VIKTOR.
Whack!
Whack! Whack! Whack!
Hit after hit, after hit, I let my anger and frustration at all that has happened pour out in the punching bag.
It is a good bag.
Sturdy too.
If not, it would have crumbled into shreds at the amount of force I am using on it.
“Why?!” I snarl out loud as I land another hit. “Why won’t she just tell me which pack it is?! Why does she keep pushing me away?! What won’t she let me in?!”
I just don’t get it.
It has been weeks now.
Weeks!
And she still keeps me at arm’s length
And I don’t know why.
She has already told me her darkest secrets.
So why is she still keeping me away?
Unless…
Unless she hasn’t told me all of it.
What could be worse than being assaulted?
I am not sure I want to know.
And yet, I have to.
If I am going to build. A life with her, I need to know all her fears so I can defend her from it.
And…
I also need to be honest with her.
About who I am.
That realization takes the wind out of me, causing me to drop to the floor in a depressed heap.
Where would I even start?
Would she even forgive me?
Would she let me explain?
Somehow, I doubt that.
I don’t know how long I remain there but I do eventually get up when I start reviewing weird glances from the other other wolves who had come in to train.
I am still unwilling to see her – her refusal to tell me about the man to let me worry over her, still hurts.
So, instead I begin an aimless wandering around the packs which is when I see them.
Three wolves carrying the headless corpse, another with the head.
It is covered, to protect the delicate sensibilities of those moving around.
“Hey!” I call out. “Where are you taking him to?” I ask as I jog up to them.
“Outside the settlement. We burn the corpses of outsiders there,” one of them replies.
“Do you do that often? Burn their bodies?”
“Only for those who mean harm to us.”
“Huh. Makes sense. Do you mind if I tag along?”
“Sure. But I don’t know why you would want that.”
“I am bored.”
They snort at me before nodding to me.
I tag along with them as they head out the settlement to an abandoned and secluded area a few meters down.
The place smells like acrid, with a hint of sweet scent to it
Burnt flesh and blood.
The ground is also scorched and brittle, suggesting that it has gone through fire frequently.
“How frequently do you burn… corpses?” I ask as I look around.
“You would be surprised,” one answers.
“Why do you say so?”
“Many wolves, pack and rogues, think that because we are made up of rogues, we can take in many riff raff. We don’t. Some rogues, some really terrible ones try to come in here and stir shit up. The Guia gives them the option of leaving peacefully on their own two legs or as a corpse. As you can tell, many choose to be stubborn.”
“And she kills them all?”
“Most of them. Usually, the ones who had… terrible pasts.”
“Terrible… how?”
“Abusers. Rapists. Child molesters. You know, the worst of the worst. I think she delights in their pain, in knocking them off their illusion of being a big bad wolf. By the time she kills them, they are a sniveling mess. She is a badass.”
“Hmm.”
Yes, she is.
I watch as they begin the process of burning. They reveal the head and I am disappointed by the fact that I don’t even recognize him.
Which was the whole point of me following them here, in the first place.
“Do you have any idea which pack he is from?” I ask once that is done.
“Nope. Not a clue. We don’t really care anyway. All the packs are the same.”
“You really believe that don’t you?”
“Yes. They think they are honorable and uplifting the werewolf code but they are the ones capable of more treachery than you can believe. Who needs enemies when you have friends and families like that.”
“I am sorry… you feel that way.”
“Right, you don’t have your memories yet,” one of them remarks. “Lucky you.”
“Right,” I murmur quietly. “Lucky me.”
The walk back is quiet as I am lost in thought over what was said.
Maybe… maybe it is time I… we evaluate the way we see the rogues.
We have been harsh with them and like they have so clearly painted out, we pack wolves are not exactly saints ourselves.
It’s time we changed.
“Louis!”
The high pitch squeal snaps me out of my dour thoughts and I look up in time to receive Jhenelle’s crashing body into my arms.
“Hi, Nelly,” I greet with a warm smile as I lift her up into the air.
Her delighted squalls reach my ears as I catch her skillfully.
“Where have you been?” She asks. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”
“You have? Why?”
“Because I am bored,” she says with a pout.
“Where is your mummy?”
“In a meeting. With aunty Rina, aunty Lisa and Alden.”
“Ah, I see.”
I ignore the flare of annoyance at me not being there to focus in Jhenelle’s smiling face.
“Well, since it is just me and you, what do you want to do?”
“Let’s go out! To town!”
“Jhnelle, you know how your mother feels about that.”
“But you will be with me, and I promise to be good. I just want some ice cream and to als play in the swings and also…”
“Okay, I get it. Maybe for just an hour then.”
“Three!”
“Two.”
“Fine,” she agrees with a pout before she squirms her way down and takes my hand. “Let’s gi!”
I let her drag me away with a smile, a part of me saying Rowan wouldn’t like it.
Well, tough luck.
She can find me if she has something to say.