My quivering heart won.
I wanted to meet my mother. I wanted to know her.
Yes, it might be too soon. Yes, it might come with consequences. But I needed to hug her. I needed her arms around me.
If the worst comes to worst, I would stay with Diana and her family. Just let my mother know that I was alive. Let she be bereft of this hurtful pain.
Still, Dora? Really? You couldn’t think of a better name that didn’t have the same syllabic pronunciation like your real name? My mind chided me, yet I looked unfazed, refusing to give my feelings away.
I hadn’t been thinking. I hadn’t stopped to think of the best name to give my mother. ‘Dora’ had just escaped my mouth, before my brain had dwelled on it.
But that wasn’t what was causing my heart to race against itself. No. The name given to cover my identity was secondary to the cause of my nervousness now.
My heart raced as if it had a mind of its own, each beat quickening with the building anticipation. The thud in my chest echoed in my ears, a relentless drumroll of excitement that threatened to consume me. It was as if every nerve in my body was on high alert, waiting for that pivotal moment, that turning point that held the promise of something extraordinary.
Anticipation coursed through my veins like an electric current, sending shivers down my spine. My breaths came faster, each one drawing me closer to the climax of what I had been waiting for. It was a palpable sensation, the rush of adrenaline that heightened my senses, making every moment, every second, feel like an eternity.
In that exhilarating moment, time seemed to slow, and the world faded into the background. All that mattered was the anticipation, the promise of what was to come, and the racing of my heart was a testament to the thrill of the unknown, the expectation of something life-changing, just on the horizon.
I was expecting my mother to recognize me. Expecting her to open and close her mouth in shock, and then hug me. I was expecting, waiting to see the fondness and knowing cloud her eyes. No way could she not recognize her Maya’s voice.
As I stood before her, the anticipation building within me was almost unbearable. This was the moment I had been waiting for, the moment when she would finally recognize me. I might not be her flesh and blood, but she was the only mother I knew, the only one that had watched me grow, and trained me. She should recognize me. Shouldn’t she?
A torrent of emotions swirled within me, a heady mix of hope and anxiety.
This past hour, I had been content with staying in the shadows, hidden from the world and those I once loved. Naomi had failed to recognize me. Noah, and his brothers too. I had somehow gone past that, but I couldn’t take my mother not me. That would leave me with a sense of isolation and desperation.
The thought of being recognized and embraced by her, of feeling her arms around me, was a dream I had held onto for what felt like an eternity. It was a dream that had sustained me through the darkest moments of my journey, and now, it felt tantalizingly close to becoming a reality.
I watched her closely, my heart pounding with a mixture of hope and trepidation. This was the moment that could reunite us, the moment that could bridge the gap between the person I had become and the person I once was.
As my mother’s eyes met mine steadfastly, I found myself holding my breath, waiting for the spark of recognition to light up her gaze. The silence in the room seemed to stretch on, and every second that passed felt like an eternity.
But then, something unexpected happened. My mother’s eyes held no glimmer of recognition. There was no sudden realization, no surge of emotion. It was as if I were a complete stranger to her, a mere acquaintance.
The hope that had buoyed me moments ago began to crumble, replaced by a profound sense of disappointment. The anticipation that had been my lifeline now transformed into a heavy weight on my shoulders.
I couldn’t help but wonder what had changed so drastically that my own mother couldn’t recognize me. The answers remained elusive, and the prospect of reuniting with her seemed to slip further and further from my grasp. The moment I had longed for had come and gone, leaving me with a deep sense of longing and uncertainty.
“Thank you Dora. Nice to meet you too. Welcome to our pack. Hope you are having a lovely time?” She asked, after some beats, still staring at me.
I opened my mouth to speak, but shut it. This must be the fates. They didn’t want me known to my mother yet. They didn’t want me to cling to my mother’s embrace. The fates. What else could explain my mother not recognizing my voice?
Could Laura’s herbs have distorted my voice? I wondered, remembering what had happened the second time I had woken up from my slumber, or rather coma as Diana would call it. For a minute, my voice had been terrible, before I had coughed. Peter had promised then that it would get better; the long unuse of my voice had caused that.
Could it be that?
I coughed before I spoke again. Perhaps there was a lodge somewhere in my throat.
“Thank you, Ma.” I answered, tentatively though-to hear my voice, to dissect it, to know what was different. I sounded the same to me. Why couldn’t she recognize me?
Still there was no recognition. Yet, I wasn’t perturbed. I was done testing my voice.
“About your daughter…what happened to her?” I asked, deciding to make some conversation, giving up on being found out by my voice. I don’t know how it had happened, but my voice was unrecognizable to them.
Naomi and my mother darted glances, as if contemplating on whether they should trust a stranger with such a topic.
“Well, it started with the bullying.” Naomi was saying, and again I saw the pain fleet past my mother’s eyes.
I shut my eyes for a mini second and inhaled deeply, choosing to steel myself against the pain.
“Then a party to send her away to the human society, when the king had discovered that she was bullied. This was because she didn’t have the wolf gene in her. She wasn’t a werewolf. The king hadn’t seen the reason to keep her with us. The plan was understandable, and the party was thrown.” My mother spoke this time around, her voice low, shallow as if she was afraid to talk about it.
“At the party, my baby was accused of stealing. I knew she didn’t do it. I didn’t raise a thief. But…they were adamant, our beta’s daughter was. According to her, she had seen my Maya sneaking into the king’s office to take the necklace. But that is funny, because my Maya had never been in the palace before. So, how could she know where the necklace was? How could she know what it was? The King’s sons even defended her. And because of that, because of his sons standing up for my daughter, he confined her to a holding cell, instead of the dungeons.”
My left hand started to shake so terribly then, that I had to cover it up with my right hand. I wasn’t sure I was ready to know my mother again. I was still a basket case.
When she had spoken of the king’s sons, a note of gratitude had crept into her voice, and it grates on my nerves, that those bastards had fooled everyone, including my mother.
“I was glad, knowing that surely they would find out that it was a mistake and would therefore release my baby. But alas, the next morning, the guards had alerted everyone that she was missing. My Maya was missing. At first, it seemed impossible. There was no break in at the holding cell. There was nothing to suggest a runaway; her phone was still with the guards. It was like she had disappeared into thin air. Do you know the funny thing?” My mother asked, laughing now, a slow laughter that sang of pain and anything but humour.
I shook my head, even though I had a feeling of what she might be preparing to say.
“They found the necklace at the spot where it should have been. It had amazed the entire cabinet, but the deed had been done.”
“What about the girl, the one that had accused your daughter? Was she punished for that? For lying?” I asked, seeking to know the next action of the king.
Naomi’s scoff told me of the answer I hated to hear, ever before she spoke.
“Punished? Not at all. It was just scraped under the carpet. The king had decided that Maya had probably ran away, and perhaps having a change of heart, had returned the necklace.”
I laughed, shaking my head, feeling the tension around me loosen.
“Then I would say she deserves what she got tonight. Don’t you think so?” I asked, maintaining the friendly gaze between I and Naomi with my mother.
Naomi piqued her eyebrows, then laughed. “I can see why I thought you were familiar. You think like her. Maya, I mean. And yes you are right. Claire deserved what had happened to her tonight.”
She laughed again, holding my mother by the shoulders, my mother whose lips were tempted with a smile too.
My mother wanted to agree with my statement-I could see it in her eyes, but she was never someone to rejoice at someone else’s misfortune. But I was sure that she enjoyed the karma that Claire just faced, even though she would never admit it.
“Well, I’m ready for the night air, Mrs Shalom. But I wish you luck in finding your daughter. Hopefully, she will turn up sooner than later.” I say, smiling as a smile curved her lips.
She nodded at me, Noami too, both watching as I turned my heels and headed for the doors.
They didn’t see though, the fat tear that slipped from my right eye.