*Also there’s a self-harm warning for this chapter, remember you are not alone, you are not weak for asking for help, you are fucking strong. My love to you all*
– Harley –
Seconds before impact I jump off my bike and land on the top of the truck running along the roof before jumping off, I turn around and see the bikes turning around and heading back towards the truck. I go to run but turn around once more, my baseball bat I frown at the sight of it smashed in half, son of a fucking bitch that was my favourite bat. I don’t have time for this I turn around I start running into the desert I ain’t got no time for angry bikers, not today son.
By the time I get to downtown Las Vegas, I look like someone from the walking dead, dirt stuck to my skin mixing in with my sweat, my hair knotted and messy, mascara running down my face and my lipstick smudged, damn I look like a hot mess.
I make my way down the streets looking for somewhere to stay while I figure out my next plan, I walk for a few more minutes before i find a run-down motel, kinda looks like the Bates Motel. I shrug and make my way into reception to book a room, the reception room smells like stale cigarette smoke and vodka, I gag when the smell hits my nostrils. Thick layers of dust cover most of the countertops.
Once I get my key I make my way to my room, walking in it looks like a dive. A small mattress on a small metal frame, a small tv on a nightstand, stains in the carpets and curtains. I walk into the bathroom and see piss and shit stains around the room, nope nope fucking noppeeee. I run outside and throw the key into the reception without stopping, oh hell no, I can live with unclean but not that shit hell to the fucking no.
I walk down the streets until I find somewhere else, looks nice enough outside. I walk into the reception much cleaner than the last one, once I book my room I head on up to take a look, again a small bed but it looks cleaner and more comfortable than the last one, no stains on the floors or curtains. I take a deep breath and look in the bathroom, nice and clean and it has a bath in it, score.
I sit down on the bed and look at myself, I really am a fucking mess. It then hits me that I also don’t have any clothes I left them with the bike the only thing I took with me was Jax’s shirt before I jumped off the bike. Fuck, guess I have to go shopping.
Once I get back I’ve got a few new clothes, I head back to the room and look at what I’ve brought, just some simple shorts and shirts, undies some bras and socks and toiletries, just the essentials. But I did buy one thing I probably didn’t need, some thigh-high boots, I fucking loved them. As soon as I saw them I knew I had to have them.
I walk into the bathroom and run a bath filling it with body wash to make bubbles, I get in and close my eyes letting my body relax with the hot water, I wash my hair and quickly shave. Later I get out and make my way back to the bed, I lay down and stare at the roof. What am I going to do from now? Maybe I can find another job here for a while. But do I want to stay here or do I keep going? And if I keep going how long do I stay here in case Jax actually comes to find me?
A thousand voices scream through my mind all at once, I hold onto the sides of my head pulling my hair in the process “STOP” I scream, the voices only getting louder, ‘God youre pathetic Harley, he’s not coming for you, why would he?’ ‘You’re damaged goods Harley, no one want’s something that’s that damaged’, ‘How could anyone want a monster like you’ ‘God you’re pathetic Harley’ they repeat on a constant loop. “FUCKING STOP” I scream out again as hot tears roll down my eyes, I start punching my head trying to quiet them to fill there needs for now but it doesn’t work, if I have to hurt in order to keep them quiet I’ll just have to hurt myself until I find someone worthy of killing.
I get my pocket knife out of my dirty clothes and drag the blade across my thighs, over and over and over again until the warm crimson liquid begins to puddle at the bottom of my feet, I make my way to the bathroom to clean up my damage, the voice’s in my mind now silent, at peace, finally.
I go and sit on the bed once more, I look over to the clock on the wall, 9:30 pm. Fuck it I’m going out I need a drink. I make my way into the bathroom and throw some water over my face before drying it and adding some mascara and lipstick, I’ve never been one for make up the bare minimum is enough for me. I throw my hair into a messy bun and walk back into the bedroom.
I throw on some underwear tucking my pocket knife into the waistband and Jax’s oversized shirt on, fuck it I don’t need a bra. I grab the thigh-high boots I brought today and put them on before leaving the room and making my way to the main stip.
I don’t know what time it was when I got to a club but the place was packed, I didn’t need to wait in line long at all, one of the security guards let me in infront of everyone, weird but I don’t care. I just want tequila, go hard or go home. I make my way to the bar inside and order 6 shots, the bartender raises his eyebrow but pours them anyways, I shoot them all back and order another 6.
“I don’t think you should be drinking that much little missy” I shoot him a death glare, “You’re not my fucking carer so how about you do your fucking job and get me what I asked for” He smirked and poured another 6, I shoot them down and throw some notes on the bar before walking off, I make my way into the middle of the dance floor and start moving.
My hips swaying to the rhythm of the music playing, I close my eyes and let my body take over, my hands roam my own body as I get lost in the music. I feel someone walking up to me, I slide my hand up my leg to get my pocket knife ready, they put their hands on my waist and my eyes remain closed, I turn around slashing the knife, hitting him across the arm.
“What the fucks your problem you bitch” he growls at me, pathetic. “Don’t fucking touch unless you ask permission, not every girl here wants your pint-sized dick” i spit at him before I continue to dance as he walks away, the voices start to come back to me I open my eyes and make my way to the bar.
“Back for more little miss?” The bartender asks, “Give me the bottle” I point at a bottle of whiskey on the top shelf, he looks confused “the bottle of whiskey, give it to me” he smiles and shakes his head, “No can do princess” I roll my eyes grabbing $300 out of the top of my boot throwing it down on the bar, “Now give me the fucking bottle or I’ll come over there and take it” He shakes his head and looks over to someone who im guessing is his boss giving him a questioning look, he just nods his head before the bartender gives me the bottle.
I open the new bottle and start chugging it, once my body feels warm enough and the voices become to slow down. I sit it down next to some biker looking dude before grabbing a cigarette and lighting it, the guy looks at me before pulling out his phone and messaging someone, hope its his biker friends, I feel like torturing
He looks back over to me, “You good mate?” I ask inhaling my cigarette, “Yeah you just look familiar” He smirks at me, “Doubt it, and wipe that stupid smirk off your face before I cut it off” I take one final drag of my cigarette before dropping it into his glass of alcohol.
I make my way back to the dance floor stumbling a little as I walk, I giggle to myself as I get back out there. More men come up to me all receiving the same fate as the first idiot, how hard is it to keep your fucking hands to yourself?
I don’t know how long I’ve been dancing for, but I’m sweating my ass off. My eyes remain closed as I hear the shuffle of biker boots behind me, my heart stops for a second, no it can’t be him, it’s probably one of the guys I probably pissed off today. The footsteps get closer and closer, I clutch onto my pocket knife waiting for one finger to touch me, my adrenaline pumping a twisted smile forms on my lips.
Suddenly I’m pulled into someone’s body, my back firmly pressed against their front. My arms held to my side so I’m unable to fight back but I try anyway, my body stiffens when a familiar smell finds my nose, it can’t be… Can it?
A rough but all so sexy voice breaks me from my inner thoughts. “Found you kitten” He whispers, my body erupts in goosebumps even though I’m sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch.
He loosens his grip on me and turns me around to face him, and there he is in all his fucking glory, Jax. I pout and cross my arms over my chest, “Are you kidding me it’s been less than 24 hours” he laughs and pulls me into him before cupping my face tightly, “If you wanted to hide you shouldn’t have driven your bike into an MC’s truck” I groan and look around him to see Matthew and my father standing behind him, “Why are they here?” I question Jax, my father walks towards me stopping infront of me. “I failed the first time I tried to find you, I wasn’t about to let it happen again” he pulls me into a tight hug, I stand there frozen for a few seconds before slightly hugging him back, I don’t know if it was the alcohol or myself doing the actions but when I did a smile formed on his face.
Jax pulls me into his side “Let’s go kitten, I have some people that want to meet you” we make our way outside, I go to walk over to a cab before I’m pulled back, “And where do you think you’re going?” His hands roaming over my hips, “Back to my motel now move your sexy ass” I shoo him out of the way, “Nuh-uh kitten, get on we will go pick your shit up but you’re coming with me, I’m not going to lose you again” I roll my eyes “Fine” I say getting onto the back of his bike, his shirt slides up my thighs a little but I’m able to pull it down before he sees the cuts, I give him the address for the motel. Matthew and my father take off one way while we go the opposite way, he gets on infront of me, I slide my arms around him as he takes off he puts one of his hands over mine giving it a tight squeeze.
We get to the motel and grab the minimal shit I brought, “You going to refund me for the room?” I ask raising an eyebrow, “Well if you had of just stayed where you were supposed to you wouldn’t have wasted all that money on a motel room hmm?” I scrunch my eyebrows together before continuing to pack my shit up “Asshole” I mumble under my breath but he must have heard me because he laughed after I said it.
I lift my arms up to redo my hair and before I can pull my shirt down my backs pushed up against a wall and my hands are pinned above me, I look at Jax’s face who looks like he’s about to blow up, I swallow hard and look down to my thighs, the recent cuts that are now on display, I look back up at him who is still staring at me, I try to wriggle out of his grip but his huge hands hold on tightly to my wrists.
A deep growl comes from his chest, “Why?” He says softer than I was expecting, I try to swallow the lump in my throat as I turn my eyes to the floor, “Don’t” I whisper he lets go of my wrist and I close my eyes holding back the tears trying to escape, ‘God stop being so weak Harley’. The voices start, suddenly I’m picked up and pulled tightly into Jax’s body, my legs instantly wrap around him as he just holds me tightly.
He mumbles into my neck “We are going to talk about this later, for now, you have some very impatient people waiting for your arrival” he places me on the ground before kissing my forehead, he walks over to the bed and grabs the small bag of clothes I have before taking my hand in his, “Let’s go kitten”.
The ride was silent, we drove a little out of the centre of Las Vegas and pull up at a clubhouse, I get off the bike and look around, at least a hundred Harley Davidsons line the front fo the place, a few cars and trucks too. I look over to at some of the cuts people are wearing its the same MC’s that I rode my bike into, great. Jax pulls me into his side and throws his arm over my shoulder, I slide my hand into his free-hanging one, he leans down and firmly kisses my temple. We make our way to the doors as he kicks them open, has always loved an entrance that one. Everyone in the room goes silent as we walk a few more steps in, all eyes turn to us. A deep voice booms over the room causing me to follow the noise.
An older man stands on top of one of the tables, I instantly recognise him as the president, the exact same one I passed just seconds before fucking up their truck and run, fuck me this is going to be a blood bath. “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the woman that has managed to whip our ‘Killer’ here into place, the one the only” he pauses and looks into my eyes and smirks before holding his drink in the air.
“The infamous Harley Rose Blackwell”.