Asher
I shut my eyes, leaning against the door and inhaling deeply. My breathing was deep and rigorous. My heart was hammering against my chest and I needed a few moments to calm down. I still couldn’t believe what had transpired between me and Kayla. It shouldn’t have happened and it was a costly mistake I had committed. I had allowed my emotions to get the better part of me and clouded my judgment.
What have I done to Emily? I felt so guilty, knowing that she might be so sad wherever she was, seeing that I was ready to replace her with someone else.
Replace her?? No fucking way will I do that.
Damn it!! What was I thinking?
A restless uneasy feeling gnawed at me, like an itch that refused to go away. I sighed, burying my head in my palm. A new wave of immense pain crushed my insides, forcing me to release a groan. They say old wounds take time to heal and leave faint scars behind but mine was still fresh as if it had been yesterday.
I cursed myself for losing control and making such a mistake. Kissing Kayla was the last thing on my mind but seeing her laying on the bed looking so innocent and beautiful stirred a thousand emotions within me. She was ethereal and her blue eyes could drown the entire world in them. Being near her was like medicine to my soul.
Something about her had drawn me in and completely trapped me and her presence seemed to make the pain in my soul bearable.
I felt hot, battling with emotions I had struggled to keep buried. Emotions I never thought I would feel. I could still feel the sweet lingering effect of her body on mine. I could still taste the delicious and enticing flavor of her mouth on my tongue. I couldn’t deny it, even though I wished I could.
Kayla Wright was a bloody seductress, a stubborn and beautiful one at that. I groaned in frustration, I shouldn’t be feeling any of these things. I didn’t like the fact that I got turned on so much around her and she had such an effect on me.
I knew I shouldn’t have lost control like that. Just the thought of what could have happened if I didn’t snap back to my senses left my heart pounding in both excitement and fear. I could have marked her, I was only a second away from doing that. A reminder that I almost bonded with her, without thinking of Emily. Even though the thought of marking her was thrilling, I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t hurt Emily like that.
Emily was the only woman for me, the only woman I would ever allow myself to have. The only woman that mattered to me and she didn’t deserve any of this.
I cursed myself again, tugging at my messy hair. I needed to get out of here, Kayla’s sweet scent was all around me, and it kept intensifying my need to claim her. And without meaning to, my brain began showing me the images of Kayla.
Her in my bed, writhing under me as I touched her, her moans
filling the chamber as I kissed her, her soft moans were pleasing to the ear, the way she had circled her legs tightly around my waist, the way her innocent magnetic blue eyes were boring straight at me, imprinting my soul. The feeling of pleasure exploded within me. I wanted to have my hands on her body again, but my logical reasoning was kicking against it. My stomach stirred with a fluttering feeling, and suddenly, somewhere between my legs demanded attention, Kayla’s attention.
Damn, that girl sure knew how to awaken my inner beast.
With a few hasty steps, I rushed into my study, shaking my head to get rid of the memories of holding her close, kissing her, and inhaling her apparent arousal. I went to the bar and poured myself a drink.
What was it about Kayla Wright that made it so easy for me to forget the pain and misery rooted in my soul and want to move forward? Do I deserve a chance to feel loved again? I didn’t know the answer to all these questions. What I did know was that I couldn’t let these emotions get to me any more than they already did. I needed to forget about her, forget about the way she made me feel. I needed to stay away from her even if it meant being extremely ruthless. These feelings were dangerous and I knew exactly what was at stake if I thought with my heart, rather than my head. There would be consequences.
I stared at the drink in my hand and gulped it but it did nothing to quench my thirst. So, I took a bottle of vodka and had it directly. It was bitter and acidic just like the way I felt right now. I couldn’t remember the last time, I felt so confused and conflicted. My emotions were all over the place and I could barely think straight. I was torn. As I paced around for the first time in the longest time.
This was the very reason I never wanted to marry her when I laid my eyes on her back in the council. I felt the connection between us, it was like magic. Like her fate was already tied to mine.
I knew deep down in my heart that she would be a ticking bomb but I didn’t heed my gut feeling and went ahead to marry her, now she was driving me insane. I swirled the liquor in the bottle, the content sloshing a bit.
I had made a promise to myself after losing Emily that I would never fall in love with another woman again or show any form of weakness.
Now Kayla was tempting me to damn all consequences and break the promise. I shook my head trying to get her images out of my head. It hadn’t been an entire day staying alone with her, and I was already losing my mind.