He is rooted to the spot. He looks at me with an emotion I can’t quite put into words.
Logan is strange, and I can’t seem to fit him into any single category.
Thoughts about the conversation I overheard flood back, and it occurs to me that it’s high time I address the elephant in the room.
Before I can speak, his voice booms in anger, staring down at me. “What the hell did you say to Samantha?”
“Say to Samantha?” I ask again, just to make sure I haven’t heard him wrong.
“Why the hell are you asking me this question? What exactly are you expecting me to do to her?”
He moves closer, towering over me, and I feel myself cowering in fear.
“Don’t play dumb with me, woman,” he growls. “She came crying, telling me about the shit you said to her.”
“What I said to her is none of your concern, but if you must know, I told her exactly what she needed to hear.”
His eyes narrow. “You had no right to speak to her like that,” he snaps, his voice cold.
“And she had no right to barge into my room, throwing insults and acting like she owns the place. I won’t let anyone disrespect me, Logan-not even her.”
Logan clenches his fists, his jaw tightening as he struggles to keep his composure. “You don’t understand-”
“No, Logan, you don’t understand, I’m tired of being treated like I don’t matter, like I’m just some obstacle in your twisted little world. I’ve put up with a lot, but this-”
I gesture around the room, “-this is where I draw the line, and I’m sure she told you lies because you two are perfect for each other.”
He steps back, silent after my outburst.
“Can you please just go? Right now, just staring at you makes me want to puke. You disgust me with every fiber of my being. I thought I knew you, but it’s obvious now that I don’t know a damn thing about you. Scheming and manipulating people for your selfish, inhuman gain-how did I ever end up with you? I regret ever getting into any agreement with you.”
“Shut it, woman! You will say no more demeaning words to me!”
His fury is palpable, and I can almost see the steam blowing out of his ears.
“I’ll say what I need to say, Logan. You don’t get to silence me just because you’re angry.”
His eyes narrow, and I can see the tension in his clenched fists. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he spits out, trying to maintain control.
“Oh, I think I do, you think you can intimidate me, but I’m done being afraid of you. Whatever lies Samantha fed you, whatever games you two are playing-I want no part of it.”
He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but I can see the struggle in his eyes.
“What’s the worst you can do?” I taunt him.
“And to think I went ahead and signed that damn contract without investigating the sick bastard I was getting into an agreement with. How gullible can I be? I believed you were ready to help me get revenge on Jake, but all you did was use me for your selfish gain.”
I see a flicker of fear in his eyes, but he quickly masks it. “What the hell are you saying?” he asks.
“You know exactly what I’m saying, and I hate that I got entangled in this mess with you. I hate your guts!” I shout, hitting him hard on the chest.
He grabs my hand as I try to hit him again, his grip firm. his chest is solid, and pain shoots through my hand as I struggle against him.
His grip tightens, and for a moment, we just stare at each other.
I can see the conflict in his eyes-anger, frustration, and something else, something that looks like regret.
“Leave me the hell alone!” I seethe, forcing my hand out of his grip.
“How desperate can you get, Logan? How manipulative can you be? I hate your guts right now.”
Exhausted, I sit down on the bed, feeling a wave of nausea rise. There’s no way I can let him see me like this.
I realize I haven’t eaten lunch, and the exhaustion is wearing me down. I walk to the bathroom.
I empty the bile into the toilet, rinse my mouth with water, and take a moment to steady my breath.
“Nadine,” he calls out, knocking on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”
I hate that he’s asking if I’m okay when I’m far from it, given the emotional rollercoaster he’s put me through.
When I step out, he looks at me with concern, wanting to move closer. But with a stern look, I raise my hand, stopping him from coming any closer.
“Are you sick or something?” he asks
I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself before answering.
“Why do you care, Logan? Seriously, why now?” My voice is cold, and I can see that my words hit him. “You’ve put me through so much, and now you suddenly want to act concerned?”
“Which part of ‘leave me the hell alone’ don’t you understand? Laisse-moi tranquille!” I blurt out in French, my frustration boiling over.
The nerve of him to storm into my room and demand answers about what I did to Samantha is the height of hypocrisy when he’s done far worse.
“What have I done?” he finally asks, his voice low, as if he genuinely doesn’t know.
“Oh, you don’t know what you’ve done? Let me guess-you can’t see it because it doesn’t affect you. You enjoy ruining people’s lives, don’t you?”
My words are sharp, each one laced with the bitterness that has been building up.
He just stands there, silent, as if my accusations are finally starting to sink in. But I’m beyond caring whether he understands or not. I’ve reached my breaking point.
“Nadine, I won’t stand for you running your mouth at me like this. Tell me what the hell it is and stop going in circles.”
“You want to know what you did? Let me make it clearer for you. You can’t recall what you’ve done when it brings you so much satisfaction.”
“I know what you did, you son of a bitch. The fact that you did it without considering my feelings is way out of line. I hate you. I fucking hate you,” I say again, hitting him hard on the chest.
This man standing right here has broken me without even realizing it. I feel trapped, but before I am completely stuck, I need to find a way to get away.
He grabs my hand and pulls me closer, holding me in his embrace. I rest my head against his chest, inhaling his familiar scent as I start to shake with sobs.
He seems taken aback by my reaction for a moment, but soon his hand moves in a soothing circle on my back.
“Talk to me, Nadine. Stop keeping me in the dark,” he says, with a gentle voice.
I am stunned as I pull away from his embrace. Does this mean he doesn’t remember the harm he has done, or is he just a lying piece of scum?
I look at him, struggling to gauge his emotions. “You don’t remember?” I ask, with a trembling voice.
“Or are you just playing dumb?”
He meets my gaze. “Nadine, I’m not playing games. I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I regret the day I ever set my eyes on you. I hate you for knowing about Jake’s infidelity and using it to manipulate me for your gain.” I say and sit on my bed, feeling worn out and needing to stay strong for my child.
He steps back, shocked that I have found out the truth.
“There’s no point in hiding it anymore. I’ve seen and heard it all from the horse’s mouth.” I run my fingers through my hair, which is slowly coming loose from its bun.
But his next reaction makes my heart sink further.