His dreams that night were confused: images of Karen and their life together interspersed with flashes of Luna and her brilliant emerald eyes, her wide, generous smile, the sound of her laughter, her soft voice and distinctive Midwestern drawl, flavored with a soft Southern accent, her hip-swaying walk, and the way she tossed her hair out of her eyes as they talked.
Joey woke refreshed and, for once, with the memories of his dreams intact. He’d spent most of the night dreaming of Luna, of her warmth and companionship, her beauty, her way of making him feel alive and connected again. As he pondered what that meant, it came to him that he might be falling for her.
He was thunderstruck; it was like a light had suddenly switched on in his head, his own moment of epiphany. He spent the rest of the day in a daze, unable to relax or put his mind to anything, finally admitting to himself he was waiting for the sound of the door handle and her customary “Hello the house!”, and yet dreading it as well.
Uppermost in his mind was the fear that she didn’t feel the same way, that she was just being friendly and kind, and that he’d misread her entirely. It was with a mixture of trepidation and anticipation that he heard the front door open and Luna’s light tread in the hall.
“Joey, hello?” she called out, but her voice seemed different, almost hesitant, apprehensive, even.
“In here, Luna,” he called back from the kitchen, waiting for her to poke her head inside and give him her bright smile.
Their evening was the same as many other evenings: a shared pizza, followed by TV and maybe a couple of beers or sodas as they relaxed on the couch, but this time there was an undercurrent, a definite sense of things unsaid between the two of them. Joey finally got up the courage to say what he’d been feeling all evening.
“Luna, I think we need to talk… about last night”
Luna dipped her head down, then looked back up at him, a slow flush spreading across her pale skin.
“About… y’know…?” she ventured, and Joey grinned, nodding slightly.
“I’m sorry Joey, I didn’t mean to step over the line or anything, it was just…”
Joey cut her off.
“Is that what you think this is about? Luna, you didn’t offend me or anything; I… liked it, it was nice, and… I didn’t… I mean I wasn’t…! Oh Jeez!”
“What are you trying to say, Joey?” she asked softly, and watched as Joey in turn flushed.
“I guess I was trying to say it… it was nice, it was very nice, and I wanted… I wanted to do it again! I’m sorry if you’re offended, I know you didn’t mean anything by it, I…!”
Luna grinned at him.
“Listen to us, like a pair of kids on a first date! Joey, I don’t know why I kissed you, or why it took me so long. I only know I wanted to, and it was nice for me, too. I’ll understand if it’s too soon for you, but when you’re ready, I’ll be waiting!”
Joey was flabbergasted; he’d expected a lingering awkwardness after he apologized, and maybe a few days break from each other, not this; she’d liked it, she liked him, oh boy…
Luna stared speculatively at him for a second, her eyebrow slightly raised, an expression Joey found attractive and still hauntingly familiar. She suddenly reached over and took his hand, Joey not resisting, thinking distractedly how vividly grass-green her eyes looked as she searched his face. Luna smiled and dipped her head down, and when she looked back up into his eyes, her gaze frank and unafraid, her eyes were their original lambent emerald again.
“Joey, come here; I think I want to kiss you again, and I want to do it properly. Are you gonna let me?”
Joey grinned at the absurdity of the question, as if a normal guy ever needed to be dragged into kissing a lovely girl! The challenge in her voice also struck a chord deep inside him, and with that came his emotional response; of course he was going to kiss her back, they’d come this far, what kind of a fool would he be to shy away now?
Moving closer together, each seeing the other’s need in their eyes, their lips met, slowly, tentatively. Joey wanted to hold her closer, to press his lips harder to hers, to probe her mouth with his tongue, but held back, not sure if she was ready for that. He was caught unawares when her tongue darted between his lips and brushed against his. Their kiss intensified as they tasted each other, their tongues gently fencing as they kissed deeply, finally realizing where their friendship had been leading them.
Joey broke their kiss first, pulling away to look keenly into her eyes. Luna looked back steadily, a flush slowly creeping up into her cheeks.
“Wow, that was… incredible!” breathed Joey, “I’ve never been kissed like that before!”
Luna grinned at the compliment, even though she was feeling exactly the same thing; kissing him had felt new, and bright, and wonderful, like a door she’d never known was there had suddenly opened in her head, letting loose a feeling of something so right, so perfect, it was almost predestined in the way it settled into her mind. She knew at that moment that he was the one for her.
Joey was having almost the same experience; his mind was racing as all the pieces began clicking into place at last, along with a certain sense of panic that he was somehow betraying Karen by feeling this way about someone else.
“Luna, I… never thought I’d be doing this with you, it’s all a little… sudden!” he finally managed to stutter, grinning weakly at the smile slowly curving her lips.
“Joey, this has been building for days, weeks. I knew it, you knew it, hell, even Jonah knows it!”
Joey’s smile evaporated as he came back to earth with a bump; Jonah knew? Oh Shit!
Luna patted his wrist as she grinned at his expression.
“It’s okay, he’s not gonna rip your face off or anything; he told me to go easy with you, he said you were still hurtin’ big inside and I wasn’t to do anything to make the hurt worse, and we both need to make sure we knew what we wanted. I know what I want, I think I have from the first time I met you. Maybe you need to understand what you want. When you do, I’ll be waiting.”
She stood up to leave, to sit back down abruptly as Joey grabbed her wrist.
“Don’t go, please! I know what I want, I think I did from the first time I saw you too; I just didn’t know that you wanted it too!”
He gave her an embarrassed grin.
“I even dreamed about you, how weird is that? It scared me, it seemed too soon, I didn’t want to let Karen go, and it seemed wrong to even be thinking about you, but it doesn’t anymore. I don’t want you to go; I want you to stay, if that’s what you want…”
Luna cupped his face in her hands,
“I will, but you need to understand something; this isn’t some one-night-stand, or a passing infatuation, or us flirting; this feels real to me, and it’s what I want more than anything. If you can’t promise to give me what I want to give you, then I’m leaving, now, and you better go back to California, because I don’t know if I can stay here with you here, wanting you and knowing you don’t really want me!”
Joey looked into her eyes, seeing the determination there, and the slight quiver of her lip, and suddenly all his feelings for her solidified into a single, unbreakable certainty; he was ready to move on, and this was the girl he wanted.
For the first time in a very long time, other, more basic urges stirred in him as well; Karen had been gone for almost six months now, and he’d been with no-one in all that time, and now, for the first time, he wondered how Luna would look naked, how she would taste, and smell, and feel as she moved against him, and what she would look like when she woke first thing in the morning, with her blazing hair spread across a pillow, and her marvellous eyes still soft and blurred with sleep.
All those thoughts flew through his head in an eye blink; he realized she was waiting for a response from him. Joey drew a deep breath, knowing what he said next would be the start of a new life, or the death of something before it had ever had a chance to live. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes.
“Luna, you know why I came here, and you know how it’s been for me sometimes, and I never really shared anything with you. Before we go anywhere, I have to make sure you’re okay with what went on before, how it was for … for Karen and me; the more you know, the better you’ll know me, and when you know me better, perhaps we can take it from there. Are you good with that?”
Luna nodded, curious to know more about the girl Joey had loved so much and lost so tragically. To date he hadn’t opened up about her at all, and she hadn’t pried, figuring that when he was ready, he’d tell her. Now it looked like that time was finally here.
Joey began by telling her about how he’d met Karen, that first day in 8th Grade, and how he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her; how they’d become friends, then more, and before he knew it, she was his girl. He spoke about how they’d been the classic High-School pair, he the star quarterback, she the head cheerleader, how they’d gone to college together in Monte Vista, Karen studying Computer Science and he studying for an MBA, and how they’d applied for jobs at the same insurance company in Roseville. When Karen’s father had died, her mother had moved back to San Diego with her younger sister, but Karen had gotten a small apartment in Springfield so she and Joey could stay together.
Joey glossed-over his history with Robbie; it didn’t seem relevant, but Luna caught the omission, especially as he’d let slip in previous conversations about his ‘kid brother’, but she chose to say nothing as Joey talked about he and Karen, their life together, their son, their home in the Bay Area… and the accident.
As he talked, Luna noticed that he now increasingly referred to Karen in the past tense; before, he’d always spoken about her in the present tense, as if she were still around; now at last he seemed to be acknowledging, if unconsciously, that she was really gone.
He told her how he’d made the decision to come home and try and put some of his life back together, and what had prompted his return. Luna smiled as he changed tack now, talking now about his childhood, and Robbie, how he and Robbie had been inseparable from early days, and how he and Karen had moved to the West Coast at Robbie’s instigation, how he had become Vice-President of the company Robbie was now a partner in.