– Harley –
I knock lightly on the big wooden doors, I hear Jax’s voice “Come in kitten”, I open the doors and skip towards him before sitting down on his lap. “Your dad and brother want to see you, they wanted to talk to you about something” What do they need to talk to me about? Important? What’s so important about today? I look over to the date on the computer and realise it’s my birthday, fuck.
I fucking hate my birthday, I’ve never liked it we never really celebrated it, mum was always drunk before dad left Matthew told me that he would spoil me like a princess and that he would take me out on little birthday adventures, I never got cards or presents from my mother, after dad left I basically forgot I had a birthday, Matt never had the money to buy presents but he did write me homemade cards, I kept every single one he wrote.
I open my mouth to ask him if he knows but I’m stopped in my tracks by the doors bursting open, Gunner comes bounding in like an energiser bunny maybe he’s high. He makes his way to the front of the desk, almost bouncing up and down in his spot, I’m too nervous to move or speak in case he explodes, but he might know why my dad and brother want to speak to me.
“Why are you so excited?” I raise my eyebrow and give him a questioning look “You and I are spending the day together, Shelby’s gone for the week and I’m bored” he pouts his bottom lip at me, idiot I know Shelby’s still here I saw her before I came into the office, she’s working at the strip club today. “What are you hiding?” I ask him as I watch him, his face pales it looks like he’s going to pass out, huh so you are hiding something.
Maybe he knows? But if he knows then Jax knows. But how would they know I never told them when it was, and then it hits me, my dad and brother must have said something. I swear to fucking god if there’s a party I’m going to blow the building up, my birthday just brings me haunting memories of my asshole of a stepfather abusing me, i was always hurt more on my birthday, i start to trace the scars he left on my skin as bile begins to flood my throat.
“What are you talking about, I’m, not hiding anything” he replies sheepishly, “I wonder how long you would last in the basement with me before you told me” I smirk at him as I run my fingers through Jax’s hair. “Come on Harlz, it’s BFF day” Gunner exclaims, I roll my eyes at him what the fuck is a BFF? I turn my attention to Jax and smile as the memories of yesterday begin to swarm my mind.
“No can do, I was promised breakfast this morning” I turn my attention back to Gunner who now has the colour back in his face, “Hang out with Gunner and we can go to lunch instead, that way I can finish off shit in here” I turn back to Jax and give him a look, his eyes pleading with me, what’s so fucking important about today? I roll my eyes and get off his lap “Fine”.
I throw my arms up in the air dramatically and start to walk away, Jax pulls me back by my wrist smashing his lips onto mine, he breaks the kiss and cups my face staring into my eyes “Be good kitten” his voice low and sexy making me squeeze my legs together to stop the waterfall in between my legs becoming any worse.
I blow a raspberry with my lips before smirking at him “When am I ever good handsome?” I bite my lip before standing up to walk away, I turn and begin to walk when suddenly there is a loud slapping sound and a sting on my ass cheek, I can’t help but giggle at him. I make my way over to Gunner as he throws his arm over my shoulder, “We are going to have so much fun Harlz”, let BFF day commence.
“Soooooo, what exactly is a BFF day?” I ask him as we walk towards a metal door I’ve never seen before, he stops dead in his tracks turns around to me with a horrid expression on his face, “Did you really just ask me that?” I roll my eyes and keep walking until I’m standing infront of the door, I look to Gunner who has a stupid smile on his face.
He opens the door and we walk in, the rooms dark but still has enough light in it to see that there not much in here, a few tables, some bean bags, and fairy lights, what the fucks going on? I walk in first Gunner one step behind me, I make my way to the middle of the room and find some incense burning and candles, this ain’t it sis.
I turn to walk out of the room but Gunner’s standing infront of the door with his dumbass smile on his face, he locks the door and swallows the key before smiling at me again, “What the fuck is wrong with you Gunner, you swallowed the fucking key?! How are we going to get out?! I can’t kick down a metal fucking door you idiot I’m not the fucking hulk!”.
“Oh god Harlz, just sit down and shut up, I’m not trying anything funny. This is our BFF day!” He replies excitedly, I look around the dimly lit room again and groan before looking back towards Gunner, “Fine! What are we doing then?” He pulls my wrist and drags me towards the bean bags, he pushes me down in one and then sits across from me.
“Gunner can you just tell me what’s going on?” He raises his finger expecting me to stop talking, “Fucking tell me now before I rip open your stomach and dig through your body to find the fucking key” he rolls his eyes at me “Harlz, I love you and all but just shut the fuck up and just listen” I go to speak but close my mouth again, I don’t have the energy to be arguing with him.
He twists his body to the side to pick something up from beside him, my eyes watch his every move in case he tries anything stupid, once he faces me again I look down to what hes holding in his hands and see a bong, a bong? This is what he’s brought me into this dumb room for? A bong? “Are you fucking kidding me you dickhead, we could have done this shit anywhere, not in some fucking weird-ass 70’s inspired room”.
“Oh My God will you just let me finishhhh” he squeals dragging out the word finish, yeah Shelby defiantly wears the pants in their relationship. “This is my best friend, his names Billy” I look at him dumbfounded, he holds the bong out towards me, “Would you like to hold Billy?” He asks with a proud smile on his face, he cannot be serious right now.
“Sure” I mumble before taking it into my hands, “So, this is it?” I ask him while inspecting the bong in my hands, “Nope” he says popping the p, before digging his hands into the pocket inside his cuts before his face lights up, “Uh-huh!” He yells before pulling out a bag of weed, “It-it’s beautiful” I whisper, “I know I know, I really am beautiful huh? It took you long enough to realise”.
“No, you idiot I’m talking about the bag of weed” I place the bong on the floor before turning my attention back to Gunner, “So that’s all we are doing?” I ask him and he laughs at me before shaking his head “No no dear Harlz, we are going to hotbox the room and then we are going to play pranks on everyone in the club and eat all their food” I scream and throw my hands up in the air “Best BFF day ever!”.
I don’t know how long we have been sitting on the bean bags hotboxing the room, but my vision is blurred due to the amount of smoke in the room, I can barely see Gunner infront of me. “Hey,” he says pulling me out of my mind, “Yeah” I reply squinting my eyes trying to focus on him, “Do-do you think they call sand, sand because its in between the sea and the land?” I lean back in the seat and think about it.
“Well, it’s gotta be huh? Son of a bitch how have I never noticed it?!” Gunner starts laughing at my reaction, “Nah nah nah, what about this one if you’re born deaf, what language do you think in?” He gets up off of his bean bag and sits infront of me on the floor, “Why would you say that to me? NOW IM NEVER GOING TO NOW THE ANSWER!” I burst out laughing as tears all down my eyes, I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.
“I need food, oh what time is it! Jax owes me food!” Gunner looks at his phone “it’s 1” I stand up and smooth my clothes out, “Perfect, do you want to come for lunch?” He nods his head eagerly as we make our way to the metal door, I go to open it but the doorknob doesn’t budge and then I remember that Gunner swallowed the fucking key.
“Don’t” is all he can say before I run after him, we run around the room as I chase him, I jump over the bean bag and tackle him to the ground, pinning him down. “Please don’t rip my stomach out” he begs me, “I’m not doing that stupid, but I’m getting that damn key” before he can ask anything I roll him over and pin his arms down, “This is gonna suck for you, not so much for me” I say to him before sticking my fingers down his throat.
He tried to fight me but eventually I won, he throws up the key and his breakfast, I wipe my hands on him before cleaning the key on him too, I get up and run to the door unlocking it and bolting out of it, the fresh air hits me in the face and my vision becomes clear, I run to the kitchen and quickly wash my hands before making my way towards Jax’s office.
I get to the big wooden doors and got to knock when I stop, the faint sound of clicking high heels come from his office, I hold my breath and press my ear to the door, I hear a females voice and it takes all of me not to go in there and rip her throat out, but maybe I’m overreacting, maybe this is one of his friends.
“What do you want Stella?” The sound of her heels continue to hit the floor until they fall silent, “I’d stop walking if you want to keep all of your fingers” I smile to myself remembering the day I cut the fat pricks fingers off at the club, such fun. “Is that a threat baby?” I gag at the sound of her nasal voice, “It’s a promise” I hear Jax growl.
The clicks of her heels start again but this time slowly, I hear Jax sigh before she speaks again “Why are you even with her? She’s a psychopath! You saw what she did to Trina!” She screeches, I smile again when I remember beating her dumbass out the front of the club infront of everyone.
“Don’t you ever fucking call her that again, if I see you around me or her ever again I’ll let my old lady slit your throat as I watch in amusement” Jax once again growls at her, so fucking sexy, wait did he just call me his old lady?! Suddenly the beast screams.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I hear Jax yell out, “She’s a fucking psychopath, how do you not see it?! She’s worthless, pathetic. I’m not surprised her family didn’t want her, she’s a waste of fucking oxygen!” Oh hell no, this bitch has fucking done it now, I don’t give a fuck if this is his friend imma break her stupid ass neck.
I swing the door open and what I see infuriates me more than anything has ever before, there the banshee stands, throwing her self at my man? Nah I don’t think so princess, I storm over to behind her and grab a handful of her blonde dead hair, I drag her body off of Jax’s and pull her to the floor next to me like the dog she is.
“What are you doing? Don’t let her fucking touch me, she’s a fucking psy-” Jax reaches for his gun but I slam the banshees head into the side of his desk knocking her out instantly, I let go of the first of hair in my hands let her limp body fall to the floor beside me
Gunner bursts through the doors out of breath and both of our heads snap to him, he tries to stifle a laugh when he sees the body on the floor, I turn my focus back to Jax as his eyes slowly made there way back to mine, “Gunner get a prospect to come up here and get Stella to be dropped off out of town” I don’t think so “NO” I yell out causing both of them to look at me in shock, “Take her to the basement, she’s mine”.
“Brother?” Gunner asks Jax and he nods his head, smart man to not argue with me. Gunner walked over and dragged Stella’s body out of the room shutting the door behind him Jax and I still staring at each other, both waiting to see who gives in first “It wasn’t wh-” I hold my hand up for him to stop, part of me wants him to so I have a reason to stab him even if he did nothing wrong but the other half actually wanted him to shut up so I could speak, now I know how Gunner feels.
“I know I heard everything, you don’t need to explain anything” Jax step towards me slowly before pulling me into him, we hold each other for a few seconds before I pull away and give him a smile, but maybe just maybe she’s right, I’m a monster, a murderer, a psychopath… I enjoy watching people suffer, what’s worse is that I love doing the suffering, to watch their faces slowly fade to nothing, to watch them beg for their pathetic lives, to watch their blood drain out of them slowly, to watch the light slowly fade from their eyes.
A part of me hates myself every day for the person I have become, the way I am, the way I think, the way I speak everything. I’m a failure, a waste of oxygen I could have done so much with my life but I wasted it, I could have had a chance at a normal life. On the outside, I may look like I’ve got my shit together, but in my head, there’s a constant war the old Harley is still in there, pushed right back in the corner of my mind, she doesn’t speak often but when she does it reminds me of just how weak i really am how damaged and depressed I am, because in the end I’m broken. The voices pile on top of each other it used to bother me but now it doesn’t, I’m just numb to everything now, well almost everything…
As if he can read my mind Jax pulls me out of my trainwreck of thoughts, “Don’t listen to anything she said kitten you’re not any of those things she said. You’re beautiful, and strong and caring to those who deserve your love, you have been hurt and broken in the past but kitten I am here to put you back together” I just nod my head unable to form any words my emotions all over the place, I take a few deep breaths before speaking “I’m going to go out for a bit, I need to clear my head. Still on for a late lunch?” I put a fake smile on my face to hide any other emotion, Jax nods his head “Of course kitten, come get me when you’re ready” I kiss him softly before walking out of the office.
I walk into the main room as my eyes scan for someone, anyone at this point, I look around no Dad, no Matthew, no Shelby, no Gunner, no Wood. Great. I make my way outside the front and sit in the sun while I light up my cigarette, it’s not long until Gunner finds me and sits down next to me.
“You know he-” Gunner begins but I stop him “Don’t, I already know what you’re going to say, I know he wouldn’t” he nods his head before looking out into the distance, “It’s still BFF day, is there anything you want to do?” He questions me, I humm and think about it for a second “Yeah I’ve got an idea lets go” I jump up and start making my way to exit the main gate.
“Arnt you going to ride?” Gunner calls out from behind me “Nope” I start walking again, I can hear his footsteps approaching me quickly before I notice he’s at my side walking with me, “Well how about I ride and you sit on the back?” I shake my head still walking, “I don’t think so, I’m not riding bitch to you” I smile turning my face to look at him as we keep walking.
“Besides we can’t carry the thing I want if you’re riding the bike” we make our way out of the compound and start walking towards the centre of town, “Well what are you going to get then?” he looks at me confused, I laugh and mess up his hair as we stop infront of a building.
“A dog”.