– Harley –
I can’t believe I just told Jax all of that, I haven’t told anyone the whole thing, I don’t know why but i feel some type of comfort and safety whenever I’m with him, no one’s ever given me this feeling. betty only knows little parts I could never bring myself to tell her what happened fully, I was too scared to see how she would react or treat me afterwards.
I don’t want my past to change someone’s thoughts on me because that little girl isn’t me anymore, i won’t be walked over I won’t be abused I won’t be hurt, I refuse to be hurt. All I can do is pray Jax keeps his promise and doesn’t tell anyone, I don’t think I could take it if anyone else knew what happened especially, my brother.
I cant look Jax in the eye after telling him, I’m so ashamed of myself embarrassed even, every time I think about it I feel disgusting like I want to wash my body with bleach to get the feeling off. “Look at me Harley” I want to look at him but I can’t bring myself too, I don’t want him to pity me, I don’t want him to see how much it still affects me.
“Please, look at me kitten” He almost begs, my stomach turning into knots as I look into his deep blue eyes, I try and give a weak smile to hide the painful memories that are racing through my mind, my body’s numb at the memories, he sighs when our eyes meet and I want to run away and hide, i can’t let people see me weak, I’m not weak not anymore.
“You are the strongest person I know, I don’t think anyone else would have lived through the shit you have, you may think that you’re an awful person but you’re not, you did what you had to do to save yourself, and then you went and saved god knows how many other girls from the same path that you had walked, you don’t realise how many girls you protected by killing the dogs. You Harley are a fucking warrior, a goddess, a force to be reckoned with. And I’m so fucking proud of you, and I know your brother would feel the same”.
He gently kisses me and pulls away pushing a piece of loose hair behind my ear, the little things with him make me turn into putty in his hands, I can feel my cheeks turn bright red like a little girl with her childhood crush, I probably look like the biggest idiot right now. “Fucking perfect” He whispers and I blush even harder.
I don’t think he meant to say it out loud by the look of his face, he usually confident grin turning into a shy smile. he leans his forehead against mine and snakes a hand around the back on my neck holding onto it tightly “You are so fucking strong and I am so fucking proud of you” A painful lump grows in the back of my throat as I try to hold back my tears, no ones ever told me that they’re proud of me.
My phone vibrates and I look at it to find a text from Shelby.
Little Red: girl get your ass over here so we can unpack your shit before work! x
Me: Shit! I’ll be there in 45 x
Little Red: I’ll be waiting for your sexy ass x
I sigh putting my phone away and look back up at Jax, “Enough of this sappy shit I need to get back to the motel so I can move my shit before work” He gives me a questioning look, “Shelby asked me to move in with her, cheaper to rent if there’s two of us and beats living out of a motel room”, I get up dusting myself off before Jax gets up after me, “Oh and I’m going to need a ride since you wouldn’t let me ride here”.
He smiles and throws his arm over my shoulders “My pleasure kitten” He plants a kiss on my temple before we make our way back down the steps into the clubhouse, I must say as much sexual tension between us as there is he has never pushed me for anything more, letting me choose the pace, I might just have to pick up the pace for some fun.
As we walk through the main room all of the men are either drinking, smoking or happily fucking rotters in corners of the room. Jax pulls me into his side a little more as we make our way outside to his bike, I’ve heard all the things the boys say about females riding on the backs of bikes but I don’t think Jax thinks of it like that, I’m pretty sure once he gets over this game we are playing he will have another girl on the back of his bike by the end of the day.
I sigh and throw my leg over the bike positiing myself behind him looping my arms around his waist relaxing into his back. After he drops me off I make my way to my room and gather the pathetic amount of shit I own before turning my key into the reception, I get on my bike and head to the address Shelby sent me. When I pull up I’m in awe, it’s out of town away from all the shops and traffic, down a secluded road in some thick woods, I couldn’t be happier.
I get off my bike and make my way inside, not bothering to knock, “Bitch I’m home!” I scream from the front door, before hearing fast-approaching footsteps, before I know whats going on I’m tackled to the floor by a very happy Shelby. “I can’t believe it, look how perfect it is, you’re going to love it!” She’s always so happy and cheery. Like a lighthouse guiding me through the dark nights, god I’m so selfish, basically feeding off of her soul.
“Well I can be the judge of that once you get off me so I can at least have a look around” She laughs and gets off me before helping me up, “Come on I’ll give you the grand tour” The place is beautiful, a simple country styled cottage, double story. Bedrooms on the top floor, kitchen, lounge, gym and dining room on the bottom floor, she leads me down the hallway to my bedroom, I open the door and my jaw drops, the rooms perfect! Filled with black, white and gold furniture and artwork, almost my dream room.
A huge bed, a giant window with beautiful views of the forest surrounding us, beautiful hardwood floors too, I make my way to the bathroom and scream when I walk in, a huge bath sits centre of the room, white and black marble tiles, a sleek white vanity and sink as well, I’m in love. “You skipped the best bit!” I turn to face Shelby, “Pretty sure I didn’t, it’s right here” I point at the bath, “No silly come here” She takes my wrist and drags me to the walk-in wardrobe.
“Don’t you love it?!” she squeals “I mean sure if I had more than 10 pieces of clothing,” I say with a laugh, “Don’t worry we can go shopping!” She says excitedly. I’ve never really been shopping, just to get the shit that I needed. I nod my head and smile at her “this place is amazing, thank you”, I look at my phone and look at the time. “Shit! Works in 2 hours, I need a bath” she groans at the thought before replying “Mmm good idea, we can take my car in tonight” I nod before making my way to the bathroom.
I climb into the bath and let the hot water relax my muscles, I’ve always loved baths, I haven’t had one in years… before I ran away. I shake my head to get rid of the thought before sliding myself under the water holding my breath until my lungs start to burn before coming up for air, I wash and quickly shave before getting out.
I wrap a towel around myself before making my way to my bedroom, I look through my clothes and they’re all dirty. I make my way down the hall to Shelby’s room and knock, “Come in!” She yells as I push the door open. “I have no clean clothes can I borrow some of yours?” She smiles before pointing towards the closet “Yeah go through it and grab whatever you want” I walk in and find the most comfortable clothes I can find, some grey sweatpants and a black crop top that’s a little too small but it will do.
I run back down to my room to start my hair and makeup, Shelby comes in and we get ready together, laughing about some of the clients that usually come in. “So are you and Jax together yet?” I choke on my own spit and look at her, “Where the fuck did that come from? What gives you the idea that we are ‘together’?” She laughs at my reaction and shakes her head.
“I’m not blind bitch, I can see the way you look at each other, eye-fucking each other every time youre around each other, I’ve also seen him break someone’s nose for looking at you the wrong way, trust me, Gunner and I both agree that you two need to fuck and get together, apparently he hasn’t touched another female since hes met you, you’re as crazy as each other” My mind goes blank, I’m about to rip into her before i stop myself. “Waiiiit, what do you mean you and Gunner?! Oh my god, you and Gunner? Tell me now!” I throw myself on her and pin her to the ground.
“You best be telling me everything right now before I spit in your mouth” She cringes at the thought of me doing, “You wouldn’t dare” She tests me as i slowly let a long drip of spit leave my lips slowly making its way to her face, “Oh my god stop I’ll tell you, you nasty bitch” I get off of her laughing waiting for her response, “It’s nothing really, we just kinda fool around. I don’t think he takes it any seriously” I roll my eyes when i hear her say ‘its nothing’, bullshit. “What makes you think that?” I raise my eyebrow and frown, “He told me he doesn’t do relationships, he just wants to fool around” she starts playing with her hair breaking eye contact with me.
“Do you just want to fool around?” I question, she takes a deep breath “At first yeah it was just some fun, but now i don’t know, I think i like him like really like him but i know this is just fun to him, i know he won’t hurt me on purpose, he told me that he would protect me if need be and i believe him” I take a deep breath and before shaking my head, I’m going to break his dick off and shove it up his arse.
“Come on, let’s do this shit and afterwards we can binge eat ice cream and cry” she chuckles before getting up, we finish our makeup and hair before making our way out to Shelby’s car, listening to music the way into town singing along like teenagers.
We pull up to work and make our way in, I give Shelby a hug before making my way to the change rooms, “Hey pretty” I turn to see Silver, a girl that’s on my shifts allot, she’s a nice girl a little older than me, silver hair hence the name. “Hey, chicka, usuals in today?” I put my outfit on and high heels. “Yeah seems like a slow night so far, but we all know they come crawling in when you dance” she winks at me and I laugh at her. “No way they come in for your sexy ass” She laughs before Val comes in to tell us that we are on next. We make our way out to the main stages as the more people begin to flock into the club.
After 30 minutes I get down for a break making my way over to the bar walking behind it to sit and talk shit with Shelby for a bit, Val lets me behind her to help if it’s busy. I fuck around in the bar for a bit before i have to go up and dance again, I make my way to the stage as my wrist is gripped and pulled forcing my body into what feels like a brick wall, a familiar smell fills my nose and i look up to see Jax. “In a rush kitten?” He winks at me looking me up and down licking his lips in the process, “I’ve gotta dance handsome, I’ll come to find you afterwards” I wink at him, he leans down and basically eats my face infront of everyone. I pull away and start walking back to the stage as he smacks my ass.
I’ve been dancing for no longer than 15 minutes when my eyes roam over the crowd and spot unfamiliar cuts somethings not right, before I have a chance to do anything the sounds of gunshots ring throughout the club, I’m in shock i can’t move until i feel a pair of arms grab me down from the stage, I try to fight them off not realising who it is, “Calm down kitten” I look over my shoulder to see Jax and relax before my body goes into panic again, I look over to the bar and I cant see Shelby, my anxiety begins to climb as i try to get out of Jaxs arms.
“Let me go Jax” I wriggle in his arms trying to escape his grip, he drags me behind a flipped over table before passing me a gun, “You’re not going anywhere until its safe” most people have run out of the club the only people that are left in here are the people that got mowed down by stray bullets, some dancers and the two MC’s, I take aim and gun down as many as I can before I kick off my high heels and run to the bar jumping over the counter to find Shelby hiding underneath the bar.
A wave of relief washes over me before I look over her checking for any injuries, I notice a large gash on her stomach and my heart drops and anger fills my insides, “How did this happen?” I ask my voice lower than normal “It’s fine Harley come on lets just go home” the sound of gunshots still ringing through the club, “Fucking tell me Shelby i swear to god” her eyes widen and she points to someone behind me, I snap up and stare at him, he’s easily triple my weight if not more, at least 40 years old, grey hair and beard, ugly bastard.
He’s the one who hurt her, that hurt my sister, my Shelby. I use the handle of the gun to hit his nose instantly breaking it, the sound of the loud crunch filling the air that’s now silent, “You’re fucking did this to her?!” I scream as he laughs at me “Just wait until I do more than that to both of you” I shoot his knee cap as he falls tot he floor screaming out in pain, I grab his gun that he dropped and put it in my waistband, I go to turn around but his screams piss me off, even more, I shoot one more time aiming between the cocksuckers eyes, bullseye.
Jax and Gunner come rushing over, I pull Shelby up and sit her on top of the bar inspecting the cut on her stomach, “It’s deep you’re going to need stitches” she looks at me worried and shakes her head, “No i can’t go to the hospital, don’t ask I just can’t, it will be fine trust me” she gives me a weak smile and I growl, “I’ll do it, stay here” I make my way from behind the bar as Jax follows me, he pummels me with questions and i completely ignore him grabbing the first aid kit and making my way back to Shelby, I slam the first aid kit down and shove Gunner out of my way.
“What the fucks got into you Harlz?” I dig my nails into my palms and my knuckles turn white, “You fucking stay away from her Gunner, I’ll fucking slice you!” i turn to face him and stare at him not breaking my eye contact. “What the fuck did i do?!” He screams at me, I turn around and throw my first into the side of his head causing him to stumble backwards a little, “So she’s good enough to fuck but not worth fighting for is that it?! Is she just a toy to get your cock wet?! Fuck me, Jax and I haven’t even fucked yet and he still grabbed me down that stage once shit went south. I can fight he knows that Shelby can’t, you were supposed to protect her and you fucking failed, you fucking failed her, where were you?!” I grab Shelby’s hand and push Jax and Gunner out of the way making my way to one of the offices slamming the door and locking it behind me.
I sit her down on the table and start to clean up the cut before I start stitching it, “You didn’t have to do that” she whispers, I stay silent my hands trembling from anger, she puts her hand over mine and i break down, “I’m so sorry Shelby, I should have protected you” I let the tears run freely as i finishing stitching up her stomach, “Hey look at me, it’s not your fault Harley, you came looking for me, you came to find me to make sure i was okay. You did protect me, you saved me”.