**I’m popping a trigger warning up here just so people don’t try to come at me for no warnings, there is a small self-harm scene in the 3rd and 4th paragraphs, skip over it if you need to**
– Harley –
“What are you going to do with him?” I ask with a smile, “I’m going to drop him off at his clubhouse, like a surprise, a giant present!” I can’t help but laugh again, every time he speaks my body heats up like an intense bush fire, destroying everything in its path. “Well Jax if you’re all done here I’m going to head home and get myself all clean” he smirks and says “No worries kitten, see ya tomorrow trouble maker” I step up onto my tippy toes and quickly give him a kiss on his cheek, I skip out the door to my bike I get on and make my way to the hotel, while riding all I can think about is why Jax calls me kitten, what does he mean by it?
I’ve never been big on pet names or ‘cute’ shit like that but for some dumb reason I like it when he does it, it doesn’t make me cringe like I usually do… I pull up to the hotel and get inside, locking the door behind me I grab my bottle of whiskey and pour myself a glass, I skull it quickly and pour another one before making my way to the bathroom. I turn the shower on and get in, the hot beads hit my skin and I place my forehead on the cold tiles infront of me, I close my eyes and think over everything that happened today, once I open my eyes they travel to the floor beneath me, the dried blood slowly washing off of me and making its way down the drain.
I quickly wash any blood that’s left on me off. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my body before making my way to the bed grabbing my glass as I walk out, I lay on the bed and sip on my drink tracing over my scars that are hidden under my tattoos. Most people wouldn’t notice them at all but to me no matter how much I try to cover them up I can always see them, feel them, a constant trigger on my body. It sounds weird but I like the way it feels, the burn as the blade slices through my skin, pain is the only thing I really feel anymore, I mean sure I’m always smiling and bubbly when I’m around other people but it’s fake, truth is I almost feel like I’m dead, like I’m just existing, not actually living.
I throw my glass across the room smashing it against the wall before I get up and grab the bottle instead, I take a few big swigs before I grab my pocket knife out of my clothes from today, I sit back on the bed and play with it for a while, flicking it around until I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. I trace the side of my hip with the blade, I only cut there now because I can hide it easily. I put pressure on the blade and slowly drag it across my skin as a wave of what almost feels like relief washes over my body I do it a few more times until I’m satisfied with myself, I get up and pour some whiskey on the cuts sending more pain through my body, a good pain, a pain I like, a pain I enjoy.
I throw an oversized shirt over my body and a pair of underwear before throwing myself onto the bed, I make a mental note in my head that I need to pack my shit up tomorrow. Shelby has asked me to move in with her, she’s got an apartment that’s closer to work and she hates being alone, and I just so happen to need somewhere to stay as I’ve made up my mind to stay here a little longer. I close my eyes and let myself sink into the mattress, I can’t stop thinking about Jax, but I need to stop this is just a game for both of us, once one of us is bored I’ll leave to the next town, I nod to myself before falling into a deep sleep, wow torturing people really takes it out of ya.
Next day
*Bang** Bang **Bang*
I shoot up in bed, stuffing my gun into the back of my underwear, I go to the cupboard and grab my baseball bat out, pretty little thang she is. No one knows where I am unless hes found me… no… not again.. I position myself and peek through the peek hole in the door I can’t see anyone there, I take a deep breath and swing open the door quickly while swinging my bat hardly, as I do the person at the door ducks as my bat hits the door frame, an all too familiar laugh comes from below me as I look down and let out a sigh of relief.
“Damn sugar you nearly took my fucking head off” I roll my eyes at him… Wait how does he know where I live? I turn to him and furrow my brows “How do ya know where I live Jax?” He jumps back to his feet and waltzes into my hotel room taking in his surroundings, “Don’t worry kitten, I ain’t stalking you. I just know everything, I have eyes in the walls and ears in the floor, I see all in my city” I raise an eyebrow at him and shrug before turning around, I walk into the kitchen I hear his footsteps behind me following my every move, I put my bat on the table before making a coffee.
“Want one?” I ask, he turns to me and nods his head, “black with one sugar” he says before turning around to look around the room some more. I finish making our coffees and place his on the kitchen island, I jump up on the bench and cross my legs, he turns to me not saying anything just watching. I take a sip of my coffee and reach for my packet of cigarettes and take 2 joints out, I hold it out to him silently asking if he wanted one, “Thanks, doll face” He takes it and sits it in between his lips, his perfect fucking lips.
I grab my lighter lighting his first then mine, “So, are you gonna tell me why you came here? or?” He flashes me a smile showing off his perfectly white teeth, he has a killer smile I can feel myself getting wet, he only fucking smiled Harley calm the fuck down. I move myself a little trying to get myself into a comfortable position as he starts speaking his deep voice instantly makes my panties drop and it takes all of me to not throw myself over the kitchen bench to jump his bones.
“I want you to come and work with me,” he says staring into my eyes, I choke on my coffee at what I just heard, “I’m sorry what?” I need him to repeat himself to make sure my weed wasn’t laced with acid or something. “I said I want you to work with me” he smiles again and I can feel my insides on fire I clear my throat and try to compose myself, “That’s what I thought you said, I thought my weed had been laced” He takes in a drag of his joint and walks closer to me, hes starting to make this little game extremely difficult, the smell of him slowly fills my nostrils instantly turning me on if I’m honest.
“I saw the look in your eye yesterday kitten, you’re twisted, as twisted as me, maybe even more” He raises an eyebrow and smirks, mmmm hes so… delicious, my eyes roam his body, his muscles that seem to be bulging under his tight shirt, the way his jeans sit on his figure, his messy hair, hes god-like face, the miles upon miles of tattoos, I want to trace my tongue over every single one, he speaks again pulling me out of the little trance I was in bring my back to reality.
“Not that, that would be a bad thing” I study his face trying to tell if he was serious or not, “What do I gotta do?” A smile comes over him as he walks closer to me sliding his hands around my waist tightening his grip a little, my body stiffens when he does forgetting I had cut myself their last night, I brush it off quickly, relaxing my body once more, he inches closer to my face, his eyes staring deep into my soul, his warm breath now on my face and neck sending goosebumps across my skin.
“I want you as my partner in crime, you’re fucking twisted, and I fucking love it” I raise an eyebrow at him not sure on how to respond, I smirk before asking him “Do I get to hurt people?” he laughs at my question before lifting my chin a little, he leans close to my neck his breath deeper the closer he gets to my skin, he makes his way to my wear before whispering into it “As many as you kitten” I can feel my lips curve into a smile “sell it to me Jax”, I already knew my answer but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of winning me over so easily.
I love hurting people, for years I was hurt, by people I thought cared about me, how I was so so wrong. But that’s whats made me who I am today, I’m a psychopath. He cups my face pushing our faces together so our foreheads and the tips of our nose meet, he starts swaying side to side slightly, staring into my eyes once more ” Well well well lets see, I want you kitten, I want to kill people together, I want someone as twisted and sick as me, someone evil, someone psychotic, someone free, I want to ruin peoples lives with you, and I know you do too, I saw how excited you were yesterday when you were cutting that fat pricks fingers off, I saw how happy you were with yourself when you dislocated the other guys shoulders, you can’t lie to me sugar”.
Hes right, I was excited. I’ve found someone just like me, sick and twisted, I’ve never felt more myself than I do right now, when people hear what I do they look at me like I’m a monster, like I’m a waste of space. What they don’t know is that I only kill people that harm others, I have never hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it, no one was there to save me when I needed it and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to sit by and let it happen to other people.
“What about your brothers? Your MC? How do you know they will agree to me being apart of whatever it is you do?” He takes a deep breath before his thumb starts rubbing my cheek, “Trust me kitten, they’ll love you and if they don’t, I’ll fucking kill them. So what do you say?” He smiles at me, I sit and think about it, we know nothing about each other for some fucking reason I feel like I can trust him… maybe… I’ll keep my blade’s close just in case.
“You’ve sold me handsome” A low growl comes out of his mouth, he pulls me closer to him, his hand in the small of my back. He smirks and lets out a low chuckle biting his lower lip, holy hell I can feel myself turning into putty in his hands, he feels the gun tucked into my underwear and bites his lip again, I completely forgot it was there.
His other now wrapped around the back of my neck, I can hear my heart beating out of my chest, it almost looks as if hes about to kiss me, he leans in closer to me our lips inches apart my breathing becomes short and quick. He licks his lower lip moving closer once again I bite my lip at the sight of it, I feel his lips slightly touching mine when his phone rings causing him to pull back, “fuck” hes says under his breath through gritted teeth.
“One second kitten” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in, as he answered the phone “What the fuck do you want?” he goes silent for a few seconds as his face turns cold, before muttering the words “Give me 20, oh and I’m bringing a guest make sure everyone’s there, tell them if they’re not that ill personally torture and kill every single one of them” he hangs up the phone and rubs his hands over his face and through his hair before turning to me with a smile on his face “Get really kitten, we have a job to do” I smirk and jump off the bench giggling down the hallway to my room.
I throw on a pair of fishnet stockings, black denim short shorts, a white crop top that barely covered my tits and a leather jacket, let’s give em a show. I make sure my guns fully loaded before putting back into my waistband, my pocket knife down my bra. I skip down the hallway to Jax, he looks me up and down before walking over to me “If we didn’t have a job to do, I’d be taking you right here right now” I let out a small giggle before walking off to get my baseball bat from the kitchen, I turn back to him and smile “Ready kitten?” he holds his hand out to me, I place my hand in his and smile “Oh, you have no idea”.