before Rina asks. “The cook?”
“Yes. Why is the food tasting off?”
“Hmm, a lot of people have made similar remarks,” Lisa says. “But they understand and make do.”
“Understand what?” I demand.
“Ro, Louis, sorry, Viktor has been the one cooking before he left. The cook left most of the preparations to him, now that he is… gone, things are back to the status quo, just like you wanted.”
“You mean, he had been the one cooking all this while?”
“Yep. He saw how much you liked his cooking and decided to take a more active rope in the kitchen. I miss him.”
“Hmm,” Rina concurs. “I miss him too. He made a mean baklava. I kept dreaming about that snack for days after he served it.”
How did I not know that?
I only mentioned once to him, how I loved his cooking and he just… why?
“Because,” Lisa answers. “Despite what you believe and think, I actually do believe that he cared for you. That he loved you. And that he regrets hurting you.”
“How can you say that? After the way he lied and played us for a fool? He said-”
“Actions speak louder than words,” Rina interrupts. Again. “You told me that. So, rather than focusing on what he said in order to survive and protect himself, instead look at what he did, to make you happy and to help the settlement grow.”
“He helped find Jhenelle, when she was missing,” Lisa begins. “He helped with the pack training, giving them new ideas and strengthening their forms. He-”
“I get it. But it doesn’t matter, does it? He hasn’t shown up since that day,” I say as I get to my feet. “So much for actions.”
“Guia,” Alden calls from the door way.
“What is it?” I ask as I look over to him.
“Louis is here again. He says it is urgent.”
Well, I will be damned.